Helluva Caucasian (without writing a post-dated check)

[Hoopdejoop]

This is my first post here, so I feel like I need to innerduce myself a bit.
I go by Hoopdejoop online, and I'm 22 years old, currently a working student in San Marcos, Texas. I've been practicing Dudeism for a while now, but I realized that self-applying the title would be far out back on 1/19/2012. But I lost my train of thought there..

Anyways, I work a job that allows me to take it easy most of the time, but the pay is shit (on the plus side, I avoid being bumped into a higher tax bracket). Anyhow, I love a good Caucasian, but the premium stuff is a bit too expensive. But rather than stressing myself out asking "Where's the fucking money, shithead!?!?", I utilized some cheaper methods of creating the holy beverage. I'll direct it to the tune of verse 12: Beverages.

Too much Kahlua blinds the vodka

1 16-cup pot of very strong coffee
2&2/3 lbs light brown sugar (2 & 2/3 C tightly packed)
6T vanilla extract
1L bottle of 190 proof everclear

Bring the coffee to a boil in a large pot.
Gradually add the brown sugar while stirring and return to a boil, stirring constantly
Let cool to room temperature
Once completely cool, add the vanilla and everclear

This recipe makes about a gallon/batch, and costs a fraction of buying the bottles from the liquor-store

Too much vodka deafens the milk

No solid recipe here, but I've learned some things. I don't remember where I heard it; but you can buy really cheap vodka (I buy Taaka at the rate of two handles for $21), and run it through a Brita(or equivalent) filter pitcher 2-3 times for an amazing increase in quality. I keep a grey-goose bottle from way back on-hand, and you'll never believe how well people respond to the guy who arrives at a BYOB party with "Grey Goose". They can't tell the difference, and it keeps some of those nasty hangovers at bay.

Too much milk dulls the beverage

So this one isn't too much of a problem, but half-and-half tends to spoil, especially if you're buying the discounted type. To get around this, I've taken to the options of powdered creamer.

2:1 = Hot water:powdered creamer

mix it as you will, store it indefinitely.

Too much beverage maddens the mind
Too much madness makes the whole world go FUCKING CRAZY!

Know your limits, and remember that there's a difference between keeping your mind limber, and being over the line.

A good burger provides for the belly, not for the head;
In-N-Out, it pairs well with Oat Soda

Keep in mind, a white-russian isn't always available. Sometimes the owner of the bowling alley is a real reactionary with a cleft asshole who won't let you practice a sacred ceremony with the sacramental beverage, but they serve beers, they've got burgers. Just say "fuck it", that's our answer to everything, go have a couple of burgers, some beers, a few laughs. Just take it easy man.

Just take it easy dudes, I know you will.

[DigitalBuddha]

Far fucking out, man!

[cckeiser]

Welcome dude!
Smoke em if you got em.

[NinthDude]

Fuckin' A !  Nice job there man.. keep it up !

[Hominid]

Rent's due...

[DigitalBuddha]

Is this, what day is this?

[Leopoldrose]

Bars over there. Thanks for the careful research dude!

[Zen Dog]

Well dudes,that is really interesting but as an ex RN sailor and having drunk just about everything I think, these days I pretty much just settle for real ale and rum.In fact I found a couple of swallows left over from last night so I had them for my breakfast.