I am a proud Dudeist reverend for 7 months now I have counseled over a dozen people led a good friend to Dudeism and have led another friend in to marriage. But now I am about to step up and do my first funeral / celebration of life but it is going to be hard for me as this is my 2 year old son that passed away and I really need some guidance as this is not something I can just take easy or abide by. If you could get back with me I would greatly appreciate it.
Reverend Paul H. Purdy
Condolences dude. As a smarter fella than me once sang:
"whatever's written in your heart, that's all that matters."
As a paterfamilias myself, I can understand the turmoil your going through but my words come from no experience and are perhaps hollow.
Celebrate him, really celebrate him, laugh and cry, don't drink too much cause the pain is still there at the bottom of the bottle, and find the way to keep the door in your heart to him open.
peace brother
Quote from: revpurdy on July 09, 2012, 03:26:50 AM
I am a proud Dudeist reverend for 7 months now I have counseled over a dozen people led a good friend to Dudeism and have led another friend in to marriage. But now I am about to step up and do my first funeral / celebration of life but it is going to be hard for me as this is my 2 year old son that passed away and I really need some guidance as this is not something I can just take easy or abide by. If you could get back with me I would greatly appreciate it.
Reverend Paul H. Purdy
First dude, welcome to our quiet beach community. And also, deepest sympathies on the lost of your son. I can't imagine how that must feel. One thing I would say is to celebrate his life no matter the age of his passing. All life, no matter how long, is a gift.
Deepest simpathy's dude.
I'm sure you'll do fine presiding over the funeral as a father without concern for Dudeism.
Condolences dude.
When I did this for my stepfather I just thought about all the memories that each of my brothers and Sisters (Mum, aunts, friends) and I shared of my stepfather and just wove them into a speech.
Just in case you want to look at that text I put it here:
http://meekon5.blogspot.co.uk/2008/09/in-memory-of-jk-burningham.html
Man, I'm so sorry to hear about this. My condolences go to you and your family. Most people would have someone else officiate at the funeral of their own son. Are you sure you want to do it? Might be nice to take the backseat on this one? Then again, it would be a lovely gift to the memory of your son. Perhaps the best thing would be to remember little moments you experienced with him, things you noticed, funny memories. That way he will live on in everyone's minds. I made the mistake of doing an overly lugubrious funeral speech at the funeral of my best friend about ten years ago. Another guy did one which was funny and celebrated his memory instead of mourning the loss. I'd wished I'd gone that way. Seemed like he was giving something instead of taking it away. Just my opinion, though. I think everyone else thought it was fine.
If you wanted to talk about abiding, you could talk about the quality of steadfastness and what it means to you. Maybe that to abide means not only to take it easy in life, but to take it easy in death as well. Life is a mixed bag and it always takes us by surprise when catastrophe strikes. But it always does and we have to struggle to shake off the shock and confront it with love and humility. It's so easy to get lulled into a false sense of security. I lost my mom in February and I'm still struggling to make sense of it.
Best of luck. I'm sure you'll do a great job. If you want to share what you say here it would be a gift to the Dudeist community. But of course, I can understand if you'd rather keep it private. Either way, we're all behind you.
Sorry dude...I cannot imagine....whale songs dude...whale songs.
this is a concept of the tattoo i will be getting in his memory no words is going to be spaced out so it doesn't look like one word but yeah
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Way cool, dude. A worthy tattoo.
ok seeing as well i love public speaking and all but i don't think i can do this live i will be recording it and have a video to play i will up-lode it on youtube and post it here for any one that would like to hear about my little dude.
My sincere condolences. All I can say. And my deepest respect for your strength. I doubt I could even find one word if something like this happened to me.
RevPurdy-
the depth of emotion on this one... well all i can say is that i sorta know what you are going through: my mom, the person who taught me how to be a good human being- i had to watch her die of stomach cancer in less than nine months... not comparing... just saying: my heart, love, and compassion goes out to you and yours.
ok i cant post the link right now i will find a way to share it
Quote from: revpurdy on July 13, 2012, 05:02:58 AM
ok i cant post the link right now i will find a way to share it
Send me the link I'll put it in (the thread) for you.
ok i can post the link now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17gi4Lxvefk
Again, my condolences and thanks that you decided to share this with us. Deepest respect.