The Dudeism Forum

Lately I have been out of sorts, not feeling my normal Dudely self. I am not sure what's wrong, I think I am doing too much, and fighting too much. That and I have back up to feed the monkey.

At my scrap yard I was almost out, on the verge of being free from the Big L game, but no body rose to the occasion, and the monkey started screeching all at once. Now I have taken on general manager of the whole place. Not because that's what I want, but because that is what so many need. Thing is, being this deep in biz, and acting all boss like makes me feel like a pornographer. sad face

Then there is this whole big war on drugs thang, Dudes, I have been in the trenches for decades, have a purple heart and just now coming to grips with how upset I am that they took away the opportunity for me to get financial aid for education. I went through that 25 years ago, but have been fighting back for 15 years. But Dudes, I am getting exhausted, I know we are near the end of this war, which doesn't help, it actually adds more pressure to preform.

And there is all the Engaged Buddhism stuff I am trying to do, actually seriously thinking about starting another company, that has as it's purpose to benefit the ZP.

So I have all these things, and as noble and important as they are, I am getting exhausted, and drifting closer to Walter then I have in years. Plus It is taking away from what I would like to be doing in Dudeism. I have skills that would go a long way around here, but I just can't jump start them.

Well Dudes, I just don't know, I am throwing strikes but they feel like gutter balls. Maybe I just need a little more rug time.

Hi Rev,
I think I was in a similar situation not too long ago. Quite successfull, but the strikes no longer felt like strikes. I had many interesting things going, but the joy went out of them.

A lot of expectations, and I felt as if I was no longer up to them. Of course, most of those expectations came from the threefold "yours truly". And most of those around me did not even suspect that something was wrong.

Well, there fucking was, and I was definitely Hyper-Walter. I did not wave guns around, though.

So, for starters, you are not alone. I kept going too long that way and I wouldn't recommend that.

One way to view it, I learned, is to see it all as an energy-balance thing. Not exactly a new concept, I know, but I always thought I had (or should have) energy no end (an upbringing thing, too). Anyway, you put more in than you can get out, or than you can regenerate on the rug. Well, you exhaust yourself, and the baar, he eats you.

So I cut back on some things I did a bit and it did me good. Also, I noted that nobody cared that much about it. To my great surprise, the world did not stop spinning around when, for example, I "re-trenched" jobwise a bit. Also, I revised - and still do revise - my motivations, attitudes and the like. So to speak, I am on my own peace mission. TBL is a great help.

I noticed you called the things you do "noble and important". I don't want to question this, but it sounds like you are carrying quite a burden, if you ask me. Plus you been carrying them some time.

In the end I accepted: Less can be more - I learned it the hard way. Not the hardest way possible, but unpleasant enough it was for sure.

So, yes, the rug may come in handy here.

Take care, and 'er easy, man
Faithfully
BE

Hey Rev,

To kinda dovetail from what Brother Erwin said - all these things you got going on, can any of it be spread around?  I don't mean that in the "fob it off on some other dude" kind of way. Is there any kind of network of like minded folks who can share the load or be part of a think tank or anything?

Anything any of us can do?  In a similar-but-not-the-same vein, it wasn't long ago that I felt strapped for cash, time, ability to participate in a number of causes here in my town. Heck, this weekend there's like 5 events going on that range from a benefit to fight childhood cancer to a release party for a local musician (who is donating proceeds to a local children's fund).  Eventually, I realized that while I can't be everywhere and give money as much as I want to, I can at least spread the word and get people connected to the right people (or try to at least).

-Senator Tso

What's your "You" time?  Laying on the rug listening to the finals?  Taking long baths while listening to whale songs?  You have to have a thing. YOUR thing.  Your thing needs to be an uncompromisable use of your time.  So and so needs something? Too bad, you're doing your thing and the phone is off.  You've got to take some selfish time for yourself in order to help those around you to abide completely.  

Mine is reading.  It's a known thing to my friends and family. Don't fuck with Rev Trip when he's reading mang, or you're entering a world of pain.  Find yours and do it without exception.  

revgms I think we all go through phases like that. A lot of the time its just a release to pressure built up from somewhere else.

Personally Ive been through periods I look back on now and can't even understand how I afforded to drink like that considering I earn more now and would have a problem sustaining it for so long.

I am a little luckier than you I just drink myself into stupidity. As rev Klaus puts it he used to turn up to the pub and all he could get out of me was monkey faces, not even propper words.

The fact you realise you have a problem (as with any of these things) is a good thing.

Been feeling very undudely, myself, for the past week or so - it comes to us all. Last week some fuckin' asshole bunt paraquat driver nearly killed my children. He was speeding - oblivious to the fact that we were crossing and skidded to halt just inches from us. He laughed and imperiously waved us on (bunt); I yelled and raved (flashing through my mind various forms of physical reprisal), clenching and unclenching my fists - screaming at the fucker "do you think that's fuckin' funny?!" for a full five minutes in the road (standing in front of the bunts car). Finally he wound down his window and said "no, I don't think it's funny - can you get out of the road please" with another imperious wave. BUNT! At that point I lost the power of speech - the fucker had almost killed two kids, didn't think he had to apologise - and he was still in a fuckin' hurry.. I was led away by my girls - after making a show of copying his license plate. Pedestrians here, in strip Mall-land are generally considered suspect. Anyway, no one was hurt and violence - in front of my kids - did not occur (just as well the fucker was twice as big as me). Same thing happened the day after - walking back from school - same street but different route. Some twat sped out of an alleyway to join the flow off traffic - just missed us; ( woman driving this time) again , laughter but this time an apology; I felt utterly drained and we just walked around the idiot.  I am not including this post as a comparison to yours, by any means, it's just to air my undudeliness, too. Especially when you're trying to cross a street in fuckin' Claremont/Pomona. Not even sure its undude in this case - it's just life. Bad example I guess.

