Good Tao Dude

[digbys kid]

50. Life and Death
------------------

Death enters life as the cable gets fixed.

The limits of the Man in Me:
Thirty years of idealism;
Thirty years of nihilism;
Thirty years in between, to abide;
So death and life reproduce themselves,
A zesty enterprise.

He who would piss on a rug
Will not meet marmots or Treehorns in beach communities,
Nor four more detectives on the case.
So the Treehorn finds no place for his smut,
The marmot no bathtub,
The detective no leads;
So death finds no place to enter his life.

[DirtDude]

Aitz chaim he - translation: It's the tree of life!

What would the Dudeist practice of Kabbalah be called? Hmm, there's something to roll around in ol'duder's head for a while.

Nice stuff little Larry, er, digbys kid

[digbys kid]

51. Love
--------

The Dude abides us,
Maude nurtures us,
Walter shapes us,
Donny in a Folger's can completes us.

We abide and honor The Dude;
For abiding and honoring of The Dude
Are performed by being alive.

The Dude abides us,
Abiding nurtures, develops, cares for,
Shelters, comforts, and slips the rent under the door for us.

Bowling without controlling,
Riding without the fuckin' Eagles,
Siring without parenting,
Being called a jerkoff without listening,
This is abiding.

[DirtDude]

52. Prior Restraint
-------------

The origins of the Dude are his mother;
Know the Dude, and you understand Abiding;
Know abiding, and you embrace the World,
Who shall not perish when you die.

Reserve your words and keep your voices down
And you maintain your dudeness;
Draw conclusions and cross the line
And your dudenss is lost.

They send us a toe,
We're supposed to shit ourselves with fear;
Oh please dear!
For your information;
The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!

[digbys kid]

53. Distractions
----------------

With but a small understanding
One may follow The Dude like the 404,
Fearing only the wooden bridge;
Following instructions is easy,
But beating the truth out of nihilists is also easy.
A swiss fucking watch.

When Pasadena is kept up
The valley is left to tumbleweeds
And lanes are empty.

Wearing purple jumpsuits,
Recording German techno-pop,
Fucking a stranger in the ass,
Keeping amphibious rodents within the city limits -
These are the ways of theft
And deviation from The Dude.

[digbys kid]

54. Mark it, Dude
--------------

The Dude does not think of The Dude
For this reason is he abides;
He does nothing,
Yet leaves nothing undone.

Nihilists want that fucking money,
For this reason they are cowards;
They always act,
Yet gets nossing done.

Nurture love in the Self, and love will be genuine;
Nurture love in the family, and love will be abundant;
Nurture love in the bowling team, and love will make the finals;
Nurture love in the culture, and love will leave the Creedence;
Nurture love in the World, and love will be ubiquitous.

Therefore:
Know a person by their love;
Know a family by its love;
Know a bowling team by its love;
Know a culture by its love;
Know the World by its love.
How can I know the love of the World?
By knowing The Dude.

[DigitalBuddha]

** The dude in the ball......................

Enlightenment is like the dude reflected on the bowling lane thus polished.
The dude does not cross over the line, nor are the rules broken.
Although the lane is long and great,
The dude is reflected even in a single ball a mere eight inches wide.
The whole dude and the bowling alley
Are reflected in one bowling ball.......life is marked eight. Next frame.


** Raw...............

Who is painting raw?
Your physical being hovers over,
The dude is splashed from atop.
Then what does beaver mean?
Strive to find out.
Put aside your lady friend,
Give up all coitus (fuck that shit, man).
Just get rid of the notion of strongly vaginal.
Help her conceive, man.


* Training..................

Blowing on toenails is not punishment,
it's training. Cash machine wisdom.

[digbys kid]

55. Love and Nature
-------------------

Who is filled with love is like a dude.
Marmots will not impress him;
Pomeranians will not lick him;
Nihilists will not cut off his johnson.

His belly is soft, yet his sinews are supple,
So he rolls a strike;
He has no wife, you see no ring on his finger,
So the toilet seat is up;
He sings the theme to "Branded" in a Malibu patrol car
And his harmony is perfect.

