The Dudeism Forum

Thanks for the words of encouragement Dudes.  I almost let myself slip earlier this morning.  Company is hosting a bring your child to work day event.  In two days, that they just told me about now.  I've got nothing against the kids don't get me wrong but I'm the Security/Safety Dude in a Laboratory. 

Kids+Chemicals = Bad juju man. 

Felt myself tense up, the early stages of the headaches I used to get all the time starting to reassert itself.  Just closed my eyes, took a deep breath and thought back to the Dude.  Actually the very photo I have in my avatar came to mind.

Not a big deal man.  I've got two days, we've got certain procedures that need to be followed, just means everyone else, by not telling me, needs to Abide by them faster. 

"But this has been planned for 3 weeks, why is it a problem now?"

"Because no one told me 3 weeks ago, if they had I would have given you all the information you need and it would have been done beforehand without a problem"

I honestly think the major thing that Dudeism is teaching me, is that just because something happens, or someone doesn't do what they're supposed to, it doesn't mean I have to go around and fix it and stress about getting it done.  I used to come in at 7:00am and not actually get to my office until 10:00 or 11:00am simply because I was running around defusing small situations and problems that everyone else had.  Then going to do my work, dealing with the problems and situations that I or my team had, then around 2:00 or 3:00pm beginning my actual daily workload. 

Everyone at work knows somethings different about me.  Most of the guys on my team are commenting how I look healthier.  I'm walking differently in the halls.  As one of my guys put it:

"You always used to be at a jog from one place to another. Dude's coming, get out of the way else he'll run you over.  Now you saunter"

It's not without it's trials though.  Seems there's a few around who wouldn't do portions of their jobs and were relying on me to pick up the slack.  I've added another phrase to my vocabulary that I honestly don't think I've ever used:

"That's not my department"

Twice I've been called on the carpet by my boss, asking why something isn't done.  Twice I've looked at him and told him, because it's not my job to do that.  Which, usually results in him stopping mid sentence, giving me a puzzled look and going through the files to say "Oh yeah, you aren't responsible for that..  You've just always given me the reports on it for some reason"

This Dude has Abided for a long time, in the thought that going above and beyond is what get's you ahead.  This Dude, after a pretty harsh life lesson, has learned that if you're not careful it get's you taken advantage of and will more then likely, earn you an early grave.

Almost was too late for me.  But hopefully another Dude in the world can read this and learn it sooner then I did.  There's multiple people as I look around my building, that come in, do what they have to, and leave.  There's no stigma on them.  They aren't slackers, their jobs aren't threatened, and when they leave they go home and don't think about the job until the alarm goes off in the morning.  Why can't I have that luxury?

I was dying to go to LebowskiFest this weekend to be honest, just to meet the likeminded.  Listen to those more experienced with the lifestyle then I am and get some pointers, tips and tricks.   I'm only an hour or so from NYC.  But I realized:

A: I hate New York City
B: It would mean going to the city

lol.  Seriously though maybe next year.  I only learned about LebowskiFest earlier this week so didn't have a chance to plan or arrange anything.

Instead I loaded up the car with a cooler, small pack of cold cuts and quick food, some beer, and my tent.  Hiked along the river awhile until I lost cell phone service, found a nice clearing, setup the tent and went fishing from Friday to Sunday.  Nice little mini-vacation which I think I'm going to do far more often. 

Quote from: This Dude Abides on April 23, 2013, 12:48:46 PM
Not a big deal man.  I've got two days, we've got certain procedures that need to be followed, just means everyone else, by not telling me, needs to Abide by them faster. 

So there you have it. 

Quote from: This Dude Abides on April 23, 2013, 12:48:46 PM
I honestly think the major thing that Dudeism is teaching me, is that just because something happens, or someone doesn't do what they're supposed to, it doesn't mean I have to go around and fix it and stress about getting it done.

I developed a mental habit in teaching my kids about problems and responsibilities: "Whose problem is it?". What I taught the young 'uns was that if it was their problem, they had to solve it. They could ask for help but they couldn't whine if the answer was no. They also had to understand that once they accepted responsibility for someone else's problem it became their own. It was one of those cases of the master becoming enlightened... My wife and I have a shorthand for knowing when to back away: NMP. Not My Problem. It works well.

