Dudeist Priests

[greatspiritmonk]

Dudeism: Taoism for the modern day spiritualist or The way to simplicity

Tenets (Statement of Beliefs):

Take life easy(, and avoid being too uptight).
Abide.
Tend to your own little garden.
Respect for Nature as a whole (human beings, animals, plants...).
Love what you do, when you're doing it, for the sake of doing it.   
+ Be one with the Universe

Further concepts:

All faiths are compatible with Dudeism because Dudeism is a way of thinking and acting that enhances who you are- it never replaces who you are.
A Dudeist is a surfer on the sea of life.
As regards the others a Dudeist accepts that between consenting adults everything is fine. That is to say "Happy you, happy everyone."
A Dudeist abides, but never flexes more than 100?, he defends the line he draws with his life.
A Dudeist tends his little garden, doesn't walk in others' gardens and if asked gives advices on gardening.
A Dudeist applies Wu Wei (shrewd acting) on everything; doing the right thing in the right moment in the right way.
Whatever happens a Dudeist is always in the eye of the storm.
If you piss on a Dudeist's rug then you'll find yourself in a world of pain, or directly inside the storm.

[greatspiritmonk]

A blessing for beverages.

One makes two, two makes three, three makes everything that exists. The Universe has given us this wonderful drink. May this ..... regenerate those who drink it, keeping an healty body, a limber mind and a flying spirit. (Exhale on it)

Should work on everything, especially oat sodas, white russians, but also water.

[sufidude]

A blessing for a bowling ball:
You and I are one
the pins are many
and my enemies too...
down the lane of time
your path is mine.
 

[kornkob]

If you piss on a Dudeist's rug then you'll find yourself in a world of pain, or directly inside the storm.

That sure seems very un-Dude to me. 

As I recall the historical document of Dude's experience indicated that not only did the Dude not attempt to cause the rug peer any pain but instead of pursuing the rug peer, he approached the Big Lebowski, who appeared to be the actual cause of the room being untied.   

Walter threatens worlds of pain.   The Dude thinks you should all calm the fuck down.   

Course, that's just my opinion man--- but if you're asking for notes.....

[greatspiritmonk]

You are right, but that's a movie. In the real world if someone cross the line you have to defend it.
In my opinion a Dudeist is a non-violent, but it's not a pacifist. That is violence as a last resort is perfectly right, for example if you have to defend yourself or others. There are times when calming down is simply not possible, at least in the real world. Not because of you but of others.
I'm not violent, and if I can avoid problems I do, but if I wake up in the middle of the night and find a stranger in my home, well, it's his problem.
I mean for a Dudeist violence is the last resort, but if you must use it, use it well. A Dudeist fight his battles for himself. And cares for his little garden. And for his rug.

Thanks for your notes. 

[greatspiritmonk]

A blessing for a bowling ball:
You and I are one
the pins are many
and my enemies too...
down the lane of time
your path is mine.
 

You mean smashing them in the same way?

[sufidude]

You mean smashing them in the same way?

The ball doesn't smash anything, momentum does. Follow your set path and set obstacles will remove themselves, but if they don't you might end up in the gutter.

[greatspiritmonk]

But anyway the ball arrives in the same place (I don't know the name for it), where it get collected and given back to you. Interesting concept. Very deep concept man. The end is the same, what changes is your score.

[spytfyre]

What ho fellow priests and other dudes
Long time dude, first time posting
Recently I been thinking to the end of life, hey I got a little dude to think of and there is a will to be written so I turn my thoughts to: "Just how the fuck, do I want to go out?"
So I get to planning what my ideal Dudeist funeral would be like:
Folks get invited to turn up to a pub (Brass Monkey) in Edinburgh in their dressing gown and slippers - bring a glass
http://www.flashearth.com/?lat=55.947335&lon=-3.185433&z=18.5&r=0&src=msl
At said pub they have a cinema room - the movie will be shown for those who know not and to remind dudes who haven't seen it in a while...
At the crematorium/graveyard/field/muddy ditch or even ocean that they have designated my final resting spot (preferrably nicely roasted and ground into a coffee pot to be sprinkled later on Arthur's Seat (where I can make sure all them politiciansat the bottom of the hill are proper takin it easy)
http://www.flashearth.com/?lat=55.948988&lon=-3.171277&z=16&r=0&src=yh
Dudes and dudettes get their afore mentioned glass filled with pre mixed white russian from them coffee dispensers (designated dude drivers can get frozen coffee, fuck it)
Instead of hyms and prayers and such shit this is the plan
I'll arrive in a cardboard coffin, with "This way up, dude" on one side, which will reverently be laid on a nice rug at the front
If it be in a place with rows of seats (as I imagine it will, people got to recline to relax) the back row will be asked to tap the row in front on the right shoulder. Anyone tapped on the right shoulder must tap those in front on the left. if tapped on the left tap those in front on the right and so it will continue.
Those tapped onthe right shoulder will then be asked to turn round and talk to the dude/dudette behind them - talk about how they new me, make a new contact while drinking their drinks
After I'd chargrilled or worm food people can then go bowling

Thanks fer reading
If you think this is a pile of crap then don't bother with me with flaming replies, I'll just say "fuck it"

[greatspiritmonk]

Great idea, especially drinks and the cardboard coffin. Very, very dude. Fella Lao Tzu stated that the end of life for a caterpillar is the beginning of life for a butterfly.
So what's better than a great barbeque with friends to celebrate a new beginning?


