The Dudeism Forum

Hey dudes, I got a little problem here.

I've struggled with depression and anxiety intermittently for a few years now. This summer I've been feeling really chilled, just hanging out in the sun, reading, playing the guitar, even managing to meet friends for some oat sodas a few times. However since September came around I've just been feeling kinda down. Not terribly so, I can still enjoy the same shit I did in the summer, but not quite as much if I'm as honest. When I see the sky all grey it just really gets me down, I'm really missing just going out for a walk in the sun. I'm trying to just abide it and get through the winter the same as I always do, but it seems to get a bit more difficult each year for some reason. I'm trying to think what Dude would do but I'm not really sure. I'm wondering if you guys can help me out by suggesting something, sharing an experience, or maybe just making me laugh in some other way.

Peace

Sorry to hear about your struggle dude. Sounds like you might have a bit of seasonal affective disorder (sad). There's a lot of info available out there on this and if it's really getting to you speak to your doctor about a phsyc consult. Nothing to be ashamed of in getting some help dude, in fact I note we have a few members who could perhaps help.

Hey Dude,

I get the same sort of winter blues, man. I read this inspiring book at the beginning of last winter called The Forest Unseen, by this guy who goes out to the same 1X1 plot of land periodically throughout the year and just observes the changes. He writes about the ecological significance of it all, and how it's all necessary in the big scheme of things. You realize that even in the dead of winter the world is teeming with life. It helped me to realize that winter isn't something to hide from, but actually something to embrace, if for no other reason than it sets the stage for the joys of spring and summer.

I guess the big idea here, man, is to try to figure out ways to appreciate the differences between seasons and embrace them in whatever way you can. The joys of mulled wine? Winter naps with the cat? Christmas? No use fighting the changing of the seasons, relax into them and find something to look forward to each day.

Hope that helps, man! If that doesn't work, there are those lights that help with seasonal affective disorder.  :)

I'm with MindAbiding on this one. On the surface, Winter can be a real downer, but if you really take a look around its all actually quite beautiful. Its not as idyllic as the summer or spring (the best season), but its there and its important. I would try appreciating it for what it is: a chance for things to begin again (spring).

Try reading up on wabi-sabi. its a type of aestheticism that revolves around the beauty the of old, worn and imperfect.

Hopefully this was helpful. Not sure if you had some other reason for your depression you'd rather explore.

:)

Sorry to hear about your seasonal affective disorder, friendly neighbour from Albion. We can not always live a shinny and warm day, weither spiritual or physical.

Somehow, you have to feel the bottom of a gutter from time to time, to really enjoy the strikes you get.

hey dude, I know that feel of struggling for abidance, but don't let the weather affect it.

There's a russian saying that goes 'Nature has no bad weather'. It's all nature and it's all beautiful in its own way. Once you start thinking like that you'll enjoy all of the seasons a bit more, even on gloomy rainy days.

helped me for sure, I even started going on walks during the rain. What's the worst thing that can happen? you go back home, take a shower and dry your clothes, that's it. But during the walk you feel incredibly free just strolling without a care and letting the raindrops soak through you while watching people running and hiding from what you genuinely enjoy. I mean, people would run around in the rain laughing after a long draught, so why not enjoy it when it just happens? It's all about perspective, man :)

There's plenty of bad stuff happening around, so be happy it doesn't bother you directly and don't let weather become one of them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiI5uyt6L6s (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiI5uyt6L6s)

Thanks for all the replies dudes. I reckon I'm going to get myself one of those special lights, and try and remember the whole strikes and gutters thing. Thankfully the sun's out at this very moment, but at least when it's gone I can  look forward to next time. I'll look forward to Christmas too, it really is the most dudely holiday when you take the whole Jesus thing out of the equation (well in my personal opinion).

Peace

Hey Dude,

Man have to tell you I thought I was reading one of my posts at first when I read yours!
I totally understand your gloominess during winter months as I experience the same thing. For me all it equates to is putting away things I love to do(motorcycles, boat) and doing things I don't like doing like snow blowing and scraping ice off of car windows each morning. I know it's hard not to look at the negatives because they're so in your face, but all I can say is just try to stay positive, and maybe try some fun indoor activities such as bowling or music. My lady friend and I love the summer and outdoors, so we never really bowl during these months, but when old man winter rears his ugly head we say fuck it and hit the lanes once in a while. Fun stuff. Maybe go ice skating if you want to do something fun outdoors...
The whole light deprivation thing is real too, and getting a full spectrum bulb or two might help you. I get the same glum feeling when I go without sun on my face for too long, which is easy in the grey winter months.

