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Author Topic: spiders and cobwebs  (Read 2219 times)

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resist-the-rush

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spiders and cobwebs
« on: May 10, 2016, 12:37:16 AM »
My idea of inner peace is admittedly a bar i set too high at a young age (currently 22) but it revolves around my heart and my conscious actions based on my love for fellow humans.. However, my weakness is the want to be accepted and I often find myself on a rough deal with the hard headed very left brain types of people. Whom seem way to robust for me to connect to, my humor attracts them then eventually they figure out that I do not have a strong filter.
Anyway, my point of this thread is to discuss possible ways around the mazes we find our-self in once tangled up with 'he said, she said'. Even after the dust of conflict has settled, we must rebuild what was lost, be it trust, self-confidence, or the cobwebs of mental abuse. How do you deal with the imbalance? Do you have any mantras you would like to share?

I will add that metal music is one of the major things i confide in and I often put myself through the questioning in lyrics to help understand where I was wrong or right. I would suggest it for most, however, be prepared because bands like slipknot and soulfly dont take prisoners.

Brother D

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Re: spiders and cobwebs
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2016, 06:00:55 AM »
Hey RTR, grab an oat soda (and a refill for me).

I have been where you are, (angry, questioning, pissed at the world) and while metal does provide an outlet, something to relate to, I've not found all the answers within lyrics/ songs. Some, yes, but not all.

It does help to understand negativity, angst and other issues, (NIN - the art of self destruction) but not the issues that you ask (he said/she said (limp bizkit- break stuff)).

If being stuck in the middle makes you feel uncomfortable, tell them in a tactful manner, dig that you can't make people happy all the time and there's only so much advice you can give. Most people want someone to solve their problems for them, others, have to work out.

Being the middle man/ mediator in social groups, can be both rewarding and challenging and I have found that showing them the door and letting them walk through it, helps somewhat.

Try not to get caught up in bitchy, tit for tat situations, they usually end badly. Be a dude, but not a sap.

"Being honest might not get you a lot of friends, but it'll get you the right ones"- John Lennon.

Take 'er easy,

Brother D.

resist-the-rush

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Re: spiders and cobwebs
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2016, 01:03:58 AM »
thanks for the advice Brother D you just nailed it for me :) im glad to know that taking a step back is different than "running away" from the situation. I have much to learn...
« Last Edit: May 11, 2016, 01:21:34 AM by resist-the-rush »

Jianblade

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Re: spiders and cobwebs
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2016, 10:10:54 PM »
I've been in the same position you have a couple of times myself. I can't say I did a good job at it either. I ended up losing a couple of friends because I played into the whole 'he said, she said' game. There was even a point where a couple of friends were arguing through me over text. I eventually got fed up with the whole thing, but instead of just stepping away from it, I ended up taking sides, which I hugely regret now. Because of it, instead of keeping one or two friends, I ended up losing both. I think the best thing you can do, as Brother D said, is just to step away from drama whenever it crops in your life

There are some folks that get off on playing the 'he said, she said' game, and that's cool, that's cool. But it can be toxic for those who like to live balanced lives. There's nothing wrong with offering advice and consoling those going through drama, it's dudely of you to be willing to do that, many can't stomach it. But there's a point where you need to look out for yourself, and let other people work out their problems themselves. Sometimes stepping back can be the most compassionate thing you can do, both for you and the other parties

Keep abidin' man! Can't be worried about that shit, life goes on!
« Last Edit: May 13, 2016, 12:10:41 AM by Jianblade »

 

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