The Dudeism Forum

Man, this are great! 

Some amazing, inspirational stuff... Very enlightening without being fatuous

28. Being the lady friend
--------------------

Knowing the dude, being the lady friend
Being the lane through which roles the Ball,
One embraces unfailing Love
And again roles a strike.

Knowing the new shit that has come to light, being the darkness that warshes over,
Being the Ball,
One becomes unerring Love
And returns to dudeness.

Knowing honor, being perfectly calm,
Being the gutter for the Ball,
Love suffices,
And one is as an unmixed drink.

When drinks are mixed they become beverages.
Used by the dude, beverages keep his mind limber;
So a good dude wastes little.

29. Undudeness
-------------

Those who wish to threaten the Dude
Because they want the money
Cannot succeed.

The World is shaped by taking it easy;
It cannot be shaped by undudeness.
If one tries to shape it, one crashes the plane into the mountain;
If one tries to possess the briefcase, one loses the briefcase.

Therefore:
Sometimes we roll strikes,
And sometimes we roll gutters.
Sometimes there are downs
And sometimes there are ups.
Sometimes people are reactionaries
And sometimes they are pacifists.
Sometimes you get to the finals
And sometimes you get a crack on the jaw.

The Stranger is not extreme, extravagant, or complacent.

30. Aggression
------------

Powerful men are well advised not to use aggression,
For aggression cannot go unchecked;
Tumbleweeds blow wherever a line is drawn in the sand,
Across this line you do not.

Walter is well advised
To achieve nothing more than his orders,
No matter where there is a literal connection or not;
To follow the rules
But not glory, boast or be proud;
To do what determines who enters the next round-robin,
But not by buddies dieing face down in the muck;
For even the worthiest fuckin' adversary will weaken with time,
And then its aggression will be checked.

31. The Undude
---------------------

Goons are tools, violent, not a golfer;
The Dude will not employ them.
His purpose is recreation;
Their purpose is rug-peeing.

Nihilists are tools, violent, techno-pop;
He plays Autobahn when all else is fuckin' Eagles,
For he ist ein expehrt,
And fixes her cable.

For who demands the fucking money
Will fuck you in the ass;
And who fucks you in the ass
Will have toes and ears severed.

Walter will go to Ralph's
And a Folger's can will be emptied.

32. Leads
---------

The Dude has no true definition.
Like Creedence, it has no use;
It's like Lenin said,
I am the Walrus,
In harmony with The Dude,
Just as sweet rain falls
Needing no Oat Soda
To slake the thirst
Of the person who will benefit.

When The Dude is called Jeffery,
Jeffery is not the name of The Dude;
One should not keep marmots
As it ain't legal either;
Instead let The Dude flow through Jeffery into Maude
As it increases the chances of conception.

A personal favorite...

33. Virtue
----------

Who understands the Dude is learned;
Who understands the Stranger is enlightened.
Who conquers the Pins has strength;
Who conquers the Self abides.
Who is abided has riches;
Who is determined to make the finals has purpose.
Who maintains his rug will be long tied-together.
Who maintains his dudeness will live long after death.

34. The Dude Favors No One
----------------------

Infinite, The Dude chills everywhere, tasting the half-and-half,
Watching the Cycle, inhaling to the tiniest roach,
Claiming nothing in return.

He abides all things,
Though he does not control them;
He has no intention,
So he seems like a loser,
Someone the square community wouldn't give a shit about.

He is the substance of all things;
Whether in Malibu or near the In-and-Out Burger;
He has no exception,
So he fits right in there.

Because he favors no finite thing,
The Dude is infinite.

35. Pacifism
---------

The Dude lacks a job and business papers;
He can neither be hired nor fired,
Yet his services are always sought.

If you offer the fuckin' Eagles and Pigs-in-Blanket
Pederasts may stop with you;
But if you accord with The Dude
The Strangers of the World will like your style
In bathtubs, thorough doctors, bowling teams, and peace.

36. Under the Influence
-------------

To be under the influence, first cause the mind to expand;
To reduce someone's undudeness, first tell them to take it easy;
To see someone's toe go over the line, first yell, "OVER THE LINE!";
To take eight pins, first enter a world of pain.

This is the subtlety by which the weak overcome the strong,
For people should not act undude;
And Strangers should not use too many curse words.

37. Shut the Fuck Up Donny!
----------------------

The Dude does not act, yet leaves nothing undone.
If the Stranger understands this
All the dudes of the World naturally flourish;
Flourishing, they are constrained by Nuhseen.

The Dude does not possess desire;
All he ever wanted was his rug back, it really tied the room together,
And so the whole World may be tied together.

38. Religion
------------

The abiding do not act.
The vaginal artists act without self-interest;
The nihilists act to serve self-interest;
The camel-fuckers act to reproduce self-interest.

For when The Dude is lost, there is Jeff;
When Jeff is lost, there is Walter;
When Walter is lost, there is Donny;
And when Donny is lost, you need to brush him off you clothes.

Known pornographers are not easily uprooted;
Beliefs in nohsing are not easily released;
So wanting the fucking money is the condition your condition is in.

Ethos is the end of taking it easy,
The beginning of confusion;
The rules are hope and fear,
You're out of your element.

The Dude's mind is kept limber, he wasn't listening;
He dwells in the rug, not Pasadena or Malibu;
He accepts the rash, and tests the creamer.

39. Wholeness
-------------

In the early '90s all things were whole:
All the sky was clear,
All the earth was stable,
All the mountains were strong,
All the riverbeds were full,
All of nature was alive,
And The Dude abided.

But without a limber mind, the sky tears;
Without stability, you're in a world of pain;
Without strength, buddies die face down in the muck;
Without creamer, the Russian is black;
Without life, the Folger's is empty;
And without abiding, even The Dude wanders.

So The Dude depends upon the bowling team,
Brandt kisses your ass;
And The Dude call himself unemployed, a loser,
To attract those who would exploit him.

Wholeness needs no half-and-half.
So there is Jeffery in The Dude,
And The Dude in Jeffery;
Rather than charge a thousand dollars,
You should go find a cash machine.

Nice job on 38 & 39 digbys kid. I almost tried to tackle those, but my mind was not nearly limber enough, and my thinking became way too uptight. Those versus were definitely not push-overs