The Dudeism Forum

Dudeist Religion => Dudeist Spiritualism => Topic started by: SmokeytheBuddha on June 08, 2008, 08:10:35 PM

Title: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: SmokeytheBuddha on June 08, 2008, 08:10:35 PM
Someone mentioned blessing dildoes in another post.

Now, that's a service I may have to start offering to those in need in my community.

In a more mundane capacity, I led a service at a UU fellowship and gave a sermon extolling Dudeism. It would have been really cool if I'd brought along some dildoes as props...

Any other things you done?
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Andrea D. on June 23, 2008, 06:32:58 PM
What do you mean with "dildoes" dude?
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Turtle on June 24, 2008, 12:32:11 AM
I'll let somebody else answer her for that one.....errhmm.

:o
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Andrea D. on June 24, 2008, 12:43:04 PM
I think i know what is a "Dildo", but i don't wanna say it because if i'm wrong...you know...what a shame..hahahaha.
But whatever, in the parlance of my country a "dildo" is a "plastic jhonson" a vibrator, am i wrong?
:-\
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Turtle on June 24, 2008, 06:13:55 PM
Actually dudette, "Dildo" is a disease in the US, where a man starts to grow penises all over his body and then actually becomes a giant johnson. See the pic below:

(http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/06/22/1120885273668.jpg)


No, I am just kidding, you are absolutely correct, it is a plastic johnson (though it also may be made of rubber or glass or another material). Whatever you do tho, just don't let the dog get a hold of it.

(http://www.breaktaker.com/albums/pictures/animals/DildoDog.jpg)
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Andrea D. on June 24, 2008, 06:23:06 PM
Ha-ha-ha-ha!  Wonderful dog.  Very free-spirited.  We're all very fond of her/him.
Hahahaha..marvelous picture Turtle.
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Turtle on June 24, 2008, 07:41:57 PM
Yezz, da dog iz vun of our vittle achieverz.

He haz been trained to bite off your chonson, lebowski!!!!

And he is un ex-bert!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Turtle on June 24, 2008, 07:52:45 PM
If I am guessing correctly, I believe that guy can satisfy about 80 women at once.
Except, he would have to have an epileptic fit to do it.
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Dude1967 on June 26, 2008, 07:20:02 PM
Quote from: Turtle on June 24, 2008, 07:52:45 PM
If I am guessing correctly, I believe that guy can satisfy about 80 women at once.
Except, he would have to have an epileptic fit to do it.
coincidently, he is epileptic, and carries his own strobe light
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Turtle on June 26, 2008, 09:32:50 PM
Quotecoincidently, he is epileptic, and carries his own strobe light

that must make him very popular with the ladies.... and at parties.

;D

probably looks something like Peter Garrett (of Midnight Oil) dancing, maybe???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H8omYwKw2M
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Garheart on July 03, 2008, 06:07:33 PM
I'm one step away from performing a circumcision.

So close I can almost taste it.

Yummy.
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Turtle on July 03, 2008, 06:24:13 PM
What the fuck are you talking about?!

Who the fuck are you man?! The friend with a cleft asshole?!

What do you do?!
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Dude1967 on July 28, 2008, 02:58:45 PM
Friend of mine built a bar down in his basement, had me bless it for him. 
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: SmokeytheBuddha on August 02, 2008, 07:44:14 AM
Quote from: Dude1967 on July 28, 2008, 02:58:45 PM
Friend of mine built a bar down in his basement, had me bless it for him. 

Far out. What did you say/do? Notes?
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Dude1967 on August 06, 2008, 08:44:18 PM
Quote from: SmokeytheBuddha on August 02, 2008, 07:44:14 AM
Quote from: Dude1967 on July 28, 2008, 02:58:45 PM
Friend of mine built a bar down in his basement, had me bless it for him. 

