The Dudeism Forum

The forum has, in the last few weeks, had a lot of great postings concerning the subject of developing Dudeist thoughts, concepts, tenets and philosophy. Personally I find all of this to be very interesting and have to say that many of you have contributed some really great ideas. You are much more smarter than this dude. The dudely group mind has come up with a lot of good thinking and new direction in Dudeism.

Also, many people here have introduced material that has motivated other dudes to have to think over and re-think what being a dude means to them, and what dudesim is all about. The responses have been awesome and thought provoking. I believe that this is all positive and a healthy thing.

But herein is a potential problem and a threat; when ever deep thinking people get together and discuss a subject that they find interesting and are passionate about there is always the danger of vigorous debate morphing into arguments, insults, attacks and outright flame wars. Typically, people begin, without realizing it, attacking the person and not focusing on useful debate of a subject at hand. Before you know it, we have a flame war on our hands and sometimes people feel abused and simply quit. We then lose good dudes who's input was valuable.

These things can happen without us really realizing that they are. All of a sudden we become angry or insulted because of a way we were treated by someone regarding a post or comment. Our "rights" were violated, perhaps a right to be treated decently. Which is understandable. But, I believe that we can be bigger than that. We can address the project of developing Dudeist thinking in a mature and dude like manner. Of that I have no doubt!!

So here is the challenge; can we as a group of intelligent dudes engage in vigorous debate expressing our thoughts in a continual relaxed and passionate dudely like manner? Can we do so taking each dude's input and, even if we disagree, respect what they have to say? Can we "agree to disagree" understanding that even comments that we may disagree with still have value and are worthwhile?

In short; the old adage of "treat others as you would want to be treated" is one tenet of Dudeism that can, and will, be invaluable to all dudes as Dudeism grows and expands. Also, it just makes good sense because we don't end up wasting so much time and energy defending ourselves from insults, flames and useless nonsense. We just don't need to waste our time, or even have time for unproductive squaring off for a battle. I believe that we, and anyone who wants to join the project, can work together respecting and valuing all dudes and what they have to say.

If a dude tosses out an insult, a few words that cross you wrong, or you disagree with what is being said, my advice is to simply understand that you are higher than to let such things control you or force a response in kind other than to express your opinion in a dudely like manner. In other words, don't let it camp in your brain. Don't let it control you.

One dude once said "blessed are the peace makers, they will inherit the Earth." A very dude like idea! Maybe in this case it could say "blessed are the peacemakers, they will help build dudeism."

You are all a group of awesome dudes! Abide!

And as always, this is IMHO.

Aw shit, did I miss a good flame war?

Been dealing with a flu all week, while working, made it tough to keep up, the mind is anything but limber when it is packed with mucus.

I have seen some truly ugly flame wars, the most important thing to remember is to en"lighten" up. Don't take things too personally. And laugh at your self once in a while, ultimately we are all like 8 year olds who walk into the middle of a movie.

Beautifully worded, DB dude. I'll sign on to that for sure. It has been weird seeing little dude cliques and thinly veiled passive-aggression on the rise lately. I hope lots of dudes read your post here.

This is actually something I've been thinking about a lot this week - that I can't control other people, I can't make them stop doing things that piss me off, but I *can* just... Not get pissed off as much. The whole we-can't-control-others-but-we-can-control-our-own-reactions-to-them kinda thing. Like ol' Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." That applies to whole range of emotions. To really realize that is very freeing, and very dudely, in my experience.

QuoteYou need to sticky it and lock it down

Why? What is this obsession of yours with locking and blocking and stopping topics?

You must belong to some pretty uptight forums with very formal rules etc. but this isn't the way we roll here dude.

Please take some time out to read a few posts ....maybe go back a few years even.

It's you who's peeing on the rug dude.

Peace

I'd first like to congratulate DB on extending my favourite pipe, the peace one.

Then I'd like to despair that this very topic has already been used to snipe at others, take moral highground and reopen the wounds that were trying to be closed.

That's not in the spirit of "agree to disagree" or "forgive and forget".

Let's no muddy this great post from DB, eh?

QuoteSo you missed which part of my post?

I didn't miss any of your post. I'm just having trouble understanding what you are saying?

So I shall ask again. Why would you want this thread sticky or locked? Or am I missing something here?

QuoteYou need to sticky it and lock it down. But use another topic of the this same post for more Dudes to respond to.

What does that sentence even mean? I am really confused here?

