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Author Topic: Annotated version of Dude that's very Undude Catholic list  (Read 340 times)

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Annotated version of Dude that's very Undude Catholic list
« on: September 13, 2020, 12:02:40 PM »
For those who are more curious about the whole thing.

- Even though one should not use any images of God, we use them
And there are some really good paintings created for churches. Things like the Sistine Chapel.

- We have a Pagan Christmas tree and Pagan saints
Some of us later plant those trees in their garden. As for saints - well, they specialize, so if you pray to Saint Lucy, you direct your prayers to an eye specialist etc. No need to trouble The High Boss with such insignificant things (cosmic scale).

- We claim that our Pope makes no mistakes, even if the case is obvious
But at least there is one guy who says: it is definitely like that. When you count angels in the room, it helps. Sometimes.

- We use holy water and similar things, acting like Harry Potter
God as such is an invisible spirit. Water can be seen and felt.

- We use God to fill any gap in our knowledge and throw away science books
Recently Christians created something called God-guided evolution. That means: God created the world and the science tells us how he did it.

- We forget on purpose about something like half or more of the Bible, not following the Old Testament rules
Yes, there is still a problem with Bible reading. A bit of Martin Luther attitude helps here. As for Old Testament rules, Paul the Apostle tells us Jewish law does not apply to followers of Christ, it is a new religion. Still Jesus quotes Old Testament enough to read it together with New Testament.

- Old Testament God is a psychopath
And New Testament God is a laid-back hippie.

- Catholic husbands rape their own wives
Sometimes it happens. Girls, learn self-defence techniques. Just in case.

- We do not use any contraception, even if it means our children won't get anything to eat
There is a growing number of younger people who take a more relaxed approach to this.

- A Catholic woman is a home-schooled, stay-at-home mom with at least seven children
Some of them are really proud of it. Some of them manage to get a job and take care of their children too.

- No kissing with a Catholic girl, no fashionable clothes, just a modest dress
Among most orthodox folk - yes.

- Eating Jesus' body is in fact cannibalism
Some mystics told about Jesus being a kind of breast-feeding mother. When you look at the whole thing this way, it looks much better.

- We claim Blessed Virgin Mary did not have any sex as a married woman, which is pure hypocrisy
Actually, it's pretty unclear according to the Bible. We are told that Mary and Joseph had no sex until Jesus was born.

- Priests like money too much
Yes, indeed.

- Priests like children too much
Yes, indeed.

- Jesus and Mary are very often portrayed with white skin and golden hair
There are some revelations that show them this way. But mark it - to European people.

- Children are traumatised during their first confession
Depends on the attitude of the priest and their parents.

- You are baptised as an infant, without asking
Yes. Just in case you drop dead suddenly.

- Crucifixes appear in places that have nothing to do with faith
Some people like to feel there is somebody who watches everything. Some dislike it.

- You cannot simply walk away from the church
Yes, indeed.

- Christian symbols can be tracked back to Pagan times but we say they are unique
First Christians were usually Pagans who changed their religion. And if something was useful...

- There is more than one version of the Bible
The Bible is a collection of books, not a single book written in a day. And yes, there are different versions.

- Priests became involved in totalitarian affairs
Unfortunately sometimes the church likes rules and power too much.

- Celibacy is a myth, nepotism is real
Some Catholics say celibacy is outdated now and it has not really worked anyway.

- Catholics are sending people straight to hell for small things
Wrath/Anger is one of Seven Deadly Sins.

- Confession is for weak people who cannot change their behavior and in a way excuses spiritual laziness
Some go to their shrink, some go to their priest.

- We teach you to feel guilty all the time
Some people - yes.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2020, 03:08:52 AM by HnauHnakrapunt »


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Re: Annotated version of Dude that's very Undude Catholic list
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2020, 12:05:13 PM »
Just thought it may be useful to some people.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2020, 12:07:45 PM by HnauHnakrapunt »


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Re: Annotated version of Dude that's very Undude Catholic list
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2020, 09:58:10 AM »
Don't get that started.

« Last Edit: October 05, 2020, 10:00:56 AM by BikerDude »

Out here we are all his children


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Re: Annotated version of Dude that's very Undude Catholic list
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2020, 10:25:43 AM »
Like collecting all your dirty socks and putting them into a laundry basket.


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