Good Tao Dude

[Laughing Dude]

Good copy of the Tao te Ching, very Dude book, has been floatin round in the old internet's head. Thought I'd share it with you.

It's NEAR the In-And-Out Burger.

http://mars.superlink.net/~fsu/tao2.html

[DirtDude]

I have a fun idea... Rewrite the Tao Te Ching in Lebowskian language, or nomenclature, or what-have-you in the parlance of our times. I'm sure someone is already working on it, but here's verse 1 to get the ball rolling:

Dude!

The dude that can be known is not dude.
The substance of the World is only a name for Abiding.
"Take it easy man" is all that exists and may exist;
Bowling is only a map of what exists and may exist.

One experiences without Self or enters a World of pain,
And experiences with complicated cases to understand the World.
The two experiences like the style of the other;
They are distinct only within the Bar.
Sometimes you eat the Bar and sometimes he eats you
Which is infinitely greater and more subtle than the fucking TOE!

[DirtDude]

2. Qualities
------------

When the dude is recognized in the World
undudeness has been learned;
When taken it easy is recognized in the World
Unchecked Aggression has been learned.

In this way:
Amateurs and Achievers are abstracted from growth;
Complex and Simple are abstracted from progress;
Foot and line are abstracted from position;
Reactionaries and Pacifists are abstracted from control;
Strikes and gutters are abstracted from harmony;
Ups and downs are abstracted from sequence.

The stranger controls without authority,
And teaches without cuss words;
He lets all things take'er easy,
Watches the semis, but does not interfere,
Drinks sarsaparilla without demanding,
And Abides.

[DirtDude]

3. Control
----------

This is not nam, so following the rules prevents cheating
Not parking in a handicap spot prevents theft
Not flaunting beauty prevents coitus

So the stranger controls people by:
Digging their style,
Listening to their stories,
Telling them to take'er easy,
And strengthening their morale in the finals.

If people lack new shit that has come to light
The crafty among them split hairs;
If no action is taken
The rug will have piss on it.

[SmokeytheBuddha]

DirtDude--

You should think about submitting these to the Dudespaper.

[digbys kid]

4. Properties of The Dude
--------------------

Let me tell you somethin' about The Dude.
Doin' a J, he would never dream of taking your bullshit money;
You cannot cut off his Johnson, though you throw a marmot into his bath;
His mind is limber, and he fits right in there;
What the fuck you you talking about?
I lost my train of thought there!

[DirtDude]

5. Nihilists
---------

Nihilists are not kind;
They treat all things impartially.
The Stranger is not kind,
He treats all people impartially.

Nihilists are like a bellows
Empty, yet full of hot air,
The more they threaten, the more cowardly they seem;
The stranger draws upon Tao in the same way
But cannot be exhausted.

[Laughing Dude]

Thats fucking interesting, thats fucking interesting man.
Keep up the good work, I'll award you 10,000 Dude points if you do the whole thing,

[digbys kid]

6.  Bunny

Like a nympho stepmother, she has to feed the monkey.
She is strongly vaginal, but makes no art
Only beaver pictures
The Dude still jerks off manually
And he will find a cash machine.

[DirtDude]

7. Self
-------

Bowling is everlasting because it does not have a Self.

In this way the dude:
Serves his Self last and finds it served first;
Sees his ball as accidental and finds it endures through strikes and gutters.

Because he does not go over the line, he is content.

[DirtDude]

DirtDude--

You should think about submitting these to the Dudespaper.

Yo Smokey, Fortunately I've been adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, limber, so maybe we can get all 81 versus done before submitting to the dudespaper.

[forumdude]

fucking fabulous stuff, man. the dudespaper will be honored to publish them when you're ready.

the dirt dude rules the earth!

[digbys kid]

8. Kahlua
-----------

The man for his time and place
Takes it easy, and is calmer than you are,
Knowing the rug-peers did not do this,
Like Lenin said.

So The Dude:
In dwelling where it's already the tenth,
In driving with rust coloration,
In helping her conceive,
In taking any rug in the house,
In going to the In-and-Out Burger on Camrose,
In not rolling on Shabbos,
In liking your style too, man;
You don't have the girl, dipshit, we know you never did.

[forumdude]

and digby's kid too. A+

[digbys kid]

9. Unchecked Aggression
---------

Forget about the toe and finish you coffee;
Hate the fuckin' Eagles and get thrown out of the cab;
Piss on the rug and you're in a world of pain;
Step over the line and you must mark it zero;
Say "Fuck it" and abiding is acheived -
This is the way of The Dude.