10 Years of Dudeism. A story of Strikes and Gutters.

[RevDudeAgain]

   This week I celebrate the 10 year anniversary of joining The Church of the Latter-Day Dude. My time with Dudeism has seen many ups and downs, strikes and gutters. I've been the happiest I've ever been, and the most depressed I've ever been. I've lost some good friends and made some amazing ones. I've gone from a terrible life to a life I never imagined. I've gone with the flow, abandoned the flow, and back again. Here's my story.

Pre-Dudeism

I don't recall how I first came across Dudeism back in December 2009. Chances are that I came across it by googling The Big Lebowski. I was already a fan of the film, and like most had to watch it a couple times to understand all the ins and outs of the film. I honestly don't know anybody who completely got the film on their first viewing, but I'm sure there are some out there. I think I had just heard about Lebowski Fest and was looking into it when I stumbled onto the Dudeism website.

   What's this? A religion? Based on The Dude! No Way!

   But it was true, and like most people I think, I got a laugh from it. Because let's face it, at first glance Dudeism just seems like laughable nonsense. However, something peaked my interest, so I bookmarked the site and moved on with the intention of digging more into it at a later time. I was in no state at the time to give it any serious thought, as I was either drunk or high or both and wasn't in the right headspace to investigate this weird thing I came across.

   I was at a bad place in my life at that time. A year earlier both my roommate and I had lost our jobs and I was forced to move back into my parent's place. Worst yet, all the bills were in my name, so I was the one left holding the check. After a few months of looking, I took a job at Target working in their electronics section making slightly more than minimum wage. So there I was, working a shit job, making little money, and forced to pay back this huge debt from getting booted out of my apartment, with my ex-roommate nowhere to be seen. At least the managers at Target were okay and my co-workers were pretty cool.

   I was very depressed then. So like a lot of people I escaped into the world of alcohol and drugs. Between my small paycheck, slowly paying my debt back, and paying rent to my parents, I had almost nothing, and nothing to look forward to. Add on top of all that all my friends seemed to be doing great. Some were getting married. Some were starting their families. Some were getting big promotions. Others were buying their first homes. I couldn't help but look around and feel worthless.

   Now I can't lie, yeah, there were some good times, even a few amazing times. I even met some real great people, including my best Bro, but overall I was down in the dumps.

   So Dudeism. I came across it. Bookmarked it. Told my friends about it. We laughed about it. Then I guess I kinda forgot about it for a while until the following July. By this time shit had gone from bad to worst. Most of the management team had left or moved on, and were replaced by some real ass clowns. The Logistic Manager had been caught giving one of the cashiers the old "in and out" in the employee bathroom and was fired. Another department manager "quit" after some money had gone missing. She was replaced by a fresh faced college grad with no job experience and a cocaine habit. We had seen the powder around her nose a few times. The head of HR left for a better job and was replaced by another fresh faced college grad. It was his first job in HR. My Department Manager moved to Lost Prevention and was replaced by a failed music producer. It was his first job in retail. Finally, the Store Manager left for another company and was replaced by a guy who made it very clear that he was only there because he was promised a promotion to Distinct Manager after a year, if he could reduce cost.

   So you have a Store Manager with something to prove, and a bunch of Department Managers with no experience running the store. How can this be, you ask? Simple. I don't know if this is true anymore, but at the time Target had a hiring policy where if you had a BA Degree, no matter the field, they would hire you as a Department Manager. All you had to do was pass a two week instore training course. And from what I've been told, the training course was a complete joke.

   So of course everything went to shit. They made it so people were either forced by dumping so much extra work on them. When that didn't work, they added even more work on them so that they could fire people when they failed to complete all their tasks on time. I was in the latter. After two years of hard work I was forced out by a bunch of latter climbing greed heads. I was back at zero. Jobless and still living with my parents. I used my unemployment to pay them rent and to drown myself in even more in booze and drugs. Then one day I was cleaning up my bookmarks, deleting sites that I never went to anymore or had no more interest in, and there it was...Dudeism.

Enlightenment

   I chuckled for a section, getting ready to delete it, but then I stopped. Thought about it for a minute, then clicked on the site. I'm still not sure why, but I thought why not check this out for real, so I did. I didn't do a deep dive that night, but what I did read really seemed to hit home. Every few days I would come back and read the forums or TheDudesPaper. Everything just seemed right. It all just made sense. So, on August 1st, 2010, I got ordained.

   I honestly think it was the best decision I ever made up to that time. Dudeism gave me peace of mind. It taught me not to be jealous of other's achievements. To go with the flow. That what will happen will happen. To let go of the past and to live in the moment. I didn't stop drinking and doing drugs, but I was doing a whole lot less. It helped me to become happy. To enjoy the small and simple things in life. I began to study Taoism and Zen Buddhism. I meditated at least once a day. I learned to let go.

   Thanks to Dudeism, I found a job at a local pizza joint, and when that went belly up I went with the flow, which led me to a great job working for Habitat for Humanity for some really amazing people, some of whom also subscribed to the concept of "going with the flow". They weren't Dudeist, but they thought along the same lines. I was able to save some money, buy a pretty decent used car, meet a lot of interesting people and visit some interesting places. Best of all, I met a real special lady who would later agree to make me the happiest dude in the world by becoming my Special Lady Friend.