To approach The Dude is to know harmony;
To acheive The Dude is to be enlightened;
But to surpass The Dude is to enter a world of pain
For emotion will burst the lungs
And exhaustion will age the heart;
The toe that goes over the line
Marks it zero.

[DirtDude]

56. Impartiality.
-----------------

He who knows does not blabber;
He who blabbers should shut the fuck up.

Reserve your judgments and keep your voice down;
Keep your mind limber and simplify your purpose;
Be humble as earth and a part of the Dude.

In this way
Friendship and aggression,
Profit and loss,
Strikes and gutters,
Will not affect you.
The impartial Dude is of most benefit to the World.

[DirtDude]

57. Government
--------------

A bowling league is best governed by innocence;
A war is best waged by unchecked aggression;
The World is best controlled by taking it easy;
Why?

Because:
The more property and goldbrickers there are,
The more the bums lose;
The more guns and knives that are waved around,
The more league bylaws are violated;
The more strongly vaginal arts and sciences there are,
The more feminism prevails;
The more rules and regulations there are,
The more crossing over the line there is.

Therefore the stranger says:
I take it easy, and the people like their style;
I wage no aggression, and the people become mellow;
I transact no business, and the people become fucking loaded;
I have no desire, and the people become innocent.

[DirtDude]

58. Be Forgiving
----------------

When the Dude is lazy and blunt
The people are kind and cool;
When Walter is efficient and severe
The people are stonewalling and deceitful.

Undudeness may yield happiness;
Happiness may conceal Undudeness.
Who can say which will be for the best?
Nothing is to the fucking point.
Honesty is ever compromised;
Kindness is ever seduced;
Men have been like this for generations.

So the Stranger is firm but not cutting,
Polite but not cussing,
Straight but not uncowboy,
Brilliant but not confusing.

[DigitalBuddha]

25 sacred steps to achieve Zen Dudeism...................

1. Always help your lady friend conceive.

2. Visit the cash machine once a week.

3. Slow down once in a while and blow on the fairer sex's toes, ignoring of course any close by floating nihilists.

4. Never carry your own rug you get from the old man

5. Do not do what your parents did and get a job.

6. Always stop by and use the John...if you're in the neighborhood.

7. Never fear a flashback.

8. Contemplate and explore your natural hatred of the Eagles.

9. Have fun, pull your shorts down once in a while.

10. Sing in your car as you bang on the hood.

11. Safeguard your business papers.

12. Forget about the fucking toe, even those with nail polish.

13. Speak the truth no matter at all times: "You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."

14. Recognize when something is just like an opinion, man.

15. Look for the person who benefits.

16. Never be a park ranger.

17. Acknowledge a nice marmot when you see one.

18. Never fear ashes in your face.

19. Always look again, its down there somewhere.

20. Remember, the toilet seat is best left up.

21. Give thanks for your beeper.

22. Remember, its Smokey and just a game, man.

23. This is not Nam, care about the fucking rules.

24. Always say thank you Donny.

25. Never forget that sometimes the bar eats you; best to say fuck it.

.............master the above, and you will always abide.


Bonus steps..............take time to give notes, and never ask if the boys in the crime lab have any leads, never roll out naked, and always recognize separate incidences.

[digbys kid]

59. Restraint
-------------

Solve a complicated case
As you would smoke a J.

When directing men to a purpose
The sage tells them not to fuck around;
Restraint allows time to prepare and strengthen,
To bowl and to bathe,
To build loving relationships,
To help her conceive;
With sufficient Kahlua and love all resistance is overcome;
When all resistance is overcome one abides.

Who can abide is able to direct men
And they all remain under the influence.
Deeply rooted and limber minded,
His vision lives on even after the last strike is rolled.

[DigitalBuddha]

* Western version...

I'm the dude
Therefore I am


* Eastern version...

There is dudeness
(If you're into the whole brevity thing)

[DirtDude]

60. Words
------------

Because the stranger Abides, his Words do not bother some men;
It is not that they lose their dudeness
But that they do not bother some men;
Because they do not bother some men
He does not bother:
Because his Words do not bother,
All his conversations with people are dudely.