The Tao of the Dude Book

[the Knutsens]

Well there isn't any literal connection why nobody should fuck with Jesus.

Let's face it, there isn't any connection.

[Dude1967]

A soft answer turneth away wrath.  Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.   -Howard Taylor

[Dude1967]

"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply it. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap, you can expect a ton of shit."  - unknown

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.   -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.        -H. L. Mencken

The most important principle of divine philosophy is the oneness of the world of humanity, the unity of mankind, the bond conjoining East and West, the tie of love which blends human hearts.         -Abdul Baha, April 19, 1912, Earl Hall

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.   -George Bernard Shaw

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
        -Yoda, Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.           -Peter Ustinov


Death is not extinguishing the light
It is simply putting out the lamp
Because the dawn has come
     -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

[brandt]

"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left." - Oscar Levant

"Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to." - Mark Twain

'You said it man, nobody fucks with the Jesus" - Jesus Quitana

[brandt]

I mean QUINTANA.

Minds too limber.

[Dude1967]

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.       -Richard Bach


The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent.    -Carl Sagan

"Is it true that you smoke eight to ten cigars a day?"
"That's true."
"Is it true that you drink five martinis a day?"
"That's true."
"Is it true that you still surround yourself with beautiful young women?"
"That's true."
"What does your doctor say about all of this?"
"My doctor is dead."
George Burns (1896 - 1996)

[DigitalBuddha]

Fuck the "light at the end of the tunnel," it's a fucking train coming, man!

  - Unknown

[Dude1967]

He listens well who takes notes.        -Dante Alighieri

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.      -Dave Barry

Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.       -Aldous Huxley

[brandt]

"Anybody who is popular is bound to be disliked" -Yogi Berra

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television" -Woody Allen

[Dude1967]

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.      - John Lennon

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten.  They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane     -M. Grundler

[DigitalBuddha]

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass.

-- Denis Leary


Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

-- Brooke Shields (during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign).


If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

-- Dave Allen


He was a wise man who invented beer.

-- Plato.

[digbys kid]

"I believe that what doesn't kill you, makes you...stranger."  --The Joker

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. -- H.L. Mencken.

Luke: But tell me why I can't...
Yoda: No, no, there is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions.

[Dude1967]

I was grateful to be able to answer promptly.  I said." I don't know"    -Mark Twain

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself   -Jane Wagner

Time is what prevents everything from happening at once  - John Archibald Wheeler

[DigitalBuddha]

Shit happens.

- Unknown

[Andrea D.]

Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello.
Ed Wood

Yes, but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something.
Ed Wood