The Dude’s Prayer (based on the Lord’s Prayer)
Our Dude, who art in Los Angeles,
Hallowed be thy handle.
Thy rug will come.
Thy chill be done
All over Earth, as it is in your bungalow.
Give us this day our daily caucasian,
And forgive us our stresspasses,
As we forgive those who stresspass against us.
And lead us not into Simi Valley,
But deliver us from real reactionaries and human paraquat.
For thine is the lane, and the ball, and the what-have-you,
Down through the ages, across the sands of time.
Fuckin’ A man.
The Calm Psalm
A.K.A. The Dude is my Brother Shamus (based on Psalm 23)
Psalm 23 of the Christian Bible is one of the most popular passages, often repeated. It affirms one’s faith that the universe is taking care of you. Dudeism has a similar attitude. In the passage below, “The Dude” is not a person, but a way of living, an attitude, and philosophy. If we follow the way of the Dude, our troubles are over, man.
The Dude is my Brother Shamus; I shall abide.
He helpeth me lay down on valued rugs.
He leadeth me into the bubblebath waters.
He bringeth new information to light.
Yea, though I walk through the seamy valleys, in the shadows of dipshits,
I will fear no Nihilists; for they are cowards.
Thou preparest a table for me with burgers, beers, a few laughs.
Thou refilleth my White Russian.
Careful man! My beverage runneth over.
Surely limberness shall follow me all the days of my life. Is this a – what day is this?
And I will abide in the Dude’s Abode indefinitely.
The Serendipity Prayer (based on the Serenity Prayer)
Dude, grant me the ease to not be worried about all that shit,
the courage to say when this aggression will not stand,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting that new shit will always come to light;
Laughing at the whole durn human comedy,
Not trying to make it stop and start at my convenience;
Trusting that nothing is fucked here!
The plane has not crashed into the mountain!
Thus, you remind me to always abide today,
So that my thinking will never be uptight tomorrow.
Fuckin’ A, man.
I Am The Walrus.
— By Reverend Dr. Charlie J. Perkins
Dudeist Affirmation (based on the Serenity Prayer)