Jury Dudey

[CyberDude]

Just finished my first experience of jury duty as a Dudeist. It was actually really awesome. In my previous jury duties I would always be extremely uptight for no real reason. Dreaded it. Hate courts, judges  and lawyers, don't know any personally. It was mostly just sitting there... worrying. This time around I just had this fuck it attitude the entire time. Used that epic waiting in a giant room time to just relax and take it easy. Listened to Creedence among other music. Took two seats to spread out for maximum Dudeist relaxation. When they called my name, went in like The Dude going into big Lebowskis office. No fucks given! Lawyers ultimately decided they didn't need me for that particular case. I even somehow walked out of there with a new rug. Back to the waiting pool. We got a lunch hour, came back and I decided to watch The Big Lebowski on my phone for the last hours of waiting. They didn't call my name, got discharged, and no jury duty worries for 8 years!

[BikerDude]

I just got out of it.
Got called just before the Holidays and they dismissed everyone.
So I'm good for another 6 years.

I have managed to duck it every time so far.

[DigitalBuddha]

A friend of mine says he just shows up and tells the judge; "As far as I'm concerned, the mother fucker is guilty!"


...hasn't worked yet!

[Reverend Al]

Just finished my first experience of jury duty as a Dudeist...They didn't call my name, got discharged, and no jury duty worries for 8 years!

I just got out of it.  Got called just before the Holidays and they dismissed everyone.  So I'm good for another 6 years...

8 years???  6 years???  Son of a bitch!  Here in California we get only ONE year of reprieve from jury duty if we're instructed to appear, regardless of whether you actually get chosen to sit on a jury.   

Several years ago I went through the motions to get excused from jury duty, and was successful; didn't need to show up.  A month later I got another jury duty notice and had to go through the bullshit all over again.  And it's gotten worse since then--these days you pretty much have to be near death before they'll excuse you.  Officially they say you can be excused if "you have a physical or mental impairment", or if "serving would be an extreme financial burden", but those are lies.  If you can think and communicate, even if you're nothing more than a head on a stick, they want you to show up, and they don't care how much of a "financial burden" it is for you.

A friend of mine says he just shows up and tells the judge; "As far as I'm concerned, the mother fucker is guilty!"

...hasn't worked yet!

Yeah, they don't play that shit here.  In fact, if you're enough of a dick they'll charge you with contempt of court (or some such) and either lock you up or give you a heavy fine.   

[Zero]

Amongst my small circle of co-workers we have noticed an interesting pattern. We all seem to get called for jury about 3 months after getting a minor traffic citation.

I really don't mind going and spending the day meeting different people and seeing new sites, but they will never pick me because I have so many relatives that like to throw coffee cups at dudes heads (professionally). I think we are clear for 3 years here after we show up.

[CyberDude]

Yeah the holy jury executioner or whatever her title was explained it to us. She said that as long as people are actually coming in when they're summoned, it allows for there to be that massive pool of constant jurors available at all times. That's why we get called every 8 years here in New York. But if you're getting called in every 1 year than that means you guys in California are slacking. But that's cool, that's cool.

[Reverend Al]

...I really don't mind going and spending the day meeting different people and seeing new sites, but they will never pick me because I have so many relatives that like to throw coffee cups at dudes heads (professionally)...

The last time I was told to appear for jury duty I was selected as a potential juror.  The moment the defense attorneys heard I have three LEOs in my family they couldn't dismiss me fast enough.

...But if you're getting called in every 1 year than that means you guys in California are slacking...

Damn straight!  Civic duty my ass.  Most companies here don't pay you for your time away if you get assigned to a jury, so you lose your wages for every hour you're not at work.  Then they (the state) pay jurors $15 per day starting on the second day, but the local garages around the courts charge you at least $25 to park your car.  And they're supposed to pay jurors a minimum of 34 cents per mile of travel, but that's only for one-way travel.  Living in California is already expensive enough, and they expect us to lose money by sitting on a jury?  Where's the incentive to be a juror?

[BikerDude]

Just finished my first experience of jury duty as a Dudeist...They didn't call my name, got discharged, and no jury duty worries for 8 years!

I just got out of it.  Got called just before the Holidays and they dismissed everyone.  So I'm good for another 6 years...

8 years???  6 years???  Son of a bitch!  Here in California we get only ONE year of reprieve from jury duty if we're instructed to appear, regardless of whether you actually get chosen to sit on a jury.   

Six years here. I believe it varies by county in NY.
But federal law is supposed to be.

Under Federal law, a person cannot be required to serve jury duty more often than once every two (2) years. If you have served in the United States District Court or a New York State Court within the last two (2) years, and wish to be excused, please mail a copy of your official jury certificate, together with our summons, in the return envelope.

[Reverend Al]

8 years???  6 years???  Son of a bitch!  Here in California we get only ONE year of reprieve from jury duty if we're instructed to appear, regardless of whether you actually get chosen to sit on a jury.   

Six years here. I believe it varies by county in NY.
But federal law is supposed to be.

Under Federal law, a person cannot be required to serve jury duty more often than once every two (2) years. If you have served in the United States District Court or a New York State Court within the last two (2) years, and wish to be excused, please mail a copy of your official jury certificate, together with our summons, in the return envelope.

That's interesting.  This is directly from the courts.ca.gov website:  "California has one-day or one-trial jury service.  This means that people are not required to come to court for more than one day of jury duty unless they are assigned to a courtroom for jury selection, or serve on a trial, more than once every 12 months.  Typically if you are not chosen for jury selection after one day at the courthouse then your service is done for at least one year.  If you are selected to serve on a jury, after the trial is over your service is also completed for at least a year and often longer."  Clearly they use the term "at least", but the fact that they mention a 12-month/one year time period seems to contradict Federal law.

[BayonneNJDude]

I have Grand Jury dudey in April here in NJ. If you get picked it's every Friday for 12 weeks. 

[CyberDude]

I have Grand Jury dudey in April here in NJ. If you get picked it's every Friday for 12 weeks.  :(

I heard Grand Jury is kind of cool though. It's like a day off for 12 weeks. Just help to decide if something should go to trial or not, not an actual trial. I heard it's not as stressful.

[mrpaddy]

Never been called for jury duty.. Shame, I wouldn't mind some time off work and a change of scene on someone else's dime.

That being said if the case was some disturbing pederast shit or some trivial nonsense involving motoring I'd probably find a way out of it.

[Judd Dude]

I got called once. Managed to duck the first few requests then the summons showed up so I figured fuck man I guess I better go.

Was a total waste of time too, spent the day waiting in a huge room with a bunch of mouth-breathers. Finally when I went in, I asked the judge for dismissal based on financial hardship(no bullshit- I had just started a new job days prior and was struggling to make my house payment) but the fuck didn't want to hear any of it and said no.
I sat down and tried to keep from boiling over. Minutes passed, and then the defending lawyer decided he thought I spelled trouble and asked the judge for me to be dismissed. He obliged and I walked out. I guess dressing like a greaser(I was full on back then)payed off that day.

[Masked Dude]

I've been called a few times. Wasn't bad. I just liked the last one because the judge was in his last month before his mandatory retirement and was an ornery bastard.

During recess, we told George the bailiff/deputy that it was so hard not to laugh. We knew we'd get contempt. He said he had to hold back, too.

[LarrySellers97]

... the whole concept of age, I mean many learned men have disputed this, But in the 14th century . . The Rambam