The Dudeism Forum

I notice that my "heroes" (Dude being the big one, but also Peter from Office Space and generally any centered, chill, mellow, go-with-the-flow, enjoy life type)
don't seem to really FEEL much of anything.

I sometimes wonder if my aspirations to be more Dudeish every day spawn from not wanting to FEEL. The bad stuff, anyways...but also the good stuff, passion, excitement, inspiration...those can also be exhausting)

In deep meditation I've felt, right to my bones and all thru myself, that nothing really matters. Not that its not important, it is, of course, it's all part of the adventure, but in the end, nothing was ever wrong, everything was ok.And of course one of my bigger lessons was to LET GO, trust that karma, The Flow, whathaveyou, will take care of the details...this always proves true. And when it comes to other people, sometimes a bit of grim satisfaction comes from seeing how things work themselves out (if they were a reactionary in my life)

I wonder which has more influence over my general life-outlook and Dudeish ambitions.

No feelings is as bad as too much or too strong feelings. Being in the middle usually is always the best thing. You know, equilibrium, harmony, and so on.

Quote from: Whiteheart on October 04, 2009, 12:52:11 AM

I sometimes wonder if my aspirations to be more Dudeish every day spawn from not wanting to FEEL.

In deep meditation I've felt, right to my bones and all thru myself, that nothing really matters. Not that its not important, it is, of course, it's all part of the adventure,

If I understand correctly you're anxious over how these two motivations/understandings affect your Dudeist chill.

Well, I'd say the two are very connected. I think feelings can only be aroused about things we care about. I think part of the Dude's charm is that he seems to know what matters. It's not that he has no feelings. He has outbursts and such. But if he starts getting angry over something irrelevant he can step back and say "fuck it" its not worth getting all worked up over. He seems aggravated when the Big L goes into his "bums will always lose" monologue but he can just shut it out because he knows that ultimately it doesn't really matter what the Big L thinks.

So if I understand correctly you're flirting with nihilism here. To feel nothing would be to believe that nothing matters. This is what you feel in your meditation. I think you're right. But I also think that it's impossible for us to live believing nothing matters and feeling nothing. It's just not how we're wired. We have to care. It's a cruel paradox but I think once we acknowledge it we can gain control over it. We can't control our feelings all the time but we can choose the things we allow to influence our feelings. I guess what I'm saying is that the Dude has feelings but he acknowledges that some things don't matter and he doesn't let these things influence his feelings too much. I think that's a pretty good way to do things.

I hope that makes at least a little bit of sense

Yes, and thanks for the reply.

When I said in meditation I am aware that nothing "matters"...it's more like...I am able to see a much, much bigger picture, and I can see how all of life's little foibles (and big ones) were all perfectly perfect and would have been perfectly perfect no matter how we dealt with them; or what choices we made.

I don't have a lack of feelings, per se, just be mean to my kid and watch the passionate leo mama rip your freakin' head off.

And then declare forcibly: "next time just take it easy, MAN. stay away from my special kid."

But I definitely have an emotional "cap" so to speak, about most everything. Some of my friends have actually become annoyed with me, over the fact that very little offends me. Some just can't understand that.

It's a profound conundrum inherent in being human that "feeling deeply" might make life feel more profound, but also more painful and ultimately distressing. but it may all come down to the vague definition of "feeling." i find that meditation doesn't make me feel less necessarily, only that it makes me feel subtler emotions that are often drowned out by fear, jealousy, joy, cockiness, and all the other extreme (and often destructive) emotions.

when i stop and create a bit of silence in my head, i can sense a lot more are are the subtle beauties of the world, the simpler ones. the smaller parts of the world seem to rush over to you like long-neglected kittens.

i used to be very into meditation when i was younger and confused about the world and anxious about my place in it. it really helped. but then i got older and content for a long time and stopped doing it.

after that long and stable period i'm now going through some difficult times again and the good thing about it is that it's steered me back to my meditation practice.

the timing is perfect - as i'm about to dive in to expanding the practical applications of dudeism, notably regular meditative practices. plus it's increasing my levels of compassion which i hadn't realized had dipped a bit. and compassion is arguably the most profound "feeling" of all.

the universe is funny like that. sometimes when it kicks your ass, it kicks you in the direction you need to go.

Quote from: forumdude on October 05, 2009, 06:54:42 AM
the universe is funny like that. sometimes when it kicks your ass, it kicks you in the direction you need to go.

The Tao of the Dude, don't fight against it. I'd moved away from Taoism for a while (or thought I had) then was dragged back through the Lebowski. But previously I could be having a conversation with someone and they would quote the Tao Te Ching to me. I think Crowley said something along the lines of a certain path once stepped upon is never left no matter how hard you try.

"Sometimes when it kicks your ass, it kicks you in the direction you need to go."

This is very good, and really true, only that at times we are aware of this after a while. Life is strange, but life is great.

It's not that they don't have feelings, the are feeling them, it's just that they are internally balanced and that gives them an unbreakable cool. 

Far out.

Quote from: RevWade on November 09, 2009, 12:20:05 PM
It's not that they don't have feelings, the are feeling them, it's just that they are internally balanced and that gives them an unbreakable cool. 

that is totally me. far fuckin' out, man. 

Livin' close to nature will do that for you, I recommend it to any Dude, regardless of sex, or the lack thereof!

Far out again. 

Quote from: Elbowski on November 10, 2009, 11:16:03 AM
Livin' close to nature will do that for you, I recommend it to any Dude, regardless of sex, or the lack thereof!

I usually get that way when I go out to my farm without my younger sisters.  those two are a couple of fucking nihlists...

you haves a problem with nihilists?

It may be somewhat based on your personality type also.  Some people are naturally more intense, and it shows outwardly.  I'm not.  I'm usually pretty calm.  Some people think I don't feel much, not really true.  I just deal with it differently.