The Dudeism Forum

A newer skater on my roller derby team is really testing my dudeliness.

She has a lot of raw talent and will be a great skater some day. She is still very green but she thinks that she is the best thing to happen to our team in a long time.

She talks shit about other skaters skills (me included) behind their back which is totally uncool man.

She made our nationally ranked travel team in a very short amount of time but constantly complains that she doesn't get enough play time.

Our last game on Saturday was a real nail biter. We were down a few points near the end and she went in and caught it up. I went in and scored another 9 points and we won the game. I have been playing with this team for over a year now and we have never won a game. That moment of us winning our first game was amazing. I was so happy and proud of my team.

Last night at practice is when she really started to get to me. She kept giving me shit but I just kept skating. We were talking on the sidelines about the last jam and then she said, "Wasn't that awesome on Saturday when I got the score caught up and then you came in and stole the show?" I was really taken aback and didn't know how to react. I have been the main jammer (point scorer) on this team for awhile now and I have never been a show boater or a cocky asshole like some girls. I was jumping up and down at the end of the game because my team finally won a game. A single person does not win for their team.

I am one of many people that are having a hard time with this girl. I am pretty good at just blocking people out and letting the good times roll but this girl is on all 3 teams that I am. I need her to be our team mate and stop skating as an individual.

I would love any advice on how to deal with this shit. 

Sorry that this post wasn't really into the whole brevity thing.

Dude, have you ever told her about this shit? Fuck man, this kind of shit starts and stops with communication, man! I mean, miscommunication can really make the plane crash into the mountain as the fellow says.
She probably doesn't even notice her being wrong.
You should start the conversation being positive to her. Compliment her on her skating and stuff, you know. After that you tell her that new shit has come to light, and tell her about the problems she is causing you and the team!
It takes a little courage, but hey, life's strikes and gutters man! And if this doesn't help, just say 'fuck it' and go bowling.

Pax et Bonum!

Or you could ask her if she's envious of your johnson. 
If she thinks of herself as an achiever and all the others are bums you should also be pretty careful about mugs thrown at you. Does she has Achiever tattooed on her forehead?
But if you really want to solve the situation any time she tells you something do what the Dude would do, have a big smile and say: "Sorry, I wasn't listening." Maybe she will understand. 

figure out what she is after.

does she want to be liked, have friends, have ass-kissers?
does she want to be right?
does she need to be the boss/bully? (this one you stand up to and deflate the whole thing)

When you figure out what she wants, you can decide to give it or make it impossible to get.

Man, she is, like, out of her element. She needs to realize this affects all of us, man. Mark it 8, fire a jay and let the machine get it while you soak in Mr. Bubble. Fuck it, man.

So, Hawaian Punch,
Did it work? Is she still pissing your rug and out of her element? Keep us up to date man!

You could just abide.

Genrally these type of people show themselves to be the worthless individuals that they are, eventually.

In fact it's you that is giving her power by being affected by her. You don't annoy her she annoys you, you spend time thinking about what she did wrong.

I have always disliked football (sorry "soccer" to the US brothers and sisters). From the time I was a kid I saw it as the ultimate arena for showboaters and egotists, all wanting to be the one scoring, allways yelling because you didn't pas to them.

So what do I do about it? I don't fucking play the game.

If someone or something is displacing your calm, step away from it.

stop making her so important to yourself and you will soon see that she is not that much of a problem.

Fuckin' A

Sorry I haven't replied. Life happens. And once again. I probably won't be real keen on the whole brevity thing. But wow man. Thank you all so much for the fucking rock star advice. I knew there was a reason why I discovered this forum and Dudeism. You all brought the shit that I needed to hear to light.

I spoke with my co-captian of the Danger Dolls (one of our two home teams) and we decided that we should talk to her because she was bringing bad vibes to our very peaceful, friendly, humble. However, we learned that we were not the only people having problems with her. So we both were stoked that we could take the dudely approach and let it be the problem of the captains of the 2 other teams and our grievance committee if need be.

I personally have tried to take the approach of trying to get along with her because she is on 3 of my teams. I will say that it is hard and I have to distance myself from her frequently because almost all of the shit that spills from her mouth makes me want to flip shit and punch her in the throat. However, this isn't fucking Nam. There are rules and I am no longer that person thankfully. Instead, I have started to spurt the first dudely mantra that comes to my mind. For instance, actual conversation from practice tonight. FYI It was 2 on 1. I was jamming (trying to score points) against two girls, 1 being her, with no assisting blockers. 

Alpha- It took you a long time to get through the pack there.

Me- You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon. With nail polish. Fucking amateurs...

She looked at me like I was fucking crazy and just that little Walter tidbit helped me push aside her douchiness. And the first rule of roller derby is Don't Be A Douchebag, man.

Thanks again everyone. The advice was far fucking out! I need to get my ass in the tub with a j to heal tonight's wounds from practice. Peace! 

Well, that's another problem solved by dudeism, man! Far fucking out!
Also a good thing you let yourself be inspired by Walter, and you didn't even use the "pour a piece out on the lanes and have her enter a world of pain' technique! Fucking A!!!
Take er easy, man.

That is excellent.

Good Dudeist mantra.

I wish that I could be dudely 100% of the time. I have been working on my discipline, but I am just going to bring out Walter when I need to bring out Walter.

Yeah, that's life man, jing and jang, strikes and gutters, ups and downs man. But the more you focus on the teachings of the dude, the more Dudley you get. Maybe try some dudeitation once in a while, helps me far fucking out.
Take er easy man.

Quote from: HawaiianPUNCH on February 19, 2010, 06:10:45 AM
I wish that I could be dudely 100% of the time. I have been working on my discipline, but I am just going to bring out Walter when I need to bring out Walter.

That's the balance we're all trying to hit, but it is more healthy to let the Walter out once in a while rather than suppress him so much you become mentally ill. 

I agree with Meekon here, man, just don't flash a piece out!