Formal slacking

[MindAbiding]

Hey Dudes,

I can already tell that today's going to amount to very little. I've already overslept (somehow my inner Dude turned off the alarm), got to work late, and things don't seem to be picking up.  I gotta do what I gotta do to feed the monkey, but it's going to be a day of more or less formal slacking.

This brings me to a question, Dudes. We all have those days where we gotta put in some face time at the old job, but the heart's juts not in it. What are your favorite ways to formally slack? You know, to put in a day at work, where you inconspicuously don't get much done.

I'll start with my list:

1. Check and re-check the dudeism forum
2. Go to the bathroom frequently
2a. See if you can take a good long shit (that's a tip from Bukowski)
3. Find other slackers around the office and talk to them about not getting things done.
4. Dudeitation at your desk

Other favorites, Dudes?

[Hominid]

1 - Flirt with the office flirt.
2 - Place fake vomit on someone's paperwork
3 - Place a nerf gun on everyone's desk and declare war.
4 - Make paper airplanes and fly them out the window.
5 - Cover your body with yellow stickies and walk like a zombie.

That should get you started.

[DigitalBuddha]

Re: "I can already tell that today's going to amount to very little."

Holy shit, that's a perfect description of a day of dude-like slacking. Fuckin' eh! Is this, what day is this?

[Caesar dude]

My office flirt is me!

The only desk in the office belongs to me!

See above!

We've done that...it was raining and we're at ground level!

I wear bright orange and work with zombies...well brain dead individuals for sure.

I detest my job!

[Judd Dude]

Fuck it! Practical jokes, dickin off online, and, most importantly, getting paid to shit is the best man! Go for it.

[Cardudenal Luis Flow Ers]

Im just listening to music and stare at the computer all day.

[BrotherShamus]

Definitely gotta have some days where you're just totally useless

1. Read something interesting on the computer
2. Take a walk around the office (have some papers in your hand as a disguise)
3. triple check the forum
4. Tunes
5. Doodle
6. Galaga

[mrpaddy]

Man, this is one of my areas of expertise. I spend a hell of a lot of time in the office, but the nature of my job means I frequently don't have a lot to do (without getting into boring details, I'm only there for when stuff goes very very wrong, and sometimes that won't happen for days at a time). Got to make it as dudely as possible. In no particular order:

1) Wandering around. I work in a building with a lot of security doors and from time to time the overachievers upstairs like to pick on people who appear to be clocking out too much. But I can wander around to various other teams on some pretense or another and kill a bit of time there. Walking slowly is the key.
2) Zoning out, in a specific way that mimics work. Focussing on a blank bit of screen, occasionally clicking or scrolling without diverting my attention.
3) Reddit, forums, blogs, news sites. Much of which is blocked on our corporate machines, but there's no policy against having a smartphone.
4) Word games, pun runs, general chit-chat with the person next to me. He's a good man, and thurrah. And he badly needs a little Dudeism in his life, can get very stressed, I find a little banter helps him take it easy. It's my good Dude deed for the day.
5) Bullshit conference calls. I do a lot of these. There are the occasional few where I'm actually needed, but half the time I'm just dialling in so that I can say I did. Take them on hands free, mute my side, and I'm free to wander outside and look at the clouds, vape, or grab a coffee.
6) Writing. Looks like you're typing something work-related, and nobody ever bothers to check.
7) Listen to music (indistinguishable from being on a conference call)
Prolonged bathroom breaks
9) Taking advantage of the rafter stupid company policy that treats my e-cigarette like it's a regular cigarette and going outside for "non-smoking" breaks. Of course, in deference to my health and safety, I have to walk further away from the office than the regular smokers. Such a shame. Heh.
10) Doodling. I'm a compulsive doodler. Can't draw for shit, but I get through a fuckload of post-it notes.

There's probably more, but I lost my train of thought.

[Havazhyol]

1) take a hot beverage (alcohol prohibited at work...)
2) take a break from the hot beverage.
3) wander over the internet : check mail, forums, video games news, geeky news, various "productive" websites.
4) rest a bit, appreciate the ladies at work.
5) listen to music.
6) watch a movie, mostly TBL, on the phone (galaxy note).
7) give company to smocking fellows (I d9n't smoke).
8) eat a bit, drink sodas,...
9) procrastinate (more like procrasturbate).
10) work a bit.