Quote from: This Dude Abides on April 23, 2013, 12:48:46 PM
"That's not my department"

Rock on!

Quote from: This Dude Abides on April 23, 2013, 12:48:46 PM
This Dude has Abided for a long time, in the thought that going above and beyond is what get's you ahead.  This Dude, after a pretty harsh life lesson, has learned that if you're not careful it get's you taken advantage of and will more then likely, earn you an early grave.

Truth!

Quote from: This Dude Abides on April 23, 2013, 12:48:46 PM
Almost was too late for me.  But hopefully another Dude in the world can read this and learn it sooner then I did.

I had myself a similar experience. I was good at not stressing over the job, but the family thing? Forget about it. Damn near killed my wife as well as me. I got by without medical intervention, but my wife wasn't so lucky and our misdirected loyalty to family nearly killed her. She was left with PTSD, and the severe chronic stress exacerbated a congenital heart condition which had never before been problem enough to even warrant seeking medical attention. We're about a half-million into debt now because of it and don't dare to seek bankruptcy protection yet because she's at least one more surgery away from correction of the defect -- if we should for some reason lose our medical insurance we'd be just one more crisis away from permanently screwed. It sucks that we'll eventually have to seek bankruptcy protection, but we're not the ones who rigged the system so fuck 'em.

That whole experience taught me many things I'd rather have no need of knowing. It narrowed my focus to only that which is truly important. All the rest will get by without my help, or it won't, and either way it's NMP.

Quote from: RighteousDude on April 20, 2013, 10:20:01 PM

Quote from: Father Dude on April 20, 2013, 08:30:01 PM
I work in an Emergency Room. Let me tell you, those fascists are something else.

Hospitals are dens of evil. Apparently, in order to succeed in a career in a hospital you have to have a mental age of 12 and be mean as hell.

I'll never work healthcare again. It is a world of pain.

Quote from: Father Dude on April 23, 2013, 07:13:38 PM

Quote from: RighteousDude on April 20, 2013, 10:20:01 PM

Quote from: Father Dude on April 20, 2013, 08:30:01 PM
I work in an Emergency Room. Let me tell you, those fascists are something else.

Hospitals are dens of evil. Apparently, in order to succeed in a career in a hospital you have to have a mental age of 12 and be mean as hell.

I'll never work healthcare again. It is a world of pain.

At this point in life I am part of the nursing staff at a rural hospital. The people I work with are compassionate and have a desire to be part of the healing of human suffering. Same at the other 2 hospitals I have worked at. Problem is the people who go to college, get a 4 year BSN in Nursing, then immediately go to grad school and get an MA in Hospital Administration without ever spending a day working the floor as a real RN. They hear all the theories about minimizing expenses/staff in the MA program and they go to a real hospital and implement this shit and pretty soon the morale is in the toilet. People have a tendency to blame nurses but it is my belief that the problems start higher up the corporate ladder.

So, since I've begun this undertaking, I find myself with a problem that I haven't had in the past 12 years of my working career.  Working a 40 hour week, when I'm used to 80-105 hours, has left me with a lot of free time.  I honestly can say it's a nice problem to have, but I'm still not used to it.

So..  What to do?

I fish a lot now



Some TV with one of the most Dudest Dudes I know



And some quality time at the Shooting range.  I used to be a regular, honestly been over 2 years since I stepped foot in the place



Doing some Gardening as well.  Plan on doing some local sight seeing too.  Sleepy Hollow, headless horseman legend place, is close by, never actually been through that old cemetary.  It's odd though, at time I feel almost guilty that I'm enjoying myself so much..  Aww well, it passes quickly

Quote from: This Dude Abides on April 27, 2013, 04:28:05 PM
It's odd though, at time I feel almost guilty that I'm enjoying myself so much..  Aww well, it passes quickly

It's like the first time you have sex, man. At first you're all, "Gee, Mom, won't Dad be mad about this?", but then you just go with it. 

Quote from: RighteousDude on April 27, 2013, 04:43:29 PM

Quote from: This Dude Abides on April 27, 2013, 04:28:05 PM
It's odd though, at time I feel almost guilty that I'm enjoying myself so much..  Aww well, it passes quickly

It's like the first time you have sex, man. At first you're all, "Gee, Mom, won't Dad be mad about this?", but then you just go with it. 

