The Dudeism Forum

So my landlord, who is a sweet old lady, asks me to do her a favor and help paint some shit in this apartment she is renovating and she'll give me 50 bucks.

So she starts me off and then leaves and then her son comes back and he is like a combination of Brandt and the Big L, completely anal with a need to give orders to everyone and put other people down so he can feel superior about himself. His mother doesn't even like him.

Anyway, he starts gettin into my shit and tellin me what to do with this attitude like I am fuckin minimum wage laboring slave and he is the master carpenter.

I just put on my hypothetical sunglasses and let him talk, I could have told him....Dude...chill....I been here all day sanding shit and painting shit...its fucking Saturday, Shabbos, and I been working for 6 hours for a measly 50 bucks, but mostly to do a favor for my landlord who's been really cool and very Dude with me, so I want to help her.....but Dude, I did not, I repeat, I did not, sign up to be talked down to and given orders by an anal retentive fascist such as yourself Sir!

Yeah anyway, try to be Dude and theres always some fascist or some nihilist or some mortuary salesman judging u and tryin to make you feel inferior. What the fuck is up with that man? When will this persecution end man, this aggression will not stand, the Dude minds!!!

That sucks dude. Some assholes can be totally undude. It sounds like a situation best handled by...

Across this line, you do not...!!!

Or...

You're in a world of pain, A WORLD OF PAIN!

The brat undude totally sounds like unchecked anal retentiveness.

Fuckin A, man. I got a rash, man. I work every day with a bunch of self-important Big Lebowskis, reactionaries, and whining nihilists.

For people like that, it's very important that "the bums" will always lose. Yet what is it they've "won" exactly? They've gained the world, maybe, (or a small fraction that they over inflate into a world), but in the proces they've lost their ability to abide, to be most genuinely human.

To quote Eliot's Waste Land (I changed a word to "abiding" to make my point):

My friend, blood shaking my heart   
The awful daring of a moment's abiding
Which an age of prudence can never retract   
By this, and this only, we have existed   
Which is not to be found in our obituaries   
Or in memories draped by the beneficent spider   
Or under seals broken by the lean solicitor   
In our empty rooms

QuoteFor people like that, it's very important that "the bums" will always lose. Yet what is it they've "won" exactly? They've gained the world, maybe, (or a small fraction that they over inflate into a world), but in the proces they've lost their ability to abide, to be most genuinely human.

That's perfect Smokey, thats exactly it, man, i mark that a perfect 8 dude, you hit the proverbial fornicator right on the head.

Just lookin' after my Turtle.

Keep abiding, man. 

Thats cool Smokey, but I must warn you, if you try to fuck me in the ass, I WILL cut your dick off.

Turtle, you're out of your element.

Turtle has papers.Over the line!

I have fucking papers man!

This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.

In and Out.

Quote from: Turtle on July 08, 2008, 05:01:18 AM
In and Out.

those are good burgers

The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose

Our troubles are over.

Quote from: Turtle on July 08, 2008, 06:31:01 PM
Our troubles are over.

........A few burgers, a few beers...........