We rent a 4 bedroom house right now. The other day, my special gentleman's grandma said she wanted to buy a house and let us live in it.
So she bought one. We went and looked at it and I'm not happy with how tiny the 2 bedrooms are (like 11x8 and 10x8) so I think I'm going to feel a little claustrophobic.
My man said he and his dad were eventually (like next year) going to build off the back and put a back door and porch in, make the bathroom bigger, and build a .5 story master suite upstairs above the kitchen.
The only way I think I'm gonna get through moving (because I have a hard time with it, was moved around a lot as a kid) is reminding myself that a true Dude doesn't need a lot. It's pretty Dude to downsize and get rid of useless material possessions. Besides, for the first time in our lives we'll have a house we can customize and I have a tiny office to paint and redecorate and all that. (I'm thinking a chalkboard wall)
It's not the biggest problem in the world, but when I get anxious I try to look at the positive sides and try to think "what would the Dude do". The Dude would most certainly move into a smaller house that was $150 cheaper each month for rent so he could save up for, oh, I don't know, a new bowling ball or a new CCR cassette.
Well, shit, I lost my train of thought here.
the thought of moving makes me feel very un-dude vibes as well. we have moved, since i got married 9 years ago, 11 times.
thats all i got to say, no help here, but i've been there and know how you feel.
i guess my one suggestion is 30 pound capacity hefty bags and get rid of a LOT of shit. it feels good.
Oh, I plan on getting rid of a lot of stuff. Just going to start listing things on Facebook for friends in town that might want some new swag.
This house is relatively big, so I'm trying to come to grips with how we're going to fit all of our home into another house.
Thankfully, I have a little bit of time to figure it out, as they're going to be doing a little bit of remodeling before we move in.
See my parents had 22 houses in 21 years of being married.
Dad was in the Air Force.
We moved four times in one year.
It's just a matter of adapting.
I spent about a year living out of a camper van.
I think what I'm saying is personally I'm just happy to sill have my little house.
I know there is lots of people in the world have a lot less than I do.
Moving home is one of the most stressful things a human being can go through (unless you're related to Meekon, and then it's an average year of training for the House-Moving Olympics).
I wouldn't worry too much, AB. I know you've got through a bit of crap of late, but hopefully this should have limbered your abiding gland up enough to get through this thing unscathed. And, if you slip a bit and stresspass, that just proves you're still human :D
Take with you these positive points:
The house is a gift. It's a very expensive gift of love from an in-law, which also mean acceptance (which is always a bonus when dealing with a partner's family! ;D).
Downsizing does indeed bring you back to basics. You can get rid of a lot of clutter from your life, with is hugely cathartic. The home will possibly feel more personal when the things in it are all your most treasured things, not just the usual junk we buy and keep for a decade even though we never really wanted it.
The extention can be a fun project that you can help with and be involved with the design. Customisation is a great privilege! Don't forget, you'll want to include a sturdy bike-shed as well :) keep those thieving a-holes away!
Before you know it you'll think of it as your home. Congrats :D
Thanks guys! :)
I'm starting to see the house as a bit of a bonanza--we'll still be paying rent, but we can also do so much with it (I can put raspberry and blackberry bushes in the back) and I'm actually getting a little excited about it.
Just gonna roll with it and take everything as it comes. No sense getting worked up. Can't be worried about that shit, right?
This house has been more of a test of my Dudeness than I thought possible.
Grandma is 89 and seems to think that she's buying the house for her, or so it seems, because every time someone starts to do something (like fix a door) she asks 900 questions and claims they're "doing it wrong".
She's supposed to be paying my special gentleman to work on the house, on a list of previously discussed things (expanding the bathroom, moving the washer and dryer, etc. etc.) and now she's changed her mind on a lot of things and has only paid him $170 so far. We can't pay bills on that, even with my income! Before I know it, she's going to be bitching that she doesn't like the PAINT colors that I'm choosing.
I told my special gentleman that the next time he sees her, he needs to get our lease in writing claiming that we're able to paint and update fixtures as needed. I'm starting to lose it a little, and trying to remain dude, but the bills are stacking up and winter is coming and we only have three weeks to get the house done and get in it before we moved out of our current house.
We get by with a little help from our friends (and by friends, I mean Jim Beam)
Sorry to hear of your troubles dude. Here is hoping thing will look brighter tomorrow. Abide dude...Abide. 8)
Quote from: A.B. Dude on September 29, 2011, 10:25:57 PM
I told my special gentleman that the next time he sees her, he needs to get our lease in writing claiming that we're able to paint and update fixtures as needed. I'm starting to lose it a little, and trying to remain dude, but the bills are stacking up and winter is coming and we only have three weeks to get the house done and get in it before we moved out of our current house.
AB Never go into business or contracts with family, your just entering a world of pain. (probably too little too late there).
Yeah, I totally agree, which is why I was hesitant to do this whole thing in the first place.
But if he thinks I'm abandoning our current lease to move in a place without any sort of paperwork to protect both the tenant's rights and the owner's rights, he's got another thing comin', that's all I'm saying.
I don't want her deciding in two months that she can just raise the rent, you know (or some equally shitty thing that can happen on our end)? Besides, I think we need a written lease in order to have renter's insurance in case of a fire/flood.
I think you need a written lease just for your own piece of mind and to set out what it is you both (lessee and lessor) can and can't do. I forget the person who said it but a verbal contract is only worth the paper it's written on.
sorry to hear about your stresses. dealing with bureaucracy is a whole new world of pain but your right to want to protect your rights. however, if all parties are agreable, short assured tenancy agreements can be downloaded from the net for free and provided you have them properly witnesses (like your passport photo) should give you some peace of mind.
good luck
We've given 30 days notice--our lease was a month to month for the past 3 years with our current landlord. Some friends of ours have decided to rent the house we're currently in after we move out, so our landlord is pretty happy that he's not going to have a lull between tenants.
I don't know what the hell you're talking about as far as getting back 5 times the security deposit, TD. We paid a $600 deposit and honestly I don't give a damn if he takes out some money from that to clean the carpets that way I don't have to. I don't know where you live, but here you pay a security deposit and first month's rent and then you get the security deposit back when you move out granted there's no holes in the walls or serious problems (which there aren't).
Landlord is being super dude about everything. However, we're supposed to be out mid-month that way we only have to pay half of this month's rent (money's a little tight right now, but you know me, I can't complain) and I have NO boxes. All the ones I have have things packed up in them already.
Waiting on the renter's agreement to get drawn up before we start the arduous process of getting everything moved over there. In addition to that, I've gotta get the garden harvested (the community garden needs it all cleaned up by the 15th)
Gonna be a hectic week coming up. Can't wait to be in the new place and enjoy an oat soda in the new living room.
Quote from: A.B. Dude on October 06, 2011, 02:50:33 PM
Landlord is being super dude about everything. However, we're supposed to be out mid-month that way we only have to pay half of this month's rent (money's a little tight right now, but you know me, I can't complain) and I have NO boxes. All the ones I have have things packed up in them already.
Waiting on the renter's agreement to get drawn up before we start the arduous process of getting everything moved over there. In addition to that, I've gotta get the garden harvested (the community garden needs it all cleaned up by the 15th)
Gonna be a hectic week coming up. Can't wait to be in the new place and enjoy an oat soda in the new living room.
let us know when you are all moved in and i'll heft a white russian with you! 8)
Fuckin' A, man. Will do!
I had problems with the move, but I resolved the issue. The main thing in this case is to do everything carefully and cautiously. After all, this is the most important thing that can be in this case.