The Dude’s Prayer (based on the Lord’s Prayer)
Our Dude, who art in Los Angeles,
Hallowed be thy handle.
Thy rug will come.
Thy chill be done
All over Earth, as it is in your bungalow.
Give us this day our daily caucasian,
And forgive us our stresspasses,
As we forgive those who stresspass against us.
And lead us not into Simi Valley,
But deliver us from real reactionaries and human paraquat.
For thine is the lane, and the ball, and the what-have-you,
Down through the ages, across the sands of time.
Fuckin’ A man.
The Serendipity Prayer (based on the Serenity Prayer)
“Dude, grant me the ease to not be worried about all that shit,
the courage to say when this aggression will not stand,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting that new shit will always come to light;
taking, as you did, this whole durn human comedy as it is,
not trying to make it stop and start at my convenience;
trusting that nothing is fucked here,
that the plane has not crashed into the mountain,
So that I will abide in this life,
and that my thinking will not be too uptight about the next.
Fuckin’ A, man.
I Am The Walrus.”
— By Reverend Dr. Charlie J. Perkins
Dudeist Affirmation (based on the Serenity Prayer)