Shit man you never said you was from Alabama.
Maybe you know my wife - I mean my sister - hell it's all the same thing.

Quote from: Boston Rockbury on April 27, 2013, 05:16:53 PM
Shit man you never said you was from Alabama.

Quote from: Boston Rockbury on April 27, 2013, 05:16:53 PM
Maybe you know my wife - I mean my sister - hell it's all the same thing.

My youngest child and my wife's youngest child, step-siblings that'd make 'em, are shacked up and bumping uglies. And they're stupid so it won't be long before she's knocked up. That poor fucking kid, man. "My dad's my uncle and my mom's my aunt."

Fuck, man. Just fuck. I dunno.

Quote from: This Dude Abides on April 27, 2013, 04:28:05 PMPlan on doing some local sight seeing too.  Sleepy Hollow, headless horseman legend place, is close by...

I'm going to try to head there this year. Part of my mother's family is from there. Never seen it in person.

From what I hear it's a cool place to go to in the fall.  They've got a recreation bridge from the headless horseman legend, there's some of the oldest head stones in America as well as some very famous dudes in that place.  Washington Irving and Thomas Watson of IBM come to mind

Quote from: RighteousDude on April 27, 2013, 06:39:15 PM

Quote from: Boston Rockbury on April 27, 2013, 05:16:53 PM
Shit man you never said you was from Alabama.

Quote from: Boston Rockbury on April 27, 2013, 05:16:53 PM
Maybe you know my wife - I mean my sister - hell it's all the same thing.

My youngest child and my wife's youngest child, step-siblings that'd make 'em, are shacked up and bumping uglies. And they're stupid so it won't be long before she's knocked up. That poor fucking kid, man. "My dad's my uncle and my mom's my aunt."

Fuck, man. Just fuck. I dunno.

It's easy to buy into social judgements, but there are no genetic issues because they aren't blood related, so it's their business. Not really anyone else's job to say who you should love and who you should be happy with. Am I wrong?

Quote from: Boston Rockbury on April 28, 2013, 05:20:00 AM
Am I wrong?

We were going along joking about inbreeding and so on, weren't we? That's the direction I was going, anyway. Could be I missed the turn and the parade went on without me while I look like a loon marching all alone down the center of Main Street.

The devil in the details would land the boy in jail for a good long time, but it still ain't nunna my bidness. I was joking about the kid who as far as I know ain't even conceived yet.

Sometimes a little mantra goes a long way towards improving the ole cognitive muscle memory when it comes to relaxing. Mine is, "what is, is and what isn't, isn't". If you repeat your mantra to yourself it can work wonders towards being more dude, and if you say it out loud it usually keeps the seat next to you free on public transit.

Quote from: RighteousDude on April 28, 2013, 12:30:03 PM

Quote from: Boston Rockbury on April 28, 2013, 05:20:00 AM
Am I wrong?

We were going along joking about inbreeding and so on, weren't we? That's the direction I was going, anyway. Could be I missed the turn and the parade went on without me while I look like a loon marching all alone down the center of Main Street.

The devil in the details would land the boy in jail for a good long time, but it still ain't nunna my bidness. I was joking about the kid who as far as I know ain't even conceived yet.

sure dude - i wasn't trying to be critical or nothing by the way. Seemed to be a serious sub-text to the humour and my training as a therapist got the better of me.

Psychobabble - it's a disease with no known cure and I got it bad! It was me marched off with the band playing in my own head

Quote from: Boston Rockbury on April 28, 2013, 01:17:37 PM
sure dude - i wasn't trying to be critical or nothing by the way.

No worries, man. I didn't take anything any particular way. 

Quote from: Boston Rockbury on April 28, 2013, 01:17:37 PM
Seemed to be a serious sub-text to the humour and my training as a therapist got the better of me.

Isn't there/shouldn't there be some kind of 12 step program or drug therapy for that shit? 

There is a serious subtext to it, but none of it's serious to me or to my wife. We've got a nice cruisin' kinda gig going on, and ain't nobody got time for dat.