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Author Topic: I could use some different perspectives on this one dudes...  (Read 2289 times)

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BrotherShamus

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I could use some different perspectives on this one dudes...
« on: November 06, 2013, 01:29:32 AM »
I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I'm in something of a pickle...

I've been really hitting off with this girl I like, but there's just one problem... The thing is, I smoke pot quite often. I find it very stimulating, but this chick I've been talking to recently told me that she's in Narcotics Anonymous. She can't be around that sort of thing, she says, and is not sure whether or not it would create a gap between us.

I definitely don't want to change my lifestyle; I dig it. But I would never want to do anything to make her uncomfortable in the drug-related sense. She's never said flat out that she wouldn't want me to smoke, but she never said she was cool with it either...

I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of posting this... just figured I'd put it out there. Its not necessarily a huge struggle in my life (gotta keep on abidin) but I'd interested in hearing some thoughts. especially from folks of the Dudely persuasion.
"Be excellent to each other"             

LotsaBadKarma

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Re: I could use some different perspectives on this one dudes...
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2013, 12:04:03 PM »
With regard to drug use Doug Stanhope theorizes that there is no such thing as addiction, there are just things that you enjoy doing more than life. Of course, he said that with regard to the passing of Mitch Hedberg due to the use of heroin. The connection, though, is the priorities assigned to smoking pot and this new girl. Is the smoking something that you enjoy more than her company? Or is a relationship with her more important than the occasional doob? Because anyone who is in NA, at some point, is going to have an issue with the smoking provided she has no intention of going back to drug use.

I'm thinking that it is more important to have a circle of people who share like interests and to select a potential mate from that circle. That way there are less possibilities of conflicts at a later time and you don't have to change who you are to please someone else. I've never really thought about this with regard to drug use, it's always been about things like golf or camping or some other type of activity. Like if I like backpacking and camping and I get into a relationship with a girl who hates the outdoors because she doesn't like bugs at some point she may want me to give up my outdoor interests because it interferes with the relationship. There we have a conflict. So when we alter that theory from backpacking with a girl who hates the outdoors to smoking weed while in a relationship with a girl who is in NA you can see the potential for conflict.

But that's just, like, my opinion, man.

BrotherShamus

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Re: I could use some different perspectives on this one dudes...
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2013, 02:11:31 PM »
Yeah it's a weird dynamic for sure. Its not that she hates it, or thinks its immoral or anything; she just can't do it. And if I went through with this, I wouldn't smoke around her, but its not something one can tiptoe around forever. All of my friends smoke and/or drink, so its gonna be around at some point...

A touchy subject indeed...
"Be excellent to each other"             

 

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