uggabugga uggabugga
* * *

Author Topic: Should have taken your keys with you, man.  (Read 705 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Dudeist Monk

  • Dude
  • ***
  • Posts: 54
  • Easy does it.
Should have taken your keys with you, man.
« on: July 13, 2017, 07:50:38 AM »
So, bit of background. I live in a block of flats/apartments in a semi-rough area. In my time in this apartment I've had my fair share of, uh, shtuff happen. You know, the usual. Junkies shooting up outside my apartment door, jealous boyfriends trying to kick in my door (it was a case of mistaken identity, I swear! Never rub another man's rhubarb is how I roll), prostitutes soliciting door to door (I still jerk off manually) and homeless guys just trying to stay warm in winter ... etc. So, you get the idea. Open your door cautiously is what I'm saying.

Anyway, I come back into the main room after visiting the bathroom. The cat's going apeshit, my window is wide open and there's a hand grasping on the window frame. "What the fuck?!?" was the first thought and "Aw, hell no!" was the second. I get to the window and, I shit you not, a guy is hanging on the window frame in his underpants and wearing a blanket tied around his neck. Superman style.

...

Yeah. ???

Seeing me, he drops back down to the ground (My apartment is just slightly off ground level. The block is an old warehouse that's been converted).

"Sorry, mate, I was just trying to get in." He says.
"That's obvious." Says I.
"No, I mean, I was putting out my rubbish (trash to you yanks) and got locked out. Can you let me in?" He replies.

So, look, I may have been on the far end of the Walter Spectrum today. Some new shit had come to light, you know. But, I didn't know this guy from Adam (strangely enough, it later turns out he is called Adam, but that's beside the point). Never seen him in the communal areas, never seen him taking out the trash, never seen him coming or going. Past experience had shown that weird shit happens nine times out of ten in my area.

"Nah, man. Sorry, but I don't let people in the flats unless I know they live here." I said, apologetically.
"It's okay. I understand"

And he wanders around the corner. In his underpants. And his Superman blanket.

A minute or so later, my Dudeliness took more control and I thought, "Fuck it, man. He's in his fucking underpants!"

I rush out the front door (keys in hand. I'm not that fucking stupid) and try to find the guy. If he doesn't live here, I'll deal with that later. If he's a Superman themed murderer, I'll deal with that (I've watched Kung Fu. I get it. Carradine was the Boss).

Can't see him.

Look around. Nope. Can't see him.

"Oh fuck!" I hear from above me.

There's this guy. Two floors up holding on to a drainpipe with his blanket cape flapping in the breeze. Well, I say 'holding'. 'Desperately clinging' may be a more appropriate choice of words. Um, maybe he should have dressed like Spider-man instead? He was stuck. Terrified and could neither continue climbing up or climb down. The dumb fuck.

It just so happens that, at the point I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how to help this dumbass, two cops are driving by in a van, stop and start asking the serious questions.

"What the actual fuck?!?" Asks one cop while the other just shakes her head and starts calling in for the Fire Brigade/Department.

Long story made a little shorter, after two Fire engines (what do Americans call them? Appliances? Trucks? I don't know. Those big red fuckers with ladders on them) arrive and thirty minutes of persuasion and cajoling, the guys reaches the ground ... and promptly gets arrested. In his underpants and his Superman cape.

Before they took him away, I grabbed a pair of sweat pants, a t-shirt and an old pair of sneakers for the guy to wear in the cells.

Well, it was the least I could do after not letting him in, letting him get trapped two stories up and letting him get arrested.

 ???
« Last Edit: July 13, 2017, 07:52:20 AM by Dudeist Monk »
If at first you don't succeed ... Um ... Yeah. Whatever and stuff.

Dudeist Monk - Militant Inactivist.

BikerDude

  • Dude
  • ******
  • Posts: 3194
  • Time wounds all heels -John Lennon
Re: Should have taken your keys with you, man.
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2017, 03:42:19 PM »
Sound reasoning Dude!
Never trust a anyone in underpants and a blanket cape.

Out here we are all his children

Dudeist Monk

  • Dude
  • ***
  • Posts: 54
  • Easy does it.
Re: Should have taken your keys with you, man.
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2017, 04:31:58 PM »
Thanks, man. I've been deeply conflicted about the whole thing all day. It has seriously harshed my mellow. And there's no damn bowling alley nearby so I can't even fuck it and go bowling!
If at first you don't succeed ... Um ... Yeah. Whatever and stuff.

Dudeist Monk - Militant Inactivist.

BikerDude

  • Dude
  • ******
  • Posts: 3194
  • Time wounds all heels -John Lennon
Re: Should have taken your keys with you, man.
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2017, 08:29:03 AM »
Hey man don't sweat it.
You can't let these nihilists mess with you.
It's about drawing a line in the sand.
Across this line you shall not... and Dude fire engine is the preferred uh...
« Last Edit: July 14, 2017, 08:30:51 AM by BikerDude »

Out here we are all his children

jgiffin

  • Dude
  • ******
  • Posts: 723
Re: Should have taken your keys with you, man.
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2017, 12:10:01 AM »
Man, that's a great story. It almost makes me miss living in the ghetto. Almost. I'm not fucking crazy. Not going back there.

