The Dudeism Forum

Yesterday I started my first lesson in abiding during tough times.  My brother passed away in a car accident and it hasn't been easy obviously.  I'm pretty new to the dudeist philosophy and find great comfort with this community overall just from how open most of you guys seem.  If any of you have tips to help this duder abide in these dark times, I'm welcome to hear them

What I found really is helping me is meditate relax and really take er easy but I do not morn the ones that have passed on for they now have a better view of the hole darn human comedy I celebrate the life they did have and remember then that way as a Dudeist Reverend I have done weddings and I have only had to see over one loss of life that of my two year old nd well I am still working my way on in having to do that I will never do a funeral I only offer doing celebration of life ceremony's for death should not be mourned the life they lived should be celebrated its in this opinion of my mind I can keep abiding until my big exit comes in to play

Rev, thanks a lot for that.  That really does make sense.  Like I said I'm pretty new to this and wanted to hear how some of the other dudeists marched on after tragic events. Thanks for that awesome take man.

Quote from: jaholbrook4455 on July 18, 2012, 03:02:20 PM
Yesterday I started my first lesson in abiding during tough times.  My brother passed away in a car accident and it hasn't been easy obviously.  I'm pretty new to the dudeist philosophy and find great comfort with this community overall just from how open most of you guys seem.  If any of you have tips to help this duder abide in these dark times, I'm welcome to hear them

Welcome to our beach community, jaholbrook, grab your place on the rug, crack open an oat soda and abide. Sorry to hear about your brother, dude-like sympathies your way, dude.

Thanks digitalbuddha

Sorry to hear of your loss dude...please feel free to vent here if it will help.
Not sure where you live...so don't know if it's legal...but perhaps a J or two will help ease the pain?

Thank you dude.  I really dig that you guys don't look down on venting.

Condolences, bro. This is a harsh time. May the universe form a papasan chair to help ease your journey.

Zim dude thanks a lot brother. It's been a trial for sure but I'm pulling through it.  I have to say that everyone that I have talked to on here is awesome!  We all may not view things exactly the same but everyone has been very accepting and badass.

Ahhhh dude I missed this post.

Sorry to hear about your loss. Really really sorry man.

Try to abide....

Peace and love to you.

Thanks CaesarDude.  I have enjoyed very much other conversations with you dude.

Peace to you and your brother rev. I find comfort in something that the dudely lama said in the abide guide to the effect of, we are all just the liquid of life poured from one container into another. Keep abiding brother.

Dude, that is probably the best thing I have heard yet.  Thank you so much man.

Having a brother myself I can't imagine losing, I'm really sorry for your loss man. All I can add is try to remember and celebrate his life, and take comfort in the fact that you shared the times you had together. Have a caucasian, but drink to remember, not to forget if you know what I mean. Peace to you man.

I don't really have any advice, but I can add a few things. The first year is going to be tough as hell, dude. It'll be the first of everything without him. But try not to avoid thinking about things like first Christmas without him, first New Year's without him, and so on. Own it. As Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön said, when you fall you're in one of the most powerful times of your life. If you try to avoid thinking about him during those times, you're going to delay the inevitable. Cry, yell, get pissed, get happy, get sad, do whatever your heart is telling you to do because as long as you feel, he's still in your heart.

If you feel down, think of two things: what would your brother tell you to do, and then realize if you're down, you can only go up.

When my dad died, it was tough. I'm his youngest son and we had gone through a lot of shit. Now I look back and remember all the good things he said and did. It will hurt forever, but you'll get through it. That's why every year on the anniversary of his death, my brother and I have a Budweiser in his honor. (I hate that beer, but he loved it.)

I'll have one in honor of your brother right now.