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Author Topic: inlaws  (Read 5335 times)

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Rev. Dudeski

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inlaws
« on: March 01, 2010, 10:41:03 AM »
My sister in law left my brother because she claims she isn't happy.  She got hooked on prescription pain killers, impersonated a doctor to keep getting the script filled, got caught and cost my brother his cop job and ruined his name.  She winds up in rehab and get's probation.  He stood by her through all this and now this junkie bitch aint happy and leaves him.  They also have a four year old son that now has a broken home because this LOSER can't stay off the drugs and alcohol.  I keep telling him to divorce her but he wont do it.   Sorry for being so undude but I love my brother and to see this junkie bitch ruin his life is almost unbearable. ???  and while I'm at it I can't stand my mother in law either, she treats my wife like shit and tries to control everything we do, so fuck her to!
Abiding

Caesar dude

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Re: inlaws
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2010, 02:24:06 PM »
Hey man I aint gonna try and use levity or brevity here. Cos neither are appropriate. I don't have any answers to this and won't pretend that I have.

I don't know you as a person....I certainly cannot know you as a friend but I do know that we share an ideal which in your case is being sorely tested right now.

I am not being trite or dishonest when I say that I feel what you are going through...I sincerely hope that things get better for your brother and that he can find the strength to do whatever it is that he needs to do to find a solution.

The choices he makes are his alone to make and although you can make your opinion known you cannot and should not try and force him to do anything. Love in whatever form it takes is extremely powerful and at the moment he is held by it.

Your situation is under your control and what you can do is to sit down very calmly, first with your wife stating what you feel....but do not have any emotional or vested income in the outcome...that is very important...your wife has choices to make too (does she feel the same way you do?) Once you have BOTH decided what you want and what you feel would be a desirable outcome then you must both do the same thing with your mother in Law and explain (without emotion..ie calmly and concisely) what your grievances and issues are.

Your mother in law might not even realise there is a problem and never will unless you talk to her....Communication in this instance is key.

I hope you can find a solution here Dude and I wish you well.

Peace Dudeski.
Love is like a butterfly it goes where it pleases and it pleases where it goes. :)

Rev. Dudeski

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Re: inlaws
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2010, 03:10:51 PM »
Appreciate the reply Caesar dude,

My wife avoids her mom as much as possible.  I used to be the one to tell my wife that she needs to communicate with her mom more and let things go until I seen how the bitch really is.  I mean this woman told my wife and I to piss in our daughters ear then blow smoke in it to cure her earache, because this dipshit she's married to said that's the thing to do.  It's not just us saying this, it's my wife's  brothers and sister and cousins and my entire family and purty much anybody that knows my mother in law attempts to avoid her.

As with my brother he seeked my advice so I let him know what I thought.  It's been a long time coming and he don't want to face reality.  There again, I'm not the only one telling him to divorce her,  this junkies own parents are telling him to get rid of her.
 
But I do appreciate your advice and you are right, the choices he makes are his alone.   I just got on here to let it out so I didn't go and do something completely undude and outright stupid.  You are far out man, your post actually shedded some new light and brought back my mellow.   Peace to you as well Caesar dude. ;D
Abiding

Rev. Ed C

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Re: inlaws
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2010, 06:59:33 PM »
Sometimes troubles seem less after a good vent.  I hope that's the case here.  It's often the case the pressure of a problem skews your perceptions until you let some of it out.  Vent, step back, breathe, and abide :)  Now you're in the right place.

Yeah, motherinlaws can be a handful sometimes.  Some people are just natural antagonists, and some are unaware of what they're doing as they genuinely believe they're trying to do right.  I've been in a semi-similar situation and it took some working through (my special lady moving out and in with me helped ease the situation a lot with that one), but one of the best ways to abide people is to understand and empathise, although that's always hardest when that person's so close up and in your face, committing stresspasses against you.  I know it's hard, but sometimes an aggressor needs to be nurtured rather than retaliated against, and I don't know if that applies here, but by telling us you've tried to get your wife and her mother closer means you were probably on that track already.

As for your brother, you can only help another man so much with this sort of thing.  Talking through as you did is always best, support without lecturing.  Pressing a man in crisis will always lead him in the wrong direction as he panics, so kudos to you.  At the end of the day it's his decision of what to do, but I'm sure it's a hell of a lot easier for him with a brother there to help him through, whatever happens.

I wish you well with your family troubles Dudeski.  I defy any man to tell me he's not had them.
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Uberdude

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Re: inlaws
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2010, 08:39:40 PM »
Not undudely at all.  I can't stand my sister-in-law.  She is a manipulative user who has the bimbo act down so well she has most of my family fooled.  She has just about turned my brother against me and I hardly see my nephews.  Me and my Aunt and Uncle are the only ones that see through her crap and they're too nice to say anything.  As far as I'm concerned, the only good thing she ever did was have my nephews and they were both "accidents".  Pretty sure the first one was just an attempt to trap my brother since it had been 7 years he kept promising marriage and never delivered.  She sucks.  Feel free to vent about in-laws to me when ever you like, dude.
"New shit has come to light."  I'm just not privy to it....

 

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