Hang in there Dude, and remember we're all here for ya anytime you wanna blather.

Later,

J.

I find a key is to have activities that can keep a dude limber.
Sounds like you play guitar.
How bout multi track recording. I used to do a lot of that in a home studio.
The new technology permits us to do exciting things with
interactive software.  Wave of the future, Dude.  100% electronic.

Also I've known people that tended toward seasonal depression that have found vitamin D to really help.
http://www.northjersey.com/news/116795608_Vitamin_D_recommended_to_combat_Seasonal_Affective_Disorder.html (http://www.northjersey.com/news/116795608_Vitamin_D_recommended_to_combat_Seasonal_Affective_Disorder.html)

Yes, vitamin D and - one that has saved my ass - rhodiola rosea.  I used to get into really deep funks... I concluded that because there was really nothing wrong with my life externally (okay health, good job, great marriage, etc.) that it must be a chemical thing.  For me, the stuff is magic.

We're all rootin' for you dude. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing.

I've struggled with depression almost my entire life. What bothers me the most, and thankfully no one here has said it, is when some people either say "I was depressed once" or "You just have to decide not to be depressed." I wish it were that easy, just waking up and saying today it's all over. But stay in the fight, and there will be a better way. :)

As few as two modest concussions can cause chronic depression. If people keep getting hit in the head their reaction is to slowly withdraw to a defensible corner and randomly attack anything that enters the room. Apparently our brains and senses and feelings are all cross wired in some sort of bizarre recursive fractal networking fashion. The "all" within the "one" kind of trippy recursive crap that dudes love when they get high. Sort of multi-tools within multi-tools all obeying the laws of nature. Depression sucks, but so does dying a lot of people say and I've known a few who might not have died if they were depressed. Weird to think about huh?

Quote from: Masked Dude on September 19, 2013, 05:47:01 PM
I've struggled with depression almost my entire life. What bothers me the most, and thankfully no one here has said it, is when some people either say "I was depressed once" or "You just have to decide not to be depressed." I wish it were that easy, just waking up and saying today it's all over. But stay in the fight, and there will be a better way. :)

I took their medication for about eight months.

My problem was it turned off all the voices in my head.

This is not a good thing because they are the main driving force to my creativity.

I spent months playing Eve Online, and was actually watching day time TV and not shouting at it.

It's the closest to being normal I have ever been.

After eight months I stopped taking the pills and it's only now the voices are beginning to talk to me again.

I have good days and I have bad days, but I can't go back to the pills again.

I am careful what games I play as too much of certain games just drive me down (I like Fallout 3 but after a few hours of all that death and greyness I need to put it down for a rest), I also don't watch a lot of "cop" shows as they get really depressing as well (have you noticed even Kojak ends on a downer every episode).

One thing I found when I was on the pills was the amazing number of other people i knew who were also taking medication for depression.

I got over the major cause of mine because it was the job I was doing (Boss didn't know what she was doing, blame culture at work, just drove me down), I left the company, but as i said even now years later I still feel that the pills have damaged some of my talents, and as i said I still have good days and bad days (when I can't even leave the house).

Quote from: meekon5 on September 26, 2013, 09:52:52 AM

Quote from: Masked Dude on September 19, 2013, 05:47:01 PM
I've struggled with depression almost my entire life. What bothers me the most, and thankfully no one here has said it, is when some people either say "I was depressed once" or "You just have to decide not to be depressed." I wish it were that easy, just waking up and saying today it's all over. But stay in the fight, and there will be a better way. :)

I took their medication for about eight months.

My problem was it turned off all the voices in my head.

This is not a good thing because they are the main driving force to my creativity.

I spent months playing Eve Online, and was actually watching day time TV and not shouting at it.

It's the closest to being normal I have ever been.

After eight months I stopped taking the pills and it's only now the voices are beginning to talk to me again.

I have good days and I have bad days, but I can't go back to the pills again.

I am careful what games I play as too much of certain games just drive me down (I like Fallout 3 but after a few hours of all that death and greyness I need to put it down for a rest), I also don't watch a lot of "cop" shows as they get really depressing as well (have you noticed even Kojak ends on a downer every episode).

