I'm a sheep, but I don't wanna to be a shepard.
I don't want a Volvo, I wasn't mad about the guy, don't even envy the guy, honestly, I just thought he knew we didn't seek the same shit, not trying to say this from a higher point.
I call everyone 'mother fucker', 'asshole', so don't take it as an insult, actually when I like a guy I normally insult the fucker, that normally goes both ways.
The goal is... depends. Mine is live in harmony, everything else, sins, christianity, judeism, trued, don't wanna think about it.
The 12-years old thing, is me saying: 'you are showing your instinct all over me, use the mask man, like everyone else.'
The difficulty is that it smells like a dodge.
And I'm not laying any particular blame.
It feels like self delusion.
It is only after be accused of being envious that you pivot and claim to not be mad at the guy.
Although you used him as an example.
And specifically called him an asshole and said that he was acting like a 12 year old.
Once those view become baggage then you pivot.
It's intellectual fencing.
I suggest not playing such games.
If he has a nicer car than I do and he flaunts it I hate him because he has a nicer car than me and he flaunts it.
It's a natural and honest reaction.
Fuck that asshole.
To cover that up with some equivocating could be called "Christian Guilt". And even if you aren't a christian it's likely to be a part of your mentality.
We have built an entire mentality where people are supposed to feel guilty about what comes naturally.
The Judeo Christian ethos makes sins of every natural inclination that makes us naturally challenge the powerful.
We are supposed to feel bad about being envious.
The guy breezes by in a nice car acting like a big shot and you hate him for it.
That's good. It's natural.
Win instead of simply clinging to the million excuses that we are furnished with to make losing more palatable.
Don't feel guilty for having balls.
That road of kidding yourself dead ends.
Eventually the things you are valuing become worthless to you.
No one can hold back that tide. And why try?