In search for some dudely advice

[Sean_McDude1988]

Hey all!

I'm new to this site and gee wilikers!!!


I have some hiccups I wanted to try to figure out with you dudes! I try to be as Dudeist as possible and am doing pretty well. But every now and then I get anxious at work. It's understandable since I'm a telemarketer for an insurance firm so I'm surrounded by reactionaries. More often than not, just be being super dude about things, it transforms their reactionariness into dudeness. Kinda like a Dude-Kung, or Dude-Fu. When I'm getting reamed out by some dickweed on the phone though, my heart palpitates and I get very undude.

Any advice on how to stay dude in undude situations?

[ZoeAbides]

Well, I had a similar type of job where my duties were to let people scream, curse, and generally be evil to me without so much as clearing my throat in retaliation.  So I might have some insights for you.  (However, I did lose that job, so take everything with a grain of salt).

First off, reading some of your other replies to some other threads, it sounds like you've already got 'er wrapped all up... parts anyway.  But if you want some other advice, here we go.

1.  Find another more dudely job, then quit.  Going along the same lines as the Buddhist idea of "Right Livelihood".  If your job is literally killing you, look for a different one that suits your worldview and lifestyle.

2.  Blocking and Bridging.  This is a technique where you let them vent without you saying a word.  Let them have their tantrum and throw their hissy fit while you pretty much ignore them.  Hit the mute button on your phone and let whatever they say go in one ear and out the other.  Once they run out of steam, grab their attention and lead it away from what they're screaming about and over to things you can do for them to make them the happiest customer in the world.  Even if you can't do shit for them, make them think your calling in life is to serve them and only them to the best of your ability in whatever capacity that will make them happy.

3.  Mirror Technique.  If they're extreme paraquats and they will not relinquish control of the call to you, use the Mirror Technique.  The madder and louder they get, the sweeter and softer you get.  Eventually they'll shut the fuck up because they can barely hear your honey-dripping whisper.  Eventually they'll start to mirror your tone and volume of voice subconsciously.

4.  If your job allows it, hang up on abusive people.  Warn them that if they continue to be abusive to you, you'll end the call and they can call back when they've calmed down and are more conducive to working on the issue instead of screaming at you.

Psychologists will tell you that if you have someone raging at you, they are in a state that is impossible for them to reason.  They are well and truly unreasonable, and no longer capable of thinking logically.  They have to get out of that state in order for them to think logically and reasonably again.

And by the way, welcome!  Bar's over there Dude, grab any rug in the place!

[Sean_McDude1988]

Wow that's great! Thanks! I'll put those into action tomorrow for sure.

[DigitalBuddha]

Wow that's great! Thanks! I'll put those into action tomorrow for sure.

Sean_McDude1988, welcome to our beach party! Nice to have you here. Bars' over there, grab a place on the rug and abide, dude.

[jgiffin]

More often than not, just be being super dude about things, it transforms their reactionariness into dudeness. Kinda like a Dude-Kung, or Dude-Fu.

I like that concept. The world's least dangerous martial art for the world's slowest growing religion.

Welcome, abide, and remember all that Donny hath sacrificed for thee.