The last straw was having a dream where gunshots were fired outside my bedroom window. My apartment was right next to, but elevated above, the  building's back entrance. When I went out to my car the next morning, I saw like three or four shell casings on the stoop. Fuuuuck that.

Dudeist Monk

  • Dude
  • ***
  • Posts: 54
  • Easy does it.
Re: Should have taken your keys with you, man.
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2017, 05:26:57 AM »
Well, I'm in the UK so guns are rare. I reckon, if they weren't rare, there'd more than a few gunshots around here, though. Like I say, this area is semi-rough. I've lived in worse areas and I'm certain there are areas far, far more rough than the places I've lived. :-/

Still haven't seen the guy since. I wonder if he's in custody "for his own protection"?
If at first you don't succeed ... Um ... Yeah. Whatever and stuff.

Dudeist Monk - Militant Inactivist.

Dudette222

  • Amateurs
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • The dude abides 👐
Re: Should have taken your keys with you, man.
« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2017, 12:22:16 AM »
Dude if they arrested him then he obviously doesn't live in your flats! Your gut instinct was right. If he had got into your place, he would have definitely peed on your rug.
The dudette abides 👐

Dudeist Monk

  • Dude
  • ***
  • Posts: 54
  • Easy does it.
Re: Should have taken your keys with you, man.
« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2017, 05:09:37 AM »
Yeah. That would have been a real bummer. There's no Big Lebowski for me to get restitution from if that had happened.
If at first you don't succeed ... Um ... Yeah. Whatever and stuff.

Dudeist Monk - Militant Inactivist.

 

Recent Posts

Big Blather Box

Last 50 Shouts:

Richardwam

Today at 04:38:21 PM
Pick & Odds for New England Patriots vs Oakland Raiders ...
The Westgate Las Vegas Superbook has published their latest NFL Advanced Betting

RobertFet

Today at 04:27:59 PM
Практически все замужние женщины имеют тайное же

DonaldLam

Today at 04:10:47 PM
Каркасная конструкция имеет негативное свойств&#

GordonDuafe

Today at 03:43:28 PM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

Anthonynic

Today at 02:11:17 PM
buy online prescription drugs
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">northwest pharmacy</a>
 
prescription drugs without doctor approval
 
canadian online pharmacies

Charlesbiown

Today at 01:04:23 PM
Данные вредные привычки увеличивают возраст моз&

Anthonynic

Today at 12:39:15 PM
buy prescription drugs online
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">Jerrymatry</a>
 
canada drug pharmacy
 
canadian online pharmacies

Anthonynic

Today at 11:07:36 AM
mexican pharmacies online
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian pharmacy</a>
 
mexican pharmacies online
 
canadian online pharmacies

Jamaalceacy

Today at 10:14:46 AM
Faucet DarkNet Bitcoin
Welcome to DarkNet faucet!
Claim 30-999 satoshi every 20 minutes!
http://faucet.darknets.info
Faucet DarkNet...
 
Our project proposes to earn Bitcoin Crypto currency without attachments. Get Satoshi at any time convenie

Kamorkaset

Today at 10:08:35 AM
Classic 70 Porn Video , gaping fuck hole video free euro porn video .
Hot Mature Homemade Porn Toilet  - free movie girl fucked by college campus sex video porn movie ass squirting .
Sex Machine Syblian Movie  free sex movie and adult movie husband lets friends fuck wife classic interracial movi

Anthonynic

Today at 09:35:13 AM
online pharmacy no prescription needed
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian drugs</a>
 
prescription online
 
page

Robertjar

Today at 08:33:27 AM
Professional promotion in Instagram
What we want to say ? our competences and experience are in demand by most of existing societies and organizations. Why? Because we understand their target and are on the same line with them.
And frankly speaking, what is the target of each business? Exactly r

Anthonynic

Today at 08:01:58 AM
prescription cost
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian pharmacy</a>
 
canadian drugs
 
canadian pharmacy

Derekvap

Today at 07:30:07 AM
плитка каменный цветок пол 33х33 керамическая плитк&#1

Anthonynic

Today at 06:27:56 AM
drugs for sale
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian pharmacy</a>
 
canadian pharmacy no prescription
 
canadian online pharmacies

GordonDuafe

Today at 05:07:36 AM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

RandyPig

Today at 05:03:10 AM
super p force аптека super p force аптека

Anthonynic

Today at 04:52:58 AM
canadian pharmacy viagra brand
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian online pharmacies</a>
 
costco pharmacy pricing
 
northwest pharmacy

RobertFet

Today at 03:49:14 AM
Практически все замужние женщины имеют тайное же

Anthonynic

Today at 03:16:58 AM
canadian prescription
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian pharmacy</a>
 
canada drugs pharmacy
 
canadian online pharmacies

Harryyhor

Today at 01:56:32 AM
Афинитор (Эверолимус) 5 мг №30, таблетки Afinitor (Everolimus) 5 mg №30 Cтоимос&#109

