The Dudeism Forum

  This weekend I was over a dude's pad that I went to fucking high school with. The poor fucking soul had never seen the Big Lebowski. So, being a preacher of Dudeism, upon hearing that my buddy had never seen the flick, I ran out to my car (I keep a copy in my ride because I have a DVD player in it) and grabbed the DVD and tossed it in his player, cranked up the sounds and kicked back for yet another episode of sharing dudeism with another fellow human being.

My buddy was floored, commented over and over again that the Big Lebowski was as funnny as hell, and that he had no idea that it was A GREAT FLICK! Well, fuck me, I thought, you can't go on with a great movie without beer and fucking nachos, so we paused the DVD, grabbed my car keys and headed to the local convenience store for our beer and nachos. Back at his pad...after about 4 beers each, a bit buzzed, the horrible, the unimaginable, the worse happened...

I almost killed my fucking buddy...here we are sitting in front of the tube when good ole' Walter decides on "plan B," heads outside from Little Larry's pad as he loudly announces...

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY, WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY, WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY...

My buddy fucking lost it, man. I mean he started laughing like a fucking wild man, only to gag on his fucking beer. It was a sight to see, man. Beer coming out of his nose, mouth, damn near his fucking ears!!  Gaging, hacking, coughing, more gaging...jesus! What was I to do?!! It took damn near 10 minutes for the poor fuck to get his shit together and stop choking!!!

I would have felt pretty fucking low if I had killed the poor slob when all I was doing was passing on the tenets of dudeism to a long and trusted buddy. Fuck me!

Caution! Dudes and Dudettes, you gotta be careful when sharing such a powerful faith, man!

Fortunately, my buddy still abides and has purchased his own copy of the Big Lebowski.

Oh yeah, and he did get to keep his soiled undies. 

"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes the beer shoot out your nose."
--Deep Thoughts, Jack Handey

Your friend reached beervana. That must be exhausting.

Congrats on converting another soul to the faith! You're a true dudevangelist.

This is the Power of the Dude....

And also John Goodman is a funny motherfucker man.

I hope the beer didn't soil his rug

Hello!  Do you speak English?  Parla usted Inglese?  I'll say it again.  Did I spray beer through my nose on your rug?

  ......We're talking about unchecked oat soda aggression, here, dudes...ACROSS THIS NOSE, YOU DO NOT...!!!!


............careful, there's a beverage here, man!

Another Caucasian, Gary.

Quote from: Dude1967 on August 15, 2008, 03:11:46 PM
Another Caucasian, Gary.

Friends like these, a dude who squirts beer out of his nose, huh Dude1967.

When i was a child a friend of mine "spray" the soup from his nose 
Was a  filthiness but...
This is what happens when you DON'T TAKE A REST AFTER LUNCH, Larry.

Get your diapers on, you're going to watch "the Big Lebowski" for the first time in your life.

What happened to your face?  Did Jackie Beerhorn do that as well?

Quote from: digitalbuddha on August 16, 2008, 12:46:45 AM

Quote from: Dude1967 on August 15, 2008, 03:11:46 PM
Another Caucasian, Gary.

Friends like these, a dude who squirts beer out of his nose, huh Dude1967.

You said it, man.  Nobody fucks with nasal beer spray.

Jesus!

Quote from: digitalbuddha on August 24, 2008, 04:15:21 PM
Jesus!

You said it, man.  Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

And let me tell you something, pendejo, you spray a beer out of your nose  out on the lanes...,