The Dudeism Forum

Well, I guess I should begin by saying that I'm a guy with a few strong opinions. And because of that, sometimes, when someone steps over the line, I can't help going a little Walter. Some aggressions just cannot stand, man!
So, I study as this very expensive college here in Brazil. And just like any place full of rich people, there are a lot of real reactionaries there. And so there I was smoking a J besides the gas station close to college and I heard some people talking about cops here being forbidden from helping victims of shootings or accidents. As they were talking to a friend of mine, I jumped in to explain that a law forbidding this because cops "helped" criminals they just shot, "accidentally" killing them in the process. The answer I got was "but they SHOULD kill them". Now, usually someone saying something like this in a conversation with me would be in for a world of pain. But, trying to practice what I preach, I threw my hands in the air and said I would not get into this discussion. The guy even threw me some meritocratic bullshit to try to get me to debate, but I was firm in not giving in to Walter and stayed out of it.
Of course, that was a mistake, for this stayed in my mind for the rest of the day. Had I given in and discussed, I'd get pissed then but it'd get out of my system and wouldn't bother me anymore. After all, even the Dude had to do something about it when they peed on his fucking rug. And then I remembered the bowling ball, and the balance it symbolizes. My conclusion was that, sometimes, abiding is all about yelling in the middle of a nice family restaurant, getting it all out of your system so you're able to let it go afterwards.
So how do you guys judge when it is time to go bowling and when you should tell them about your time in 'Nam?

Hey Dude,

Interesting thoughts, man, and yeah, that conversation sounds pretty crazy.

So, I think I have a minority opinion on these here boards, but I actually think that the Inner Walter is overrated. To me, the balance idea that you brought up is really about maintaining calm through the strikes and gutters of life, enjoying the strikes and taking it easy through the rough spots.

Others (I think) have a different interpretation, like yours, that abiding is about balancing Dude-like calm with Walter-like aggravation (or something like that). Personally, I'm not too sure that going off on a Walter rant does much to tie the ethos together. That's not to say that abiding is about suppressing the inner Walter-- that just sets you up with a cleft asshole. To me, abiding is more like not taking those Inner Walter moments too seriously, and so not going all reactionary when things irritate you.

Just my dudely way of seeing things; I'm sure others will have a totally different take.

Peace, man!

I get you, man. But then, again, there's no way you can actually not ever feel angry. The way I see it, balance is about being angry sometimes and letting it go afterwards. Sure, you should go Vietnam on someone who dropped a beer on you, I'm not saying you should just let your Inner Walter out whenever someone wrongs you. I'm saying that, sometimes, getting angry is inevitable, and so you shouldn't hold it out since it'll be worse for you on the long run.

Even the dude gets angry sometimes we may regret it later but sometimes you have to let it out to let it go.

There's no right or wrong here dudes... we're all different, and we're all different on different days!  Some of us need to vent like Walter, others not so much.  Some days I can really get highly irritated, and it will eat the shit out of me.  Other days, it's water off a duck's back.  I was surprised I didn't react more to a particular poster here that shall remain nameless, but I bidded my time.  Turns out the situation resolved itself without me going all Walter on him, which could have been my reaction say - a month or two ago.

Oh - and welcome Synth.  Bar's over there...

I agree with you, Dude, and like Hominid said, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this, but it's good to think through this stuff from different viewpoints.

So, to me, Dude the "gift" of Dudeism is learning to keep calm by keeping a limber mind and by seeing my expectations as just, you know, like my opinion man. So, when I feel my inner Walter creeping in on me it's an opportunity to notice how my expectations get in the way of keeping calm. We don't get angry at the way things are, we get angry that they're not the way we'd like them to be. That's what I've learned from keeping tabs on my inner Walter.

Now, what you're saying, Dude, is that outbursts are inevitable and that we should just let them go once they've happened. I totally agree with you, man, and I think part of where I'm coming from is that I'm really bad letting that shit go. I get upset with myself for getting so carried away.  (That's part of the reason I try to cut it off at the pass, I think -- to avoid the regret later on.) I wish I were better at that. Any tips, man?

Quote from: Synth on February 09, 2014, 01:34:13 PM
I get you, man. But then, again, there's no way you can actually not ever feel angry. The way I see it, balance is about being angry sometimes and letting it go afterwards. Sure, you should go Vietnam on someone who dropped a beer on you, I'm not saying you should just let your Inner Walter out whenever someone wrongs you. I'm saying that, sometimes, getting angry is inevitable, and so you shouldn't hold it out since it'll be worse for you on the long run.

Indulge your inner Walter.

I applaud your ability to walk away,  Synth; especially given your stated tendencies. My take on such situations is that you have to do whatever best resolves the problem and gets it out of your head. Sometimes, that's throwing up your hands and just saying "Fuck it." Sometimes, that's immediately confronting people on the issue. Sometimes, that's taking pliers and a blowtorch to some random fascist or reactionary.

Luckily, it's usually more of the former stuff and less of the latter thing. But I gots them pliers, mang. Fo realz.

I used to bottle it up, but that made me ill. So I try to let it out as much as possible now, much to the amusement of my office, or anyone watching TV with me.

Feel better most of the time though.

I think I got this from FaceBook.

But what do you do if you feel like you have to keep it in?

Quote from: Masked Dude on February 14, 2014, 04:28:06 PM
But what do you do if you feel like you have to keep it in?

go bowling and take it out on the pins!

Quote from: meekon5 on February 14, 2014, 08:43:35 AM


I think I got this from FaceBook.

Awesome!

I don't know about you dudes, but when I can ("can" being the operative word here, I'm not an expert by any measure), I try to take a few breaths and ask myself a few questions:

Why am I getting angry?
Will getting angry make things get better, or worse?
Will getting angry undo what's been done, or stop this from happening again?
Can I let go of my anger and then discuss this calmly with the offending person?
Is this a "Fuck it, shit happens" situation?

Like I said, dudes, I'm no expert, but this method helps me and it might help you.  Do I still blow my stack occasionally?  Sure!  But my fuse is a lot longer than it used to be, and I don't go around irritated about every damn thing that disturbs my "The Way Things Ought to Be" mindset.

...and the Missus says I'm a hell of a lot easier to live with!  Can't argue with those results!

Quote from: Masked Dude on February 14, 2014, 04:28:06 PM
But what do you do if you feel like you have to keep it in?

Either contemplate why I feel like I have to keep it inside instead of taking affirmative action...or self-medicate by arbitrarily increasing my serotonin re-uptake inhibitors. They're both about equally helpful.