We met on Twitter, of all places. I lived in the US and she lived in Canada, but despite the distance we made it work. After a year and a half we got married and spent the next few months getting the paperwork together and filling out applications for my move to Canada. That's right, Dudeism led me to move to Canada. At the time she was living with extended family near Toronto, but we decided to move to British Columbia, outside of Vancouver, where she was borned and raised, to be close to her immediate family. Once all the paperwork went through we gathered my few personal belongings and drove on up to Ontario, picked up her stuff, and made our way to Beautiful British Columbia.

We ended up living with her parents for the first year. My In-Laws are amazing, by the way. I think most people are scared that they might end up with In-Laws who are crazy, or mean, or might think less of them, but not mine. I am truly lucky that my In-Laws are some of the best, easy going humans on this earth, whom I can tell jokes with and share a few Oat Sodas. Things seemed to be going good.

Downfall

   We worked for a year and were able to save up for our first place together. It was shortly after moving into our place that I realized that something wasn't right. I wasn't mediating much anymore. Maybe once a week if I was lucky. I really wasn't going with the flow anymore. Things that I would let roll over me started to affect me. I was becoming Un-Dude.

   How was this happening? What was going on? Well Dudes, it was a couple of things. First, my wife had developed some pretty bad PTSD from her time in Ontario. For privacy reasons I won't go into how she got it, but let's just say that it was pretty bad. Living with someone with PTSD is hard. Very hard. Helping them while they are getting help can be mentally draining, and it was. There were many ups and downs there with her PTSD, and I was determined to stay by her side and help no matter the cost, she is my Special Lady Friend after all, and I love her.

   Second, I was working at a food factory. At first things were good, but just like at my last job, the good people left and the crap people came in and made things damn near unbearable. At one point I was working six days a week, clocking in 55-60 hours. If that isn't draining then I don't know what is. I was working with a lot of toxic people whom I couldn't escape from.

   I also lost touch with my friends back home, which was depressing. My core friends back home were like family, and I loved them. Yes I had made some new friends, but they were all friends with my wife first. Not really my friends, they were our friends.  So with all that, and a long list of other things, I slowly became Un-Dude. I was down in the dumps. Nothing was really tying the room known as Life together.

        A year ago some things were starting to change. My wife has come a long way with her PTSD recovery, and I couldn't be more proud of her. I left that factory job and joined a start-up that seemed very exciting at the time. To top it off, we found out 8 months ago that we were expecting a little dudette. Things were going good, but I was still Un-Dude.

        Then the Pandemic hit. Lucky for me my company stayed open, as did my Wife's company. However, my company did make some changes and some true colors began to show. The owners and Managers showed their cards when they started to hire friends with no experience instead of people who could help the company grow. They admitted that they themselves had no experience in our field, and as such I had to take on too much work. I ended up running two departments with people under me who didn't know what they were doing and unwilling to learn. The stress from work and the stress from the pandemic finally became too much, and I ended up having a mental breakdown and was admitted to the hospital for a night for observation.

        I was deemed to be not to be a danger and was referred to a psychologist. The psychologist was a pretty cool dude and at the end of the first session told me that I was fine. I wasn't mentally unstable. That what had happened was caused by a panic attack brought on by stress.

Born Again

   It was after that first session that I knew what I needed. I needed Dudeism back in my life. I watched The Big Lebowski again. I re-read all the Dudeism books. I started to study Taoism and Zen again. I started to meditate again. I re-learned how to go with the flow once again. And guess what dudes? It worked. I am a Dude again.

   A lot has happened since then, but it's all good. Life moves on. You can't be held back by things you can't control. A perfect example happened two weeks ago. The Pandemic caught up to my company and they were forced to let me go in an effort to cut costs. Keep in mind that my wife is due to give birth in just a few weeks. If it wasn't for Dudeism I would be flipping out, but I'm not. I couldn't control that, plus I was already looking for new employment anyway, so my resume has been out there for a while. Hopefully I'll get a new job soon, one that won't bump me into a new tax bracket. Plus, we had already gotten most of the things we needed for the little dudette before they let me go, so we don't have to worry about that.

   So what's next? Well who knows dudes. Who knows? I do however want to see this religion officially recognized, and I would like to be a part of that. I wanna do more studying, to discover new shit that I can help bring to light. Find as many ins and outs that I can and preach the gospel of The Dude. Most people still see Dudeism as a joke, but I wanna see more people take it more seriously, because it truly is a life changing religion. Besides, if  Scientology can be recognized, why not Dudeism?

   Until then, I am happy. I am going with the flow. I am The Reverend DudeAgain.

[Rev Dave Man]

Oh far out man, far out.  I am so happy for you finding your place in the grand scheme of things once again.  I can relate to a lot of what you're saying.  Many well wishes for your future Dudette and your family.  Peace to you and yours, and I am with you 100 percent, if some science fiction writer can establish a church based on nothing but science fiction, why can't a branch of Taoism with thousands of years of history be recognized as well? I'm glad to hear that you've found your center again, Dude. I'm about to embark on a journey...if the government fascists will let me...to find mine.  Be well, peace and blessings upon your whole house, Dude.