I'm trying man, I'm really fucking trying man

[Rev Dave Man]

I had 2 weeks away from my job and I spent it meditating, sitting on the beach and finding my inner dude.  My special lady friend was with me the whole time and she's cool, she's cool.  I came back to work in the best place I've been in since finding the way of the dude...but alas...the fascists that I rely on to pay me my wages have broken me down yet again.  I go from Dude to Walter in no time at all.  It's really hard to stay relaxed in a place where the reactionaries that plan my day pile more and more on my plate and have no concept of "will you just calm the fuck down".  I guess I'm just venting here, but I need another vacation.  If I didn't have young ones at home who rely on me for basic needs I would just say fuck it, but I'm not that guy, man.  I set myself a 10 year goal to wait till the youngest one is on his way into the world and then I'm fucking outta here.  I don't know where...but somewhere. 
   BUT until then...I've stepped up my meditation to try and find my inner zen but it's wearing me down man.  Unfortunately I can't medicate or keep my mind limber in the profession I currently reside in so that's not an option.  That's a bummer...it's a bummer man.

[BikerDude]

Yeah.
As I see it your meditation is a way to remove bummer thoughts from your mind.
Trouble is that you gotta feed the monkey.
So there's no escape.
I feel you.
I've found that raising the importance of something else to offset the bummer can have positive effects.
Focus on making the finals. Or making the perfect white Russian. Credence tunes.
Plan a perfect Utopian society or bake some weed brownies. It's wide open.
Something that can offset the bummer.
I still jerk off manually.

[DigitalBuddha]

I had 2 weeks away from my job and I spent it meditating, sitting on the beach and finding my inner dude.  My special lady friend was with me the whole time and she's cool, she's cool.  I came back to work in the best place I've been in since finding the way of the dude...but alas...the fascists that I rely on to pay me my wages have broken me down yet again.  I go from Dude to Walter in no time at all.  It's really hard to stay relaxed in a place where the reactionaries that plan my day pile more and more on my plate and have no concept of "will you just calm the fuck down".  I guess I'm just venting here, but I need another vacation.  If I didn't have young ones at home who rely on me for basic needs I would just say fuck it, but I'm not that guy, man.  I set myself a 10 year goal to wait till the youngest one is on his way into the world and then I'm fucking outta here.  I don't know where...but somewhere. 
   BUT until then...I've stepped up my meditation to try and find my inner zen but it's wearing me down man.  Unfortunately I can't medicate or keep my mind limber in the profession I currently reside in so that's not an option.  That's a bummer...it's a bummer man.

That monkey on the back, man; it's like Lenin said...

[BikerDude]

Freaking Nazis.
Nothing changes.

[Dude Lee]

It's suck, Dude, just fuckin' sucks.

Dudes (meaning everyone) didn't evolve to work ya know? We evolved to spend maybe four hours a day hunting and foraging, and then lounging about or hiking through the woods or plains. It'd be so cool if we could just live the nomad life, get some RVs or vans, temp half the year and save up that money to travel the other half. Could even raise a family that way if the little Lebowskis were home-schooled.

That said, Dude, there are tons of different types of meditation and mindfulness out there - maybe tour the vineyard a little? Some work better with the domesticated life than others. As far as I can tell, samatha is the most Dudely one and vipassana is maybe the most un-Dudely one; it's way too analytical for the Abiding mind, but that's just my opinion, man.

[Kanantus]

I'm reminded of Jonathan Swift's essay: A Modest Proposal. His solution to this conundrum is for the poor to sell their kids to the rich who can then eat them since that would give the rich something delicious to eat, and it would give the poor some money they can buy food for and it would mean less mouths to feed. So if you are not against selling your children to rich fucks then that may be your way out.   

[BikerDude]

I'm with Lemme.
Eat the rich!

[Dude Skippy]

Yeah.
As I see it your meditation is a way to remove bummer thoughts from your mind.
Trouble is that you gotta feed the monkey.
So there's no escape.
I feel you.
I've found that raising the importance of something else to offset the bummer can have positive effects.
Focus on making the finals. Or making the perfect white Russian. Credence tunes.
Plan a perfect Utopian society or bake some weed brownies. It's wide open.
Something that can offset the bummer.
I still jerk off manually.

Good post man. I really liked it. Thanks.

I've been feeling quite bummed at work lately myself. I've got some leave coming up very soon, which is nice. But I was thinking about using that time to hit the pavement with some resumes. In the meantime, I've found that cooking something new helps me feel better at the end of the day.

[BikerDude]

I've learned to never stop sending out resumes.
I suppose if I ever found a gig that was Goldilocks "just right" then I might figure on hanging for a bit.
But lately every single contract comes with a heaping helping of bull crap.
Actually bull crap was probably a percentage of the norm but age makes us allergic to it.
And I don't swim against the tide.
I just abide my way through it but I'm too old and too pissed in general to suffer it.
I'm reminded of the line in the movie Zodiac
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plufVMwO4M4
"If at any time, you feel my excellent work is no longer in step with the trashy provincial rag, I will more than happily decamp to greener pastures".

My view is that there are always greener pastures to be had.
Life is too short to sweat the bullshit.
Be a good man and thorough.
And when the shit tide rises don't play. Just relax and abide.

[Johnny]

I use to be in a similar position as the OP years ago. I started to up my meditation and it helped but I found it not translating 'out in the real world's as much as I wanted. Eventually, someone told me something that helped so much. Get into the habit of looking at your thoughts and what they do to you. Don't try and force them away, don't retreat, just look and let them move on their own according. Abiding is the way!
Carl Jung once said "What you resist, persists". Your thoughts are like when you lay back with your special lady friend to skygize up at a nice blue field above. Some clouds come by, maybe they look cool , don't get attached to them because they will leave ya. Like wise, if some big ugly ones block your view, don't get mad because yelling at clouds is crazy! Just let them pass on their own time dude. This is how you need to view your thoughts.

Like wise, thinking in third person helps. "Johnny is feeling frustrated with h that fascist." Analysis it and as you face it with your mind's concentration, it'll pass on. With practice, you can do it faster and it'll effect you emotionally less and less.

Sorry for the long post, dude. This stuff is tuff to slam into words.