Changing the present and future

DigitalBuddha · November 24, 2007, 03:57:36 PM

Changing the present and future..........

My plan...I would go back in time and expose Bill Gates as being gay, ruin his career, steal his Windows idea, make a ton of billions of dollars and rule the world.

Now that I rule the world...

* Every law abiding citizen would be permitted to carry a gun for self defense. Walter would write this law.

* All dumb ass liberals would be locked up on an island where they could preach their pathetic bullshit to each other all they wanted and none of us with brains would have to hear their idiotic mindless slop ever again.

* The guy from Boston would be president (I would still be ruler of the world). See - theguyfromboston.com

* Abortion would be murder and treated as such.

* We would have nuked every country helping islamic terrorists.

* Tree hugging, Al Gore, cross dressing (in public) and gays holding hands in public would be illegal.

* Beer, nachos and pizza would be free in all Hooter's Bars.

* The U.S. Constitution would be amended to make ENGLISH the only legal language in the world...yes, the world.

* NO KID would be graduated from high school until he could read, write, do math, understand history, science, and civics at the level of a real 12th grader...no exceptions. If your lazy dumb ass kid flunked, you would have to pay IN CASH the entire expense for the teacher, the facilities and class time for each year he or she has to repeat (I just made that one up, pretty good idea, eh?) If your kid flunks, TOUGH! He flunks, you pay, no exceptions!!

* Cindy Sheehan would be banished off the planet or executed as a terrorist. It would be her choice...no, hell with that, it would be our choice.

* Congress would be fired and prosecuted...all of them.

* Income tax made forever illegal. Even trying to create another income tax law would be punishable by death by hanging under a pile of British tea.

* Entering a plea in court as an excuse for a hennas crime (hell, any crime) by a so-called minority as caused by "Post Slavery Traumatic Syndrome" would be laughed out of court, the lawyer dis-barred for life and fined five million dollars to fund free beer, pizza and nachos at Hooter's Bar. The defendant would be executed...at Hooter's.

* All the whining idiots complaining about our actions in Iraq would be officially told to shut the hell up!

* Star Trek Enterprise would be brought back and T'Pol would have to wear a thong Bikini as her "Star Fleet Uniform"

OK, now that my platform has been stated, lets work on getting me back in time.

ZenDudeist · November 24, 2007, 05:53:32 PM

Quote* Beer, nachos and pizza would be free in all Hooter's Bars.

It's good to see we have some common ground to stand on here.

Hope you had a happy turkey day, you crazy fuck~!

forumdude · November 24, 2007, 11:11:17 PM

ha ha! those are your opinions, dude. unfortunately most of them are very un-dude. was that brought on by an acid flashback? fucking interesting, man...

Andrea D. · November 28, 2007, 10:05:56 AM

Totally agree
Except in: * Beer, nachos and pizza would be free in all Hooter's Bars...i'm agre with beer, nachos and pizza sucks, my only food is:
mints and beer nuts.That's my opinion man.

"Star Trek Enterprise would be brought back and T'Pol would have to wear a thong Bikini as her "Star Fleet Uniform"<<< Tha't great Dude.

Pigs in Blanket · January 06, 2010, 08:28:58 PM

Not sure if you're a troll, man. But still, far out, far fucking out, man.

Matt the Walrus · January 06, 2010, 11:34:24 PM

Hmmm, but if I could only speak English I couldn't reply, "Sprechen sie deutsch, fuhrer?"

I'm just kidding, that's mostly good stuff. But there are several issues I need to address with your platform

1. Even trees need hugs sometimes

2. That bit about nuking nations "helping" "Islamic terrorists" should be expanded to any nation that "is, or ever has," helped "any terrorist oganization. Can't be discriminating here. Lets spread the love. I want to have little Hulk babies.

3. Its simply not plausible to try and regulate the languages spoken in other countries. Let's settle for burning all foreign language books in our respective countries. That goes for translations as well. And by foreign languages I mean "not English" not just the derka derka languages.

4. Before we let everyone carry guns we have to get all the psychos, the infirm, liberals, homos, abortionists, Mexicans, bigots etc. off the streets. They can't be trusted.

5. Does it count as cross dressing if you only wear women's underwear? I don't think it should. This is kind of a deal-breaker.

6. Those camel-fuckers and whiny Canadians (see Naomi Klein) who complain about the Iraq War deserve worse. They should be shot, or at least segregated from the rest of us, geographically concentrated if you will. We could use camps.

7. Is it gay if you're the Man in a Man on man on goat sexfest? Cus some cultures only frown on being the receiver if you catch my drift. Not that I think you'd ever be interested in catching anything.

BikerDude · January 07, 2010, 04:39:25 PM