I was having a beer down by the water when a group of cops on bikes pulled up and next thing I know I have a friggin court date in August at 8:30 in the morning on the other side of town and i'm broke and dont drive.....fuckin bummer man. Uggh.
Quote from: Turtle on July 02, 2008, 12:01:42 AM
I was having a beer down by the water when a group of cops on bikes pulled up and next thing I know I have a friggin court date in August at 8:30 in the morning on the other side of town and i'm broke and dont drive.....fuckin bummer man. Uggh.
This aggression will not stand, man! Fucking nazis, nothing ever changes.
I'm really bummed out, I mean its been a long time (over a decade?) since I had any run in with police, sure there was the time a couple months ago, when the cop tried to stop me for riding my bicycle on the sidewalk, but he was on foot and easily outrun since i was on a bike. ;D
The beer was sitting on the edge of the river, and i should have just knocked it in the river as soon as I saw the cops but i didnt.
The bummer is the whole ridiculous concept that there were bars all along the street and if i was a mere few hundred feet over and inside one of the bars, i could drink a beer in the open with no problems. But I was outside the bar (trying to save money) and so now I was written up for what is checked off as a "Criminal" citation.
The whole lack of logic, the fact that this is just another reminder that we live in a world run by force and not reason. That a simple technicality of where you stand in space while you drink a beer can make you a criminal or not a criminal. Just the whole goddamn ridiculousness of the system that we take so seriously, THAT has me bummed man, and the fact that I am NOT more powerful than it, I am NOT smarter, I am NOT able to live without being subject to it.
I know many people have much worse problems and things to deal with than a citation for drinking a beer in public, I know its just the stress talking, so I'm sorry for bitching, just a bummer man.
Fucking fascist! Never change.
In the following picture a bunch of real reactionaries from my country.
(http://www.culturaenmovimiento.cl/fotos/sitio2007/fotos/11sept_stuart_web/PACOS%201%20_1.gif)
Its like high school on a world-sized level.
Bullies. Eight-year-olds.
http://www.benfrank.net/nuke/ftaa112003/Police_Brutality_in_Miami.html
When you stand before the fucking judge, T-dude, use the words of the dude and the flick...
I know my rights, man, you fucking fascist. You real reactionary. Ahhh, you got an Kahlua? Oh yeah, far fucking out, man. Look, let me explain something. I'm not the Judge; you're the Judge. I'm the Turtle. So that's what you call me. That, or Turtler. His Turtleness. Or El Turtlerino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing. So Judge, you fucks got any leads? I mean are you gonna find these cops? Well, okay, you're not privy to all the new shit, so uh, you know, but that's what you pay me for. Speaking of which, would it be possible for me to get my twenty grand in cash? I gotta check this with my accountant of course, but my concern is that, you know, it could bump me into a higher tax. Judge, I mean, is this your homework you fucking brat?! Come on, sir, no one is gonna cut my dick off. Get a job, sir, the bum judges will always lose! You hear me your honor, THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE!! You want a beer? I can get you a beer, believe me. There are ways, Judge. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Shut the fuck up and mark it eight, you pederast!
I see you rolled your way into the court room. Deos mio, Judge. Seamus and me, we're gonna fuck you up. Let me tell you something, Judge bendeco. You pull any your crazy shit with me, you flash a piece out on the court room, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger til it goes "click". You said it, Judge. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
By the time you have dropped all of that shit on the judge, the crazy fuck will probably forget what the hell you are in court for and drop the charges.
Its worth a try :D
K i got it dbuddha, printed it out and folded it up with the citation, i'll let u know how it goes....
:P
Quote from: Turtle on July 03, 2008, 02:23:23 AM
K i got it dbuddha, printed it out and folded it up with the citation, i'll let u know how it goes....
:P
You might want to pass this by Ron Kuby first, though. ;)
Quote from: Turtle on July 03, 2008, 02:23:23 AM
K i got it dbuddha, printed it out and folded it up with the citation, i'll let u know how it goes....