Anyway, as another poster mentioned: acknowledging your problem is half the problem solved. You have taken on some help and that's great; if this gives you more time to be with yourself and your rug - COOL. Do not attempt to fill the time up with any more projects, just yet. Try and relax, check impatience until you are relaxed enough in a week or two to be able to tune into yourself a little more clearly. Wait for intuition to kick in. Your sandals will find a way, in their own time, Dude  

I wish I had something to offer here dude, but all I can think of is looking into the Dude De Ching for some wisdom here: http://dudeism.com/tao/contents

Hope you make it to the semis dude.

Thanx Dudes, being rushed right now (see what I mean), but I will have a more meaningful thanx later.

Serious wisdom here Dudes.

Quote from: cakebelly on January 18, 2011, 11:58:43 AM
Been feeling very undudely, myself, for the past week or so - it comes to us all. Last week some fuckin' asshole bunt paraquat driver nearly killed my children. He was speeding - oblivious to the fact that we were crossing and skidded to halt just inches from us. He laughed and imperiously waved us on (bunt); I yelled and raved (flashing through my mind various forms of physical reprisal), clenching and unclenching my fists - screaming at the fucker "do you think that's fuckin' funny?!" for a full five minutes in the road (standing in front of the bunts car). Finally he wound down his window and said "no, I don't think it's funny - can you get out of the road please" with another imperious wave. BUNT! At that point I lost the power of speech - the fucker had almost killed two kids, didn't think he had to apologise - and he was still in a fuckin' hurry.. I was led away by my girls - after making a show of copying his license plate. Pedestrians here, in strip Mall-land are generally considered suspect. Anyway, no one was hurt and violence - in front of my kids - did not occur (just as well the fucker was twice as big as me). Same thing happened the day after - walking back from school - same street but different route. Some twat sped out of an alleyway to join the flow off traffic - just missed us; ( woman driving this time) again , laughter but this time an apology; I felt utterly drained and we just walked around the idiot.  I am not including this post as a comparison to yours, by any means, it's just to air my undudeliness, too. Especially when you're trying to cross a street in fuckin' Claremont/Pomona. Not even sure its undude in this case - it's just life. Bad example I guess.

Anyway, as another poster mentioned: acknowledging your problem is half the problem solved. You have taken on some help and that's great; if this gives you more time to be with yourself and your rug - COOL. Do not attempt to fill the time up with any more projects, just yet. Try and relax, check impatience until you are relaxed enough in a week or two to be able to tune into yourself a little more clearly. Wait for intuition to kick in. Your sandals will find a way, in their own time, Dude 

Holy shit, man. I would have been out for blood. In the words of the dude; "get outta that fucking car, man!" Then I would have flashed a crow bar out on the lane and customized the fucker's car shouting "hey asshole, ACROSS THIS LINE, YOU DO NOT! ...BASH!!! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS.............. BASH!!!

Cake dude, you're a better dude than me.

Well, you know, sometimes . . .

(contd on IM)

Yup, gonna drop a project, you Dudes are right, sometimes ya gotta say "fuck it" and go bowling.

But wouldn't Ya' know, my bowling shoes are two states away, not my week.

Quote from: revgms on January 19, 2011, 09:43:32 AM
Yup, gonna drop a project, you Dudes are right, sometimes ya gotta say "fuck it" and go bowling.

But wouldn't Ya' know, my bowling shoes are two states away, not my week.

To quote Rev Klaus

"Most people don't realise there are actually thirteen months in the year, and the name of the thirteenth month is Shit!"

@cb: db is totally right. You were not undude, apparently somebody was about to run over your kids. I think your reaction was only human and normal.

I don't know what I would have done, but I imagine something along the line of what db wrote would surely have got to my mind, like crowbars for example. Which also come in handy when the offender is taller than you.  

and @revgms: I did not want to give the impression exactly that I have already found out a more dudeist way of living. I just have realized it might do me good. Old habits die hard, as we all know but I agree with meekon5, once you have realized that there should and could be a little change, that's maybe half the way. Take good care of yourself. Times like these call for dudes!

Faithfully BE

just had a very Walter moment at the end of a game of 5 a side football after being taken down for the 6th time last night. it was school ground pushing and shoving, mainly because i was nackered, but i just lost the rag.
our game is fairly sedate, given most involved are pushing 40, but we have recently had to make up the numbers with young blood and they are just arrogent little shits who dont grasp the way we play the game.
now i will happily play any sport against people better than me, but these guys just suck the fun out of it: too aggressive, complain to much and then never bloody pass the ball (maradona complex's me thinks).
needless to say after getting home i took some absolution in a J but can anyone suggest other suitable penetance? or just say fuck it and get on with life?

I've heard that while playing rugby if someone behaves like a paraquat members of the other team, to teach him a bit of humility, first take him down and then they walk over him. Having a bunch of people weighting around 100 kg walking over the paraquat surely teache him something. Much better than kicking him in the balls. Am I wrong?