I acted like a cleft asshole!

[Rev.Wendy aka The Dude a-Rides]

I like to imagine the Dude  and what he thinks to himself when he realizes he's acted like an asshole. I mean, even us Dudes slip up don't we?

The extremely undude guy I was seeing pulled a disappearing act. You know, didn't have the balls to call and say "hey this isn't working for me"...instead just stopped calling , messaging, etc, all together.

Eventually he admitted while very drunk (after *i* phoned him) that he had lost interest and didn't want to deal with telling me.

THEN i did something undude. I sent him a half dozen facebook msg's. Most were curt , rather psycho analytic, and calling him out on his paraquat ways.  A couple were apologies for being so curt, psycho-analytic, and for calling him out on his paraquat ways. And then one was telling him he was just plain rude.

THEN (as if that wasn't UNDUDE enough to make me hang up my jelly sandals)....THEN he responded with a brief, cool , rather blase apology. ...SO *I* responded with yet ANOTHER pscyho analytic message. (nothing harsh. but, i mean, guy is SO tired of hearing me blather on)

SO tired, in fact, that he phoned me immediately.....and blew smoke up my ass, apologized for being a dickhead...well, i mean, i know he was just doing it in hopes that FOR GOD'S SAKE this woman will not send another facebook message. He's an ass...I know he didn't mean the apology but was only doing it to make nice and SHUT . ME. UP!!

Which made me feel like THE most UNDUDE Dude across the sands of time.

SIGH. A half dozen psycho analytic, harsh messages....yet SO not my style. I am totally cheezed off at myself for blowing my dudeness. I've never done this before, I'm not the obsessive type , and even though i don't really care what HE thinks of me (cuz he's a jerkoff. manually.) . I care what *I* think of me. And I just didn't see myself as the psycho-ex type. the kind that, when ditched (even by a dingus) spends any brain power trying to extract some sort of explanation from said dingus as to why he acted like a dingus.

Like I said, I picture Dude, and I imagine he'd dust it off , saying "yeah..well, that was just , like , his opinion, man....I know my rights , man..." and get on with it.

right? fuckin'..A.

[meekon5]

Perhaps your not actually looking at why you responded how you did.

Perhaps there was more feeling there for the paraquat than you really want to admit?

[Rev.Wendy aka The Dude a-Rides]

i don't know, because feelings were *just* starting to develop. against my better judgement. which served to piss me off further. bcuz i'd broken personal boundaries to give Dude a chance (a few times)
i really hadn't gotten a handle on how i felt about him when he blew me off. the way he blew me off only confuddled any idea of how i had felt about him.

then i sent messages , once again, AGAINST my inner voice of logic and dudeness.

I think i'm more pissed at myself than at him , i mean, i know i am.

or was. it's fading of course.

[meekon5]

As a teenager I sent the details of my first breakup to a national radio station, who then broadcast the whole lot on the air the next day.

She didn't talk to me for weeks. But a lot of my friends thought it was really funny.

Not the sort of thing I would do now I've become more subtle.

But it left me with that duality of feeling a bit of a shit for having done it and feeling a bit pleased because it had annoyed her.

Love is a funny thing.

[Ava]

Sorry to hear about your breakup.  Don't beat yourself up, girl.  The Dude never lingered on his past behavior.  Breakups are hard, especially when you are let go in such a lame-ass manner.  Next time you need to vent, skip the Facebook and just tell the dudes in the forum here.  If any situation erupts undude-like behavior, its gotta be a breakup, so just consider yourself normal.   

[Rev.Wendy aka The Dude a-Rides]

Thanks Ava...

it's all blown over now, we're on speaking terms as acquaintances and still facebook friends LOL LOL and i've more or less forgiven myself for not being "calmer than you are"

but yes, i will definitely post here next time the urge to be Undude arises!

[Klaus Korters]

Hey even dudes are human, but realising such undude ways makes us dudely

[Matt the Walrus]

Hey even dudes are human, but realising such undude ways makes us dudely

ditto. Or to paraphrase: Meh, fugehdabouit.