The Dudeism Forum

Got two thoughts here. DB is right, when it becomes too painful you have to take your self out of the situation for a spell, take a break, regroup. It is better to spend less time while more present, than to be in the room but not truly there.

Second, what helped me through some similar times was remembering that each moment, for every one of us, is a stolen moment from the void. What is guaranteed is disintegration, impermanence and change, what's no guaranteed is our next breathe. That's why every single second is a gift, every heart beat stolen from impermanence, precious and beautiful, even our suffering is rare and amazing. If you are feeling scared or pained, that's good news, it means you are alive and aware to feel it.

Hang in there bro, take comfort in the abiding love that is all around you, even in the darkest hours.

Thank you Milnie for your words and thoughts...I know you're busy right now!

DB...cheers mate you are so right...it's what I need I few beers a few laughs...my trouibles won't be over but maybe I could lighten the fuck up for a while?

I've got 4 things I've been in invited to this weekend. A bbq with about 12 girls and three males. A night out with some fire show circus girly performers, a night of smoking some ganja with my ex neighbours (good people!) or a dinner party with a couple of old friends and some other couples....choices choices!

I normally turn all invitations down but this weekend shall be different. Can we have a poll and see which one will serve me best!?

Peace dudes and thanks....

Just a quick update....

My beautiful lady sleeps on despite my cajoling her to come out and play.

There hasn't been any real improvement in her condition but as always I am hopeful!

She seems to mumble in syllables when I ask her questions...but this may be wishful thinking and she does seem to be aware of when I enter the room but who knows?

There have been a few documentaries recently on patients with similar conditions using FMRI to assess consciousness. I hope to get her on these trials but it takes time and getting the attention of the right neuro surgeons!

I still spend every evening with her and her parents visit in the daytime so she is rarely without someone around to reassure her and tell her she is safe.

The nights for me are hard...so hard. But maybe one day I will get my miracle. I believe we are all entitled to at least one miracle per lifetime!

That's right surely!

This is a picture of her when we went camping in Norfolk it was around 09.00 and then it got REALLY HOT!!!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/164315_10150101552106318_4233049_n.jpg




Peace dudes

You truly are an inspiration dude - your patience and love know no bounds. The world's a better place with you in it!!!

C dude, you are a true dude indeed. We're all pulling for your special lady friend.

There's no telling why life brings us the things it does, but my fondest hope is that it also brings you that miracle you're looking for.

For what it's worth, I've talked with friends who've been in that long sleep and they say that they were often aware on some level of things going on around them, but had no awareness of the passing of time so they didn't know if this thing and that had meaning or were connected somehow. It seems important to just be there. No matter where you are on the journey or where it leads, it's always best to have someone along.

Remember to take care of you, too, man. When the weight of the world is on your shoulders, you can't afford to become exhausted and drop the thing. It's better to set it down gently from time to time so you can regain your strength.

The three of you are in this Dude's thoughts, man.

Thanks for the update cd. As always our rhoughts go with you and your special lady friend

Well Caesar Dude, I've been on here a wee while but only just found this thread and read it through. It's all awful what's happened and is happening, but what does shine through is you caring for and watching over her day in day out... Don't forget to care for yourself, as you both need you too.
                             Good vibes to you both and keep abiding dude...

Just know that we're here for you and your Special Lady. Keeping you in our thoughts and sending you both supportive energy.  We'll all 'abide' with you in this. (You are both in my prayers.)

Thank you Easy Dude and Chaplain K.

Your comments, good wishes and prayers are very welcome and well received.

Thank you for taking the time to read the thread all way through, it's a raw account and I think I would struggle taking it all in!

So as I'm here. An update!

Chantelle has become much more vocal recently, however she has also had several chest infections, (I'm sure I've mentioned this before but this is what kills most people in her condition!)

Being more vocal, moaning to be fair, could be a reaction to pain or discomfort. It's still good though as it shows a reaction which hasn't been happening before! It distresses me and her parents though as I'm sure you can imagine!

I do seem to be able to hold mumbling "conversations" with her though. I say "I love you" she mumbles mmm mmm mmm! Hey I'll take that!

There's a dude on here who is coming to visit in few weeks and going to try some sound therapy with her. I've had a personal experience with an Australian Aborigine and a didgeridoo which calmed me down a bit for sure! So I'm looking forward to the experience.

Today we were told that Chantelle has been allowed another year in the care home.....lots of red tape and government crap you know!? So that's a victory in itself.

I tell her everyday she is safe and now at least she is for at least one more year.

Once again I want to say thank you to all of you dudes who say prayers, light candles. or even just hold a thought for us. It keeps me strong and makes life a little bit easier for me, knowing that there others out there who don't know us but are bowling for us.

Thank you all dudes.

Peace.

Still hanging in there for you, C dude! Continue to abide!

We're here for you; that's what Dudes do for fellow Dudes. My prayers continue to go out to you and your lady.

As always my thoughts and heart go out to you (as most other members do).

So here we are in this dudely community and yes it's mostly an electronic affair!

And yes I hear your sympathy and I appreciate your heartfelt words.

And I thank you. Each and every one of you.

But then there are the dudes who not only read and sympathise but reach out a hand from across the miles.

Then there is the man who drives a 500 mile round 7 hour trip to come and spend an hour with my lady and I.

A man who having driven for three hours doesn't even have a cup of tea but sits and chants and gives counsel.

In my life I have met many men. Some of them warriors, some of them priests.

Three days ago I met a warrior priest. A dudeist missionary. A man amongst men.

Thank you sir. Thank you indeed. Not just for the time you spent with me and my son and my lady but for all the time you spent on the road and your compassion and your understanding.

A wiser man than me once said something along the lines of "whatsoever you do unto the least of my people that you do unto me." Those words have always worked for me.

Thank you Dude for doing what you did. Thank you from my heart and on the behalf of Chantelle and Callum. You are a good man.

The reward is truly in the deed dude. Whether its wanted or not I doff my cap to your unnamed dude and thank you both for inspiring me to be a better dude