:P
Report back to us when you are done. Your life in your hands, dude. Your life is in your hands.
Also, dude...beer is not the preferred nomenclature, "oat soda," please.
Hey, I gotta an idea...tell the judge that it was an oat soda, NOT a beer.
"Judge, lets not forget, LETS NOT FORGET, it was an oat soda, NOT a beer.
Dbuddha, would you be available to come down in person to represent me?
Also, don't forget the uzi. We can't roll into that courtroom naked.
I could see the Oat Soda defense working.
Or show him that you're an ordained minister in the latter-day church of the dude and hope that he is a member of the religion.
Quote from: Garheart on July 03, 2008, 06:14:57 PM
I could see the Oat Soda defense working.
Or show him that you're an ordained minister in the latter-day church of the dude and hope that he is a member of the religion.
Yeah, great idea, Turtle could tell the judge...that fucking human paraquat, that strumpet, that nazi behind the bench...that drinking an oat soda on the beach at night was part of the religion of Dudeism and that doing so was a sacrament and therefore protected by the US Constitution. Turtle knows his rights, man. This aggression will not stand, man!
The judge... how do you pled, Turtle?
Turtle... Let me tell you something, bendeco...All you needed was a sap to pin it on, and you'd just met me. You thought, hey, a deadbeat, a loser, someone the square community won't give a shit about. BUT NO, The Turtle abides, It's all over, man! We call your fucking bluff!
The judge... Did the cops pee on your rug?
Turtle...They peed on my rug. And we're talking about unchecked aggression here, man.
The judge... Across this line you do not...?
Turtle... Fucking a, mind if I burn a J?
The judge... They peed on the Turtle's rug.
Turtle... Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit. This Cop who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill so what the fuck are you talking about?
The judge... Turtle is awarded 20 Grand, man.
Turtle... I dig the way you do business, judge.
DigitalBuddha... My point, Turtle, is why should we settle for twenty grand when we can keep the entire million. Am I wrong?
Turtle... I'm just gonna go find a cash machine, later judge.............
The judge...Case closed, fuck it, I'm going bowling.
...........Fucking Judge--that creep can roll, man--
Quote from: Turtle on July 03, 2008, 06:09:02 PM
Dbuddha, would you be available to come down in person to represent me?
Also, don't forget the uzi. We can't roll into that courtroom naked.
Your wheel, Turtle! I'm rolling out! Your wheel! At fifteen em-pee-aitch I roll out! I double back, grab the judge and beat it out of him!
Quote from: digitalbuddha on July 04, 2008, 02:46:26 AM
Quote from: Garheart on July 03, 2008, 06:14:57 PM
I could see the Oat Soda defense working.
Or show him that you're an ordained minister in the latter-day church of the dude and hope that he is a member of the religion.
Yeah, great idea, Turtle could tell the judge...that fucking human paraquat, that strumpet, that nazi behind the bench...that drinking an oat soda on the beach at night was part of the religion of Dudeism and that doing so was a sacrament and therefore protected by the US Constitution. Turtle knows his rights, man. This aggression will not stand, man!
Fuckin A, man. The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!
Quote from: Garheart on July 03, 2008, 06:14:57 PM
I could see the Oat Soda defense working.
Or show him that you're an ordained minister in the latter-day church of the dude and hope that he is a member of the religion.
or try to convert him...
Quote from: Dude1967 on July 04, 2008, 09:52:48 AM
Quote from: Garheart on July 03, 2008, 06:14:57 PM
I could see the Oat Soda defense working.
Or show him that you're an ordained minister in the latter-day church of the dude and hope that he is a member of the religion.
or try to convert him...
To the tenants of national socialism? ...hey, at least its an ethos. Kinda undude, but an ethos none the less.
I just hope the judge doesn't ask me if its my homework.
Actually....fuck that....dudes....what if the judge is a nihilist?
:o :'(
Quote from: Turtle on July 04, 2008, 08:20:40 PM
I just hope the judge doesn't ask me if its my homework.
