Being quick to anger

[Jianblade]

Howdy dudes,

How do you all deal with your anger? I've noticed as I've gotten older that I have a really short temper, and that really small shit seems to bother me the most. Frankly, I hate feeling g angry all of the time, but I can never find a way with dealing with it. What do you think?

[Another Old Dude]

What would the Dude say? "Yeah, fuck it man. I can't be worried about that shit. Life goes on, man." You gotta choose not to be pissed. I know it's easier to say than it is to do. Just don't sweat the small stuff.

[LotsaBadKarma]

I like to try to get it out as soon as it starts to crop up and, preferably, at whoever inspired me to be angry. Get to it right away, then it's dealt with and ceases to be an issue. If I don't get right on it with the right person(s) it sits dormant within my battered psyche and comes out sideways at a later time at the wrong people.

[BikerDude]

This is actually the real best use of the Dudeist Holy Canon.
I also tended toward rage.
The trick is to perceive the shit that ticks you off as less important.

Sure!  Fuck it!  That's your answer!  Tattoo it on your forehead!  Your
answer to everything!

Yeah, man!  Fuck it!  I can't be worrying about that shit.  Life goes on!

[The Guro]

I deeply struggle with road rage myself...

So far I try to just relax and enjoy the ride. Music, books on tape... digging the scenery. Making sure I have plenty of time. Trying to keep things spaced far enough apart to take it easy without cramming too much into my schedule at any given time. Taking different routes keeps me interested in the scenery too.

Having stuff you can pull into your mind to handle it works good to... like BikerDude said. Not letting much time go buy before you get over it somehow is also a great practice like LotsaBadKarma said.

Dude-phesians 4:26  Be ye angry, and un-Dude not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath

Anger is a legit feeling that's there for a reason. We just need to impose a scale on it that keeps us from going over the edge with what we do with it.

Mind over Matter... Don't Mind it won't Matter...

[Dudeist Monk]

There is another slow growing "religion", similar in some ways to Dudeism, different greatly in others, called C'Thia. It's based around the Vulcan philosophy in Star Trek but applied to the real world (they don't want people wearing Spock ears or anything dumb like that).

Anyways (rambled a bit there), one of the phrases/teachings that they utilise is:

"There is no offence where none is taken."

I like that.

A lot of the time I/we get angry it's more our over reactions rather than the intent of others.

So, I've kind of added that phrase to my own Dudeist philosophy. I get/stay angry a lot less when I think of that phrase.

[jgiffin]

Anger is my biggest adversary. The tendency to Walter is strong with this one. The easy answer is to remove as many things from your life that cause anger as possible. And, yeah, that helps. It helps a lot. I mean, if you don't, you're essentially a willing participant in your own frustrations - so don't bitch about it. But most of us will be left with a lot of things we can't readily eliminate.

I'm trying to better handle those remaining frustrations. Drinking didn't work. Well, it did but only for a while. And the whirlwind of shit it reigned down was probably worse than the symptoms it temporarily alleviated. Reclusion was okay. But, at a certain point, you risk losing the good along with the bad by withdrawing from so much. Giving voice to the demons can help - whether it's yelling at the source of the frustration, venting with a friend, or even posting on the interweb. But, again, the relief is palliative, at best. And so much more remains.

The uncomfortable truth is that long-term, sustained, genuine anger probably (invariably?) signals the need to make one or more more significant (read: painful) changes in your life. Confronting that is tough. I often approach some semblance of this truth only to turn away from weakness, embarrassment, guilt, or laziness. It gets harder as I age. I suspect it does for everyone. Taking the first punch is easy. You don't know how much it's gonna hurt. After that, well, you know. And it's harder to take it, let alone ask for it.

[Hominid]

Anger's author is fear. It's a Darwinian thing; our perceived threats initiate a fight or flight response that subconsciously starts as fear, then in microseconds turns into anger.  It's the "perceived" part that is KEY.  So, by some simple conditioning, we can help our brains interpret perceived threats differently.  This is very effective...

- Take 5 deep breathes every hour.
- Suck on candies a couple times a day.
- Keep VERY well hydrated.
- Start meditating once a day, minimum 5 minutes. 20 is awesome. This keeps the chattering monkeys quiet, and encourages mindfulness.

All of these things affirm your subconscious that there is no immediate threat; that life is good, and you can just - like - take it easy man.  Do this for a week and you'll be a different person.  It was absolutely life changing for me.  No more anger... A spin-off effect is that those around you will will be very grateful.  Ask my special lady.

[Brother D]

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering" Yoda.

[The Guro]

There MUST be a like button that can be added to this forum...

[Reverend Tom]

I am new to Dudeism. I must say the "take it easy" philosophy is quite appealing. Being Dude like is quite difficult for me. I grew up a military brat, and spent the majority of my life seeing things in black and white - hence, I was quick to anger.
One principle I like to apply to any situation is Occam's Razor - "The simplest explanation is usually the truth". So I usually will dig to the root of a problem just to find out it is small shit. Walk away man!
Another truth I have found with age is that everything is small shit. So Fuck It Man!

[Liam_123]

For me I do 1 of 2 things depends on where I am and the situation. Most of the time if something or someone pisses me off I walk away, calm down and return to the situation to resolve it. Other times I go for a drive to calm down.

I can't wait for my next beer

[SagebrushSage]

*deleting old posts*

[Brother D]

Recognition of the emotion, is usually the first step in anger management. Consider what is actually important enough to get angry over and like others have said, taking a step back and breathing, reduces stress levels, but repetition is the key, self control takes time.

[RandoRock]

If only the federal government could catch up and make doing a J legal, that helped solve many of my anger issues before I started working for the man and had to quit.