Far out. What did you say/do? Notes?
We set the bar up with some candles arranged on it, with whale songs playing in the background.  We burned a J, and then I said a few words:

Friends-
    We are here today because ------- (he didn't want his name posted) has helped to create a place, here in his home, to Abide and Relax.  at -------'s Bahama Bar.  We realize that in a world that can be, in the parlance of our times, very Un-Dude, we need to have an oasis of Calm.  -------- has provided that oasis.  May this bar be a place that through the hospitality of -------- we can enjoy an oat soda, or a caucasian, or even nossing if that's what you want.  May the Dudes and Dudettes who come here Abide here in Peace and not go Over The Line.
Wal, I lost m'train of thought here.  But--aw hell, I done innerduced this bar enough.
 
We then switched the music to Creedence, and --------- poured Caucasians and we enjoyed the rest of the evening.  Unfortunately, no photos were taken because what happens at the Bahama Bar stays at the Bahama Bar.     ;D       

Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: DigitalBuddha on August 06, 2008, 11:04:41 PM
Quote from: Garheart on July 03, 2008, 06:07:33 PM
I'm one step away from performing a circumcision.

So close I can almost taste it.

Yummy.

Report back to us when you're done.
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Dude1967 on August 11, 2008, 11:38:15 AM
Quote from: digitalbuddha on August 06, 2008, 11:04:41 PM
Quote from: Garheart on July 03, 2008, 06:07:33 PM
I'm one step away from performing a circumcision.

So close I can almost taste it.

Yummy.

Report back to us when you're done.
the return of Waldo??
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Andrea D. on August 22, 2008, 12:09:16 PM
Waldo??? :-\
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Dude1967 on August 23, 2008, 05:43:11 PM
Quote from: Andrea Dudette on August 22, 2008, 12:09:16 PM
Waldo??? :-\
Well. Dudette, we just don't know.
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: TheGermanNihilist on October 22, 2008, 08:30:18 AM
Uhh....not too much...

I began performing a 'miracle' like ze Jesus Christ man on mein floaty, but I passed out.

It was a rough day..
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: TheGermanNihilist on November 21, 2008, 04:43:26 AM
I have ALMOST had nozzing to drink the whole month... with the exception of my friends wedding..then I was dancing with his mom.

Well, when my 'internship' is up I will consume the sacrificial beverage of our kind and give thanks to....well man....myself I guess.


I believe in nozzing!
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: SmokeytheBuddha on November 21, 2008, 09:25:21 AM
Fabulous stuff, man.  :)
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: digbys kid on November 22, 2008, 04:28:26 PM
I woke up from off the couch, stood up, and looked around the room for about ten minutes until i realized i forgot was i was looking for.

Does this count as a Dudeist ceremony?  Or is it merely an observance?
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: Dude1967 on January 18, 2009, 10:56:20 AM
Quote from: digbys kid on November 22, 2008, 04:28:26 PM
I woke up from off the couch, stood up, and looked around the room for about ten minutes until i realized i forgot was i was looking for.

Does this count as a Dudeist ceremony?  Or is it merely an observance?
I don't believe that would count as a ceremony.  But that's just, like, my opinion, man
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: DigitalBuddha on March 25, 2009, 03:20:48 AM
Quote from: Dude1967 on August 11, 2008, 11:38:15 AM
Quote from: digitalbuddha on August 06, 2008, 11:04:41 PM
Quote from: Garheart on July 03, 2008, 06:07:33 PM
I'm one step away from performing a circumcision.

So close I can almost taste it.

Yummy.

Report back to us when you're done.
the return of Waldo??

Waldo.......yeah, he's a pervert... And that creep CAN'T roll, man!
Title: Re: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest?
Post by: DigitalBuddha on March 25, 2009, 03:23:05 AM
Quote from: Andrea Dudette on August 22, 2008, 12:09:16 PM
Waldo??? :-\

The man is a sex offender.  With a record.  Spent six months in Chino for exposing himself to the Dudeism forum.
Title: What ceremonies have you performed as a Dudeist priest
Post by: adunnig09 on December 21, 2009, 08:33:53 AM
Im agnostic with buddhist metaphysical leanings because I think that almost ANYTHING is possible when it comes to spirituality/the universe/etc.

Also, Im not sure if theres a higher power or energy or whatever he/she/it/they are like or even around at all but I dont believe in the idea of a Christian "God" i.e. one thats mean, doles out punishment in hell, and is judgemental or the idea/concept of "sin".