The Dudeism Forum

I just noticed that my last two (and only) posts were me asking you Dudes for advice. Instead of just being a human paraquat, I thought I'd offer some things I've learned over the last couple of years, and hopefully you might get something out of it, and if not, that's cool too.

I had known about Dudeism for a while, and even had myself ordained a while back ago, but it always sat on the back burner in my mind, so to speak. But suddenly, I began to personally implode. Right when I was about to break, I sat down and read my copy of The Abide Guide, and suddenly I realized that my thinking about my life had been really uptight. So I decided that I can't have this kind of stress in my life anymore, and decided to just say "fuck it, can't be worried about that shit, life goes on man".

Look at me, I'm rambling again.

To get to the point, over the last couple of years, I learned from a couple of people a couple techniques. The first technique I like to use is called the the 'fuck it adjustment'. It's really simple and basic. If you feel like something in your life is causing you undue stress or anxiety, you say 'fuck it'. Simple. You adjust how much things in your life affect your attitude towards life.

Going to your room is another technique I learned. I learned this from an improv teacher. Basically, when you're about to go on stage to perform, you step back for a couple of seconds and close your eyes. When you close your eyes, imagine being in a room with things that make you at peace. Be it songs that chill you out, images that chill you out, or simply imagine yourself chilling on your bed, listening to some tunes or reading a book. You can use this in any situation you find yourself in. If you find yourself stressing out, you step back, a few deep breathes, tell yourself "go to your room".

These techniques didn't make all my stress go away (you can't be alive without some form of stress, if you never get stressed out, you're probably a sociopath ahahaha), we all have stress, it's just how you deal with it that makes the difference, and these two techniques I use make dealing with stress and anxiety much more bearable.

Anyways, I'm talking too much without much point to it, just though I'd share this with ya'll

Much appreciated, dude. Your description of the "room adjustment" reminded me of the Penguin scene from Fight Club. Way too much stuff reminds me of that movie, though. Probably something vaguely pathological in that. Don't go digging in a cemetery, I say.

Anyway, no worries on the advice thing: that's what the well-adjusted here are for. The rest of us (e.g., me) just listen in, nod our heads, and occasionally stumble into a drunken profundity.

Thanks for sharing Jianblade. That's fucking interesting man.

Dudeism is definitely a journey with a lot of ups and downs, strikes and gutters. I've been also practicing for about 2 years now and in my experience, there are two "traps" that I've fell in in my journey and that take practice to avoid.

The first trap is to be too "serious" about the whole thing. I find that as soon as I try too hard to be Dude, I get more uptight and it just doesn't work. It's really about letting go and saying fuck it.

The second trap on the other hand has been to "fall" too easily into being The Dude. I feel like sometimes it's easy to fall into a sense of complacency with Dudeism and to avoid taking responsibility for one's life by just lounging on the couch and drinking caucasians. I think real peace of mind comes with the ability not only to say "fuck it" to what life throws in your way, but also be able to say "go fuck yourself" to someone who offends you without flashing a piece à la Walter.

Would be good to hear your thoughts fellas.

Dudov

Thanks man, that's some good advice. I'm new ish to Dudeism, however my family and what have you has always said I'm so laid back I'm horizontal. Just don't push my buttons or piss on my rug! It's this Walterness that I'm looking to tame.

For many years I've used the "Fuck it" technique  as well as the "Somebody else's problem" technigue whereas if it doesn't affect me or change my life any, then it is somebody else's problem. I'm coming to realize that this maybe a bit undude and maybe selfish to an extent, but in times of external uptightness it serves a purpose.

And my own personal room, that I have built I could describe in every detail. I built it for meditation and escapeism and I can't endorse it enough. Most call it their happy place.

Every little helps to keep the mind limber and an inner peace.
Sometimes it takes a reminder like this to bring you pack to the path. Today I had a pretty bad Walter moment at work and things got uptight in my head, but being reminded of these techniques was most welcome.

Dude that's some good stuff!  I especially like how you acknowledge that it doesn't fix everything and there's always some stress.

The biggest thing lately I've had to say "fuck it" to is feeling guilty for not saying "fuck it" effectively enough.  I watched TBL again recently and something that stuck out at me this last viewing was when the dude's sitting at the bar and he snaps at walter and donny causing them to leave... the shot lingers on his face the whole time he's  waiting for his next drink and you can just see how much he's struggling to abide.  He wants to let it all go and he wants not to have to worry about his rug or that poor woman or his chonsson... but it's kicking his ass.  He struggles internally for a good long while and then the stranger shows up and asks how he's doing.

and he concedes, "Not too good man". 

It's ok not to feel good sometimes... sometimes you just need to wait it out... it won't last forever. That's what I got out of it anyway.

QuoteWhen you close your eyes, imagine being in a room with things that make you at peace.

I tried those famous palm trees and sunny meadows this way and I felt a bit silly so perhaps my own room would be better instead.