Dudeist best man's speech any ideas?

[Boston Rockbury]

My brother is getting married again next week and for some crazy reason (actually it was ego) I volunteered to be the best man.
Thing is my cousin will be there. He's fucking amazing at speeches - real achiever, friend of princes (like literally man) and shit and I'm crapping myself. Not sure if I can get my Wild Lettuce and Valerian tincture through customs to ease the nerves (wedding is back in England). Fucking "help!" man I'm rapidly loosing it.

[martin]

shit man, u can get stuff in engerland too dude 

[Boston Rockbury]

I'm going to press my Wild Lettuce tincture tomorrow. I'll write some stuff, take a mighty hit of the 'elixir of the gods' and do a sort of 'dress rehersal' (though I probably won't wear a dress - just my pants).

Lavida (my wife is very posh) said "if you don't feel like wearing a suit, don't wear a suit", which I think is good advice. The last wedding I went to was a Bob Geldof's house (no seriously). I said to Lavidia "Fuck it babe, I'm going in my indian yogic clothes". "No you must wear a suit like everybody else" she says. We get there, me in the undersize pin-stripe looking like a bank clerk on his first day at work and guess what sir Bob is wearing, yup fucking kurta pyjamas!

It was quite a gig. Bob lives in an old priory with it's own chapel, where some little chick sang like an angel during the wedding service. I went up to her afterwards and said "That was beautiful. You've got an amazing voice." She said "tank you for your kindness" in this really sweet and humble way.

As I walked away some dude says

"Do you know who that is man!"

"No"

"Sinead O'Conner"

[martin]

best wishes dude

hope all goes well

[Boston Rockbury]

best wishes dude

hope all goes well

Thanks dude. Maybe I'll get my son to record the speech so that everyone can watch me making a total 'video-artist' of my self on YouTube
Actually - maybe not.