Actually....fuck that....dudes....what if the judge is a nihilist?
:o :'(
Well Turtle, we just don't know. Perhaps..................
All right, Plan B. You might want to watch out the front window there, Judge.
This is what happens when you FUCK a STRANGER in the ASS, Judge.
YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, JUDGE!
YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS?!
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS, JUDGE!
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS! WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!
...................we are sympathizing here, Turtle.
Fuck sympathy, I need my johnson.
Quote from: Turtle on July 05, 2008, 08:06:04 AM
Fuck sympathy, I need my johnson.
What do you need that for, Dude?
Quote from: Turtle on July 05, 2008, 08:06:04 AM
Fuck sympathy, I need my johnson.
;D You gotta buck up, man, you can't go into the court with this negative attitude--
Fuck the court and fuck you Walter.
By the way, does anybody know anything about this kinda shit?
I was thinking I should take some character reference letters into court
with me from some people I know, does the Judge accept that?
Also, would any of you Dudes like to right a character reference for me?
Quote from: Turtle on July 05, 2008, 06:07:41 PM
Fuck the court and fuck you Walter.
Fuck the judge? Okay Dude. I can see you don't want to be cheered up. C'mon Donny, let's go get a lane.
Friends like these Gary.
:(
So I had court today.
There was a bunch of us there for the open bottle charge.
It seems there's a new fascist in town, a cop who just shipped in
from the mainland and is tryin to make a name for himself.
The worst of all was this little 80 year old japanese man
and his cute little wife, I cannot believe this fascist cop
actually cited this poor little old man for having an open
container, what a dick! The poor little guy hobbled up in
front of the judge, and when the judge asked his age and
the old man said 80, I was like, damn, this fucking fascist, this
cop, this fucking pig, what a prick!!
Even the judge, after hearing this cop's name over and over
again, you could see in his face, he was like....ugh....somebody's gotta
do something about this guy.
Anyway, they gave us all 2 choices:
1 - plead guilty or no contest and accept an $80 fine.
2 - plead not guilty and come back again for a trial
I might have been able to get the charge dismissed if i pleaded not guilty
and came back, but i wanted to get it over with and everybody was taking the deal.
so i told them, ok, no contest, i'm just gonna go find a cash machine.
Fucking looters, fucking fascists, $80 is dinner for a whole week.
And lets not forget, lets not forget, the Turtle is a criminal now dudes,
an oat soda drinker....with a record.
Fucking fascist man.
Quote from: Turtle on August 07, 2008, 05:56:57 PM
So I had court today.
There was a bunch of us there for the open bottle charge.
It seems there's a new fascist in town, a cop who just shipped in
from the mainland and is tryin to make a name for himself.
The worst of all was this little 80 year old japanese man
and his cute little wife, I cannot believe this fascist cop
actually cited this poor little old man for having an open
container, what a dick! The poor little guy hobbled up in
front of the judge, and when the judge asked his age and
the old man said 80, I was like, damn, this fucking fascist, this
cop, this fucking pig, what a prick!!
Even the judge, after hearing this cop's name over and over
again, you could see in his face, he was like....ugh....somebody's gotta
do something about this guy.
Anyway, they gave us all 2 choices:
1 - plead guilty or no contest and accept an $80 fine.
2 - plead not guilty and come back again for a trial
I might have been able to get the charge dismissed if i pleaded not guilty
and came back, but i wanted to get it over with and everybody was taking the deal.
so i told them, ok, no contest, i'm just gonna go find a cash machine.
Fucking looters, fucking fascists, $80 is dinner for a whole week.
And lets not forget, lets not forget, the Turtle is a criminal now dudes,
an oat soda drinker....with a record.
Well dude, we just don't know. Fighting the reactionary fucking undude cop might have been the way to go, but at least the god damned plane didn't crash into the mountain and the judge toss you into the can, man. You know your rights, man. Either way, the court shit is over.
Here is a hint...in most states, if you don't fuck up and get busted again, you can request that your record be expunged of the conviction (which I presume was a misdemeanor). You go down to the court and request the paperwork, pay a buck or two, file the paper work (i.e., you serve the prosecutor's office with the paperwork and it will then come before the judge. If you have been a clean dude for the duration of your probation (or a bit longer in some states), the conviction will be ordered by the court expunged. having it expunged will mean that it is more or less like it didn't happen, and the record of such will no longer be public. It is NOT a reversal of the conviction, only a cleaning of your record.
See - http://www.thelaw.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-1534.html
And - http://www.expunge-criminal-records.com/reducing-felony-to-misdmeanor.html
A fucking 80 year old dude...that's like fucked up totally! jesus!
And, T-dude, "old japanese man" is not the preferred nomenclature; Asian American, please.
The "old japanese man" is not the issue here, it's unchecked aggression perpetrated by a little dick, donut eatin, masculinity threatened, bull necked, smacked ass, embarrassing representative of the "law" In other words someone who couldn't compete on a level playing field! coward! bum! I suggest he "get
a real job!"
Man, this affects us all.
Find a family restaurant and enjoy your coffee, or oat soda.
It's Brandt, at , uh well, Mr. Lebowski, and I can assure you we ARE pissed about this waste of taxpayers money and this travesty of alleged law enforcement!
SHOMER FUCKIN' SHABBAS!
Nice marmot.
Quote from: digitalbuddha on August 11, 2008, 03:14:37 AM
Well dude, we just don't know. Fighting the reactionary fucking undude cop might have been the way to go, but at least the god damned plane didn't crash into the mountain and the judge toss you into the can, man. You know your rights, man. Either way, the court shit is over.
Here is a hint...in most states, if you don't fuck up and get busted again, you can request that your record be expunged of the conviction (which I presume was a misdemeanor). You go down to the court and request the paperwork, pay a buck or two, file the paper work (i.e., you serve the prosecutor's office with the paperwork and it will then come before the judge. If you have been a clean dude for the duration of your probation (or a bit longer in some states), the conviction will be ordered by the court expunged. having it expunged will mean that it is more or less like it didn't happen, and the record of such will no longer be public. It is NOT a reversal of the conviction, only a cleaning of your record.
See - http://www.thelaw.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-1534.html
And - http://www.expunge-criminal-records.com/reducing-felony-to-misdmeanor.html
A fucking 80 year old dude...that's like fucked up totally! jesus!
And, T-dude, "old japanese man" is not the preferred nomenclature; Asian American, please.
Thanks for the info Dbuddha, I'll have to look into that.
Quote from: Turtle on August 13, 2008, 04:24:30 AM
Quote from: digitalbuddha on August 11, 2008, 03:14:37 AM
Well dude, we just don't know. Fighting the reactionary fucking undude cop might have been the way to go, but at least the god damned plane didn't crash into the mountain and the judge toss you into the can, man. You know your rights, man. Either way, the court shit is over.
Here is a hint...in most states, if you don't fuck up and get busted again, you can request that your record be expunged of the conviction (which I presume was a misdemeanor). You go down to the court and request the paperwork, pay a buck or two, file the paper work (i.e., you serve the prosecutor's office with the paperwork and it will then come before the judge. If you have been a clean dude for the duration of your probation (or a bit longer in some states), the conviction will be ordered by the court expunged. having it expunged will mean that it is more or less like it didn't happen, and the record of such will no longer be public. It is NOT a reversal of the conviction, only a cleaning of your record.
See - http://www.thelaw.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-1534.html
And - http://www.expunge-criminal-records.com/reducing-felony-to-misdmeanor.html
A fucking 80 year old dude...that's like fucked up totally! jesus!
And, T-dude, "old japanese man" is not the preferred nomenclature; Asian American, please.
Thanks for the info Dbuddha, I'll have to look into that.
Far fucking out, Turtle. Don't let them pee on your rung, man.