Anthonynic

Today at 01:41:53 AM
canadian pharmacy viagra
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian pharmacies online prescriptions
</a>
 
canada pharmacies
 
canada drug

RobertFet

Today at 12:31:17 AM
Практически все замужние женщины имеют тайное же

RobertFet

Today at 12:30:35 AM
Практически все замужние женщины имеют тайное же

Anthonynic

Today at 12:07:05 AM
best canadian prescription prices
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian online pharmacies</a>
 
buy prescription drugs without doctor
 
canadian online pharmacies

RobertFet

November 18, 2017, 11:44:34 PM
Практически все замужние женщины имеют тайное же

Conradlut

November 18, 2017, 11:20:37 PM
Delivering instant total satisfaction, manufactured curly hair hairpieces Wigs
 occur able to put on. Previously tinted and also created, man made locks offers what specialists' refer to as 'memory', meaning the particular hairpiece holds it's shape following getting [

Anthonynic

November 18, 2017, 10:30:09 PM
canadian pharmacy reviews
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian pharmacies shipping to usa</a>
 
canadian prescription drugs
 
canadian online pharmacies

AngelGet

November 18, 2017, 10:17:46 PM
Longchamp Tas Voor School
 You may recognize asthma attack by its signs and symptoms, including wheezing, shallow inhaling, tightness from the torso and hacking and coughing. An symptoms of asthma assault might be triggered

AndrewKniff

November 18, 2017, 09:31:00 PM
Привет! класный у вас сайт!
Зацените, нашёл супер ба

GordonDuafe

November 18, 2017, 09:04:57 PM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

Anthonynic

November 18, 2017, 08:55:28 PM
drugs without prescription
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian pharmacy</a>
 
canada pharmacies online pharmacy
 
canadian drugs

Charlesbiown

November 18, 2017, 08:37:19 PM
Данные вредные привычки увеличивают возраст моз&

Ramonmup

November 18, 2017, 07:59:45 PM
Здравствуйте!
Нашел Интересные новости на этом с&#10

Harryyhor

November 18, 2017, 07:33:08 PM
Zelboraf 240mg  Cтоимость, цена, купить, отзывы, отзывы пациентов

Anthonynic

November 18, 2017, 07:20:26 PM
canadian drug store
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian pharmacies shipping to usa</a>
 
prescription drugs online without
 
canadian pharmacies shipping to usa

GordonDuafe

November 18, 2017, 07:14:15 PM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

GordonDuafe

November 18, 2017, 07:13:36 PM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

GordonDuafe

November 18, 2017, 06:47:11 PM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

RobertFet

November 18, 2017, 06:15:08 PM
Практически все замужние женщины имеют тайное же

Anthonynic

November 18, 2017, 05:48:51 PM
prescription drugs without doctor approval
 
<a href="http://canadianpharmaciesbnt.com/">canadian online pharmacies</a>
 
canadian pharmacy without prescription
 
canadian pharmacies shipping to usa

MacadNus

November 18, 2017, 05:48:11 PM
Become to start now a new UCOINCASH ICO (UCH) at November 15 - https://goo.gl/PHN9oc
 
UcoinCash (UCH) is another Lending of the crypto currency, which will attempt to replicate the success of BitConnect.
ICO will be held from November 15 to December 15, 2017.
On December 16, the internal Uco

RobertFet

November 18, 2017, 05:34:17 PM
Практически все замужние женщины имеют тайное же

RobertFet

November 18, 2017, 05:09:42 PM
Практически все замужние женщины имеют тайное же

CharlesHenia

November 18, 2017, 04:58:19 PM
Please delete this post.

Dennismen

November 18, 2017, 03:31:05 PM
Привет всем участникам форума! класный у вас сайт!
&

GordonDuafe

November 18, 2017, 03:19:43 PM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

GordonDuafe

November 18, 2017, 02:50:06 PM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

Richardbiche

November 18, 2017, 02:37:25 PM
Здравствуйте! класный у вас сайт!
Зацените, нашёл с&

GordonDuafe

November 18, 2017, 02:32:50 PM
Люди всегда были склонны к тому, чтобы фантазиров&#107

Show 50 latest

Store

Dude Vinci
Get Dudeism tee shirts, ordination certificates and more. Help feed our monkey.
Click Here

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
November 19, 2017, 04:48:48 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Recently Posted

Thanksgiving
Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 52303
  • Total Topics: 5972
  • Online Today: 66
  • Online Ever: 378
  • (May 10, 2017, 05:23:00 PM)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 63
Total: 64

Like the Dudeism forum?


Or use this button: