Understanding women...

[DigitalBuddha]

[Red Back Dragon Dude]

Well at least the dudes were devoted enough to try till the end , my we prosper from the results of their research.

[BikerDude]

So many momen jokes so little time......

A man says to his friend, ?I haven?t spoken to my wife in 18 months.?
The friend says, ?Why not??
The man says, ?I don?t like to interrupt her.?

Question: Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women?
Answer: When they come they?re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

When a man marries Miss Right, he never realizes that her first name is ?Always?.

And the best...

A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

?There?s no way they can catch a BMW,? he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn?t run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. ?It?s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it?s Friday the 13th. I don?t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven?t heard before, you can go.?

The guy thinks for a second and says, ?Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.?

?Have a nice weekend,? said the officer and he walked away.

[meekon5]

I'm sorry gentlemen,

This is entirely imhdo,

but I know we have a reputation for being sexist cunts but do you have to prove it with this sort of rubbish?

[DigitalBuddha]

I'm sorry gentlemen,

This is entirely imhdo,

but I know we have a reputation for being sexist cunts but do you have to prove it with this sort of rubbish?

I'm not a sexist cunt, but have to admit; I'm still trying to figure women out. But then again, perhaps we're not supposed to figure them out; makes life more intriging

[Masked Dude]

I have a hard time liking people much less understanding them. Male or female.

[Caesar dude]

Hmmmm...after working for three years with the general public. I've become an impassioned hater of every single one of the bastards. It takes a lot for me to get to know one let alone like one.

Fuck the lot of the patronising rude cunts.

Show me you're worth getting to know and I may....just...give you the time of day.

Peace dudes.

[meekon5]

I'm sorry gentlemen,

This is entirely imhdo,

but I know we have a reputation for being sexist cunts but do you have to prove it with this sort of rubbish?

I'm not a sexist cunt, but have to admit; I'm still trying to figure women out. But then again, perhaps we're not supposed to figure them out; makes life more intriging

Sorry DB I didn't say you were a sexist c*nt (I don't use the word lightly) I said this sort of thread makes us all look like sexist c*nts.

I am becoming continuously worried that this forum is becoming boys club (Male to female ratio down from 3:2 to 4.9:1 at the moment).

I am always aware that this is a public forum, even as I type now there are forty people logged onto the forum, one registered user (me) and thirty nine guests.

Though most of the time I like to think of this forum as a pub or bar, you must realise that this is more like the forum of the Romans where certain people stood and talked in the forum before crowds of interested onlookers.

This is a public face of Dudeism.

I personally don't think things like this and lists of sexist jokes set us in very good stead.

This just plays into certain christian commentators and makes us exactly what they have said we are.

Please don't get me wrong I am as lost in the wilderness as the rest of you.

I agree with CC I don't see peoples problems being sex based it's all of them that are mentally damaged.

Also I truly believe women can be just as sexist as men.

[Caesar dude]

I still don't like most people  Meekon....male or Female...I do agree with your statement though.

Peace.

[LotsaBadKarma]

I'm sorry gentlemen,

This is entirely imhdo,

but I know we have a reputation for being sexist cunts but do you have to prove it with this sort of rubbish?

It all depends upon whether what is being said is based on metaphor or observation.

[BikerDude]

I still don't like most people  Meekon....male or Female...I do agree with your statement though.

Peace.

I can respect that.
Anybody can get along with people if they are willing to eat their shit with a grin.
It takes convictions to cross people off the list.
It might not be the most Dude tude but at least you are not a sell out.

"Honor Few and Fear None"

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/honor-few-fear-none-ruben-cavazos/1008890575?ean=9780061137891&itm=1&usri=9780061137891

[ZoeAbides]

An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girl's house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, "See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!".

The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want a football!"
Being a modern woman, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike. She holds up the football,"Nah Na Nah Nah".

The little boy angrily points to his bike and says,"Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you can't have one!"

She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys bike. The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most private of parts says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!!!"

The next day he walks by and asks her, "Well, I guess I showed you!"
To which she promptly pulls up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"

***

A lesbian is talking with her straight friend about the similarities of dating.  They talk about the awkwardness of a first date.  They discuss the anxiety of sex for the first time with a new lover.  They discuss arguments and making up.

Finally the straight woman says, "Well, if it's all so similar, then why do you date women?"

The lesbian replies, "I like a challenge!"

***

Fear not, Dudely Brothers!  Not only are we harder on ourselves and each other than any man ever could be, most of us are equipped with a sense of humor.  And boobs.

We already know we win.

[Caesar dude]

* Snigger..... Zoe Dude said BOOBS!

[BikerDude]

Fear not, Dudely Brothers!  Not only are we harder on ourselves and each other than any man ever could be, most of us are equipped with a sense of humor.  And boobs.

We already know we win.

Head is bowed.
The force is strong in women.
Boooooooobies!!!!!

[Hominid]

Vaginas aren't bad either.