One thing I found when I was on the pills was the amazing number of other people i knew who were also taking medication for depression.

I got over the major cause of mine because it was the job I was doing (Boss didn't know what she was doing, blame culture at work, just drove me down), I left the company, but as i said even now years later I still feel that the pills have damaged some of my talents, and as i said I still have good days and bad days (when I can't even leave the house).

Dude!! ;D Sounds like you have some awesome flashbacks there, M5, completely unspoiled!

I fell down a flight of basement stairs at three years old and ended up in a coma for a week. Most people never wake up from a coma after being in one that long. As a result I'm epileptic, have no sense of smell, difficulty remembering numbers and names and so on. That kind of brain damage causes chronic depression and if the damage persists the individual will retreat into a defensible corner and attack anything living that comes near them. If more damage occurs, they curl up into a fetal ball and become totally nonresponsive. Being mentally and physically abused by my parents in bizarre ways since the age of five did not help. However, it did teach me that most people have no clue about what the hell they are talking about including academia who resemble the Three Stooges calling each other stupid, insisting the other guy doesn't know the meaning of the word, and the dictionary is wrong. I've always known the chances of someone finding a miracle for me in my lifetime is almost nonexistent and I have to rely on pulling myself up by my own bootstraps.

Following my own intuition, while diving headlong into reading everything I could about basic science such as physics I invented my own philosophy. Along the way I found some inspirational people such as the Option Institute who bring new meaning to words such as love and, for over 40 years now, have made a mockery of academia and mainstream society merely by loving people and telling their stories. One story is that of the first child in north America, Mimi, diagnosed anorexic from birth.

Despite a loving family with at least half a dozen older thriving siblings, little Mimi never seemed to enjoy eating and, at six months old, refused to nurse. Over the next three years doctors shoved tubes down her throat while she struggled and, eventually, drilled a hole right through to her stomach and inserted a tube to feed her. At three and half years old this little girl who had never spoken a word shoved her hand down her throat and threw up what they fed her. They restrained her after feeding her, but the doctors finally admitted her digestive tract was atrophying and she would not survive much longer. Her mother refused to give up on her and, upon visiting the library, found a book by the Option Institute. After reading the first page she just somehow knew this was the miracle she had been looking for. I had the same experience reading merely the first paragraphs of one of their books although, it was merely one step along my path and not some sort of cure for everything that ails me.

When Mimi went to the Option Institute they did the stupidest thing that everyone else considered immoral and insane. They refused to force feed her and, instead, rounded up 14 volunteers who did 24 hour round the clock two hour shifts with the girl merely attempting to get her come out of her shell and play. After two weeks one of them said he believed he had made a connection so they all agreed he would be the first. He walked into the room with her and ate a banana in front of her. She asked for some and within a week she was stuffing her face at every opportunity. If anyone is interested, they teach a philosophy of unconditional love based on the idea that, "To Love is to be Happy With", to be accepting, nonjudgmental, and embracing. Their books are almost exclusively stories about how they do that and you can read them for free online or buy a paper back from them for six bucks.

You inspire me dude... really. I respect your tenacity, and tip of the hat to the single most important thing on this earth.  Love.

Quote from: Hominid on September 27, 2013, 08:14:32 PM
You inspire me dude... really. I respect your tenacity, and tip of the hat to the single most important thing on this earth.  Love.

I never really considered it a choice!

In my twenties I could not figure out why I couldn't bring myself to commit suicide so I said, "Fuck it!" I sold everything I owned, grabbed my guitar, and lived on the streets for the next two years. Best decision I ever made. :)

After that the question became, "Why do I want to live so much?" Today even that question doesn't matter to me anymore because I have found my path.

I have had a long fight with depression a lot of ups and downs. One thing that has really grounded me is photography I never really appreciated what was around me until you start looking for photo shots. I started online and found shots I liked then went out to recreate them myself or make my own just playing with the settings and what have you. Changes how you see everything it helps me cope.

I keep an white LED lamp over my computer monitor aimed at my face.  Certainly helps when I'm in the office for long periods, especially in the winter when it's dark.  The office has a skylight, but if it's dark outside that doesn't help.

wuliheron dude, awesome words, mang, awesome words. 8)(http://dudeism.com/smf/Themes/default/images/post/thumbup.gif)