Are you a Scot?

[spytfyre]

Great idea, especially drinks and the cardboard coffin. Very, very dude. Fella Lao Tzu stated that the end of life for a caterpillar is the beginning of life for a butterfly.
So what's better than a great barbeque with friends to celebrate a new beginning?


Are you a Scot?

Aye yer spot oan ther
Whit gave it awa? The repeatit mentions ay Embra?

Dudeism alive an well in Scotland
Need to make sure I know another dudeist priest to do my funeral, we could be funeral buddies and cover whoever snuffs it first. Efter aw, bein deid sounds awfy laid back te me

[greatspiritmonk]

Great idea, especially drinks and the cardboard coffin. Very, very dude. Fella Lao Tzu stated that the end of life for a caterpillar is the beginning of life for a butterfly.
So what's better than a great barbeque with friends to celebrate a new beginning?


Are you a Scot?

Aye yer spot oan ther
Whit gave it awa? The repeatit mentions ay Embra?

Dudeism alive an well in Scotland
Need to make sure I know another dudeist priest to do my funeral, we could be funeral buddies and cover whoever snuffs it first. Efter aw, bein deid sounds awfy laid back te me

Ops, forgive me but I have understood just the last sentence, well, almost.
I've been in Scotland once and left my heart there. 20 years ago. So don't worry, if you need I'll come for your funeral, and just for some oat sodas 

A kilt is in my opinion, beside a bath robe, a very dude dress, fairly comfortable I would say.
What colour can be used if someone doesn't belong to a clan?

[sufidude]

Dudeism alive an well in Scotland
Need to make sure I know another dudeist priest to do my funeral, we could be funeral buddies and cover whoever snuffs it first. Efter aw, bein deid sounds awfy laid back te me

As a dude who once met a Girl from Cardiff, I fancy myself an expert on all things Celtic. What your funeral also needs is some Creedence on the bagpipes. But if I die, who'll make the trip all the way to California?

[greatspiritmonk]

Someone will. Dudeism is a brotherhood.

[spytfyre]

Great idea, especially drinks and the cardboard coffin. Very, very dude. Fella Lao Tzu stated that the end of life for a caterpillar is the beginning of life for a butterfly.
So what's better than a great barbeque with friends to celebrate a new beginning?


Are you a Scot?

Aye yer spot oan ther
Whit gave it awa? The repeatit mentions ay Embra?

Dudeism alive an well in Scotland
Need to make sure I know another dudeist priest to do my funeral, we could be funeral buddies and cover whoever snuffs it first. Efter aw, bein deid sounds awfy laid back te me

Ops, forgive me but I have understood just the last sentence, well, almost.
I've been in Scotland once and left my heart there. 20 years ago. So don't worry, if you need I'll come for your funeral, and just for some oat sodas 

A kilt is in my opinion, beside a bath robe, a very dude dress, fairly comfortable I would say.
What colour can be used if someone doesn't belong to a clan?

Translation:
You are quite correct
What gave it away? The repeated Mentions of Edinburgh?
Whoever snuffs it (dies) first


No, kilts are not Scottish - they were an Irish invention man
The Plaid as seen in the movie Rob Roy and Braveheart(pile of bollocks, Wallace would've had trousers, the plaid came 300 years later) is what would have been worn before the English banned it
The English then decided it would be nice to get the Scots army regiments to wear the Irish kilt to scare the indiginous polulation of countries they wanted to colonise
The bagpipes are also false, too noisy and skreetchy, (again for the army, loud and scary for the natives) again the Irish or Northumbrian pipes are more like what would have been the traditional Scots pipes, the only differences are they're smaller and sound softer and more pleasing

As to colour of kilts - clans didn't have tartans, the plaid would have been any colour you liked, what was available (and cheap, we are Scots remember) and dyes were different at different times of the year anyway due to the plants in season, some would make their plaid out of several patches of cloth (cheap, again see? Did you know: Copper wire was invented by two Scots fighting over a penny...)
If you want to wear a kilt I think all black ones are pretty cool
(oh and the sporran is a lie too)
History, un-duded by the un-dudely (written by the winners)
Another fun fact - the jacobite rebellion wasn't Scots v English, it was two religions competing for the crown