I'm not trying to pee on anyone's rug I just want to understand what it is you are trying to say.

I'm happy to abide mate. Just want a bit of clarity please.

Just a heads up, I seem to have a problem with incontinence, so if I break water on anyone's rug, please know chances are maliciousness was not the driving force... though I will, of course, clean up after myself if not smacked on the nose. 

Actually,I thought it was the meak who were gonna inherit the Earth 'cos the rest of us were gonna bugger off to the stars.

Regrettably, I've gotta say that it's very discouraging that those of us saying positive things often get overlooked because of this button-pushing and subsequent bait-taking, or whatever the hell you'd categorize this stuff as.

I don't know about other people, but it feels like any positive stuff I'm saying falls on deaf ears. It sucks, and I hope Dudeism can get through these shitty growing pains intact.

Just take it easy man.....enough said the rest is up to you.

Quote from: Pancake Waitress on September 12, 2011, 09:05:50 AM
Regrettably, I've gotta say that it's very discouraging that those of us saying positive things often get overlooked because of this button-pushing and subsequent bait-taking, or whatever the hell you'd categorize this stuff as.

I don't know about other people, but it feels like any positive stuff I'm saying falls on deaf ears.

It's easier to focus on the negative.

Especially when it's being shouted.

Quote from: Pancake Waitress on September 12, 2011, 09:05:50 AM
It sucks, and I hope Dudeism can get through these shitty growing pains intact.

If it means a few of us go a different way then so be it.

It's happened before it will happen again.

i think this guy can't be for real, its too much! it's so muchiness! he's got to be a lone ranger from some right wing crazy christian group in his own head, who comes onto such places as our beach community and is a  wannabe-GENIUS at double-speak and trying to sow complicated discord within the forum. i must also say this is my first forum community, ive never seen anything like this before, did not know what a flame war was and still dont understnad the penguin thing, but i am feeling the preasure to leave myself, and it feels like that has GOT to be his endgame, as no one can be this weird and obtuse and be real, right?

Quote from: hannahdude on September 12, 2011, 03:28:48 PM
i think this guy can't be for real, its too much! it's so muchiness! he's got to be a lone ranger from some right wing crazy christian group in his own head, who comes onto such places as our beach community and is a  wannabe-GENIUS at double-speak and trying to sow complicated discord within the forum. i must also say this is my first forum community, ive never seen anything like this before, did not know what a flame war was and still dont understnad the penguin thing, but i am feeling the preasure to leave myself, and it feels like that has GOT to be his endgame, as no one can be this weird and obtuse and be real, right?

If someone annoys you...do not read or reply to their posts.

Quote from: hannahdude on September 12, 2011, 03:28:48 PM
i think this guy can't be for real, its too much! it's so muchiness! he's got to be a lone ranger from some right wing crazy christian group in his own head, who comes onto such places as our beach community and is a  wannabe-GENIUS at double-speak and trying to sow complicated discord within the forum. i must also say this is my first forum community, ive never seen anything like this before, did not know what a flame war was and still dont understnad the penguin thing, but i am feeling the preasure to leave myself, and it feels like that has GOT to be his endgame, as no one can be this weird and obtuse and be real, right?

Is this whole thing making me doubt humanity? It's getting close

I don't know what to say, Hannah... people are just weird, but that's what I like about them... but this is really taking the biscuit.

Reaching a moral highground over a mound of slain foes and denfend it with a bloodied pike and a snarl is... dumbfounding, especially as there seems to be a Dudeist flag raised up there

I don't know where to start deconstructing that mess...

Quote from: cckeiser on September 12, 2011, 03:41:09 PM

Quote from: hannahdude on September 12, 2011, 03:28:48 PM
i think this guy can't be for real, its too much! it's so muchiness! he's got to be a lone ranger from some right wing crazy christian group in his own head, who comes onto such places as our beach community and is a  wannabe-GENIUS at double-speak and trying to sow complicated discord within the forum. i must also say this is my first forum community, ive never seen anything like this before, did not know what a flame war was and still dont understnad the penguin thing, but i am feeling the preasure to leave myself, and it feels like that has GOT to be his endgame, as no one can be this weird and obtuse and be real, right?

If someone annoys you...do not read or reply to their posts.

I had advised someone exactly the same, CC.  I had said some people needed to be ignored and nurtured in equal measure to help them fit better into the way we do things here.  Totally ignoring someone won't fix the problem, and trying only nurture will often leave you breathless