A Blended Family Dudeist Ceremony

[dudette2]

I was asked by this couple both to convert and to write this ceremony, as Big Lebowski as possible.  This involved both reading the holy texts and watching the holy cinematic works.  I didn't find a ton of resources, especially for the sand ceremony, and especially for a G-rated ceremony, so I borrowed from all sorts of places.  I thought this script might be helpful to some other Ordained Dudeist Priest looking for someone to borrow from.

I worked hard on this, and the bride and groom want it to be a surprise!  I hope they like it!  Wedding is tomorrow, wish me luck!

**************
Who gives this special lady to be married?  Everyone!  A gives this special lady!  Applause  Abide.  You may now be seated.

What a wonderful day!  We are here to celebrate holy matrimony, or in the parlance of our times a beautiful wedding.  We are gathered here to witness and bless a crazy little thing called love.  What we do here today is in the spirit of the laws of the State of State and in the beautiful tradition of marriage.  I find it fitting that we are here in a movie theater because this ceremony, in the grand scheme of cinematic history, fits right in this time and place.

When D and L asked me to officiate this wedding, it wasn?t just because they wanted a modestly priced receptacle, they also didn?t want anything traditional.  As you can see, this won?t be.  So, I ask you to stay with me for a few minutes, keep your mind limber, take it easy, and to not be uptight.  Don?t worry, you won?t need a program or anything and there?s no singing or hugging or funny business.  All you have to do is take it easy.  This will be quick, you?ve seen this before, and you already know how it ends.

We will start with a reading by D2. [reading]

Abide.  Thank you, D2.  Friends and dudes, you are gathered here because you have touched D?s and L?s lives in some way.  We have gathered here with different faiths, from different places, from places of great loss and struggle and success, we have all come together because ceremonies like this matter.  Coming together like this in this place and at this time to pour out love together on this couple matters.

I ask all of you stand.  You are now witnesses to this union and to this marriage.  I ask that we take a moment of silence so that you can pour out your well-wishes and blessings and love on D and L.  I hope that we can feel and taste and smell the love in this place.  When you have spilled out all your love, you may be seated.  [silence] Can you feel the love today?

INTENTION
So, I ask you D and L, in the presence of these friends and dudes, to take one another?s hands and declare your intention to enter into marriage with one another.

_______ is it your intention to have _________ be your husband and to live with him in the state of marriage?  Do you declare this intention before these compeers without compulsion and with joy?   Do you do this abidingly and without being uptight?

Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others to be faithful to him, and lovingly abide with him as long as you both shall live?

READING
I would now like to do a short reading from the Tao.

Difficult and easy bring about each other
Long and short reveal each other
High and low support each other
Music and voice harmonize each other
Front and back follow each other
Therefore the Sages manage the work of detached actions   Abide

A man much wiser than myself once said ?sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes - the bear he eats you?.  We all know that marriage is both a joyful and difficult journey.   You each bring your own strength and weakness to this union.   As you grow together, may you support and grow the strengths, goals and ambitions of your partner as well as your own. May you strive to be a rock of comfort and strength to support your partner's weakness.   

No matter what trials and tribulations the world throws in your path together with your combined Strength and Love ? may you be as the Sages of Old and always prepared to eat the bear.   Abide.

SAND CEREMONY
R, please come forward.   Everyone,  R is here!

To show their unity as a family and to tie the room together as well, this family has decided to perform a sand ceremony. D, L and R will all pour different colors of sand or whatnot into this modestly priced receptacle.  Just as when a drink is mixed it becomes a beverage, when the sand is mixed it combines into one and becomes inseperable.

Will you all please pour in your sand, representing your intention to live together as a family in love.  Everyone!   They have poured the sand!

You have shown before these gathered that you will not abide a line in the sand.  Like a beverage, this sand has combined to be more than its elements, forever.  And like a beverage, it is able to combine to make new colors, to spill and be refilled, to stain a rug, and to remove a stain, and to adapt to the shape of new receptacles.  May your family also.  Abide.

TOKENS
You have shared promises or whatnot in our presense.  Do you have a token to give to each other?  (Someone brings rings)  Please present the rings and repeat after me.

I give you this ring as a constant reminder of the promises we exchanged today.  As you receive this ring, receive my promise to abide always and forever with you.

You have exchanged promises, have exchanged tokens, have eliminated lines in the sand, and have taken it easy in our presence.  By these acts you have become matrimonially dudes.  According to the laws of the state of State and the powers ordained in me by the Dudely Lama, I pronounce you man and wife.

In the parlance of our times, you may now kiss the bride.

I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. D!

[Rev Doctor Abidingly]

Welcome to our beach community!  I think you'll find it to be a laid back and abiding place.  Thank you for posting this.   I think it will serve as a good outline to help out anyone performing a Dudeist wedding ceremony in the future.  It hits it think all the important notes IMDO.  I think you did a really good job!

Just as when a drink is mixed it becomes a beverage, when the sand is mixed it combines into one and becomes inseperable.

I especially liked this part of the ceremony!  That is well put!  Nice job!

[DigitalBuddha]

I was asked by this couple both to convert and to write this ceremony, as Big Lebowski as possible.  This involved both reading the holy texts and watching the holy cinematic works.  I didn't find a ton of resources, especially for the sand ceremony, and especially for a G-rated ceremony, so I borrowed from all sorts of places.  I thought this script might be helpful to some other Ordained Dudeist Priest looking for someone to borrow from.

SNIP...

No matter what trials and tribulations the world throws in your path together with your combined Strength and Love ? may you be as the Sages of Old and always prepared to eat the bear.   Abide.

SAND CEREMONY
R, please come forward.   Everyone,  R is here!

To show their unity as a family and to tie the room together as well, this family has decided to perform a sand ceremony. D, L and R will all pour different colors of sand or whatnot into this modestly priced receptacle.  Just as when a drink is mixed it becomes a beverage, when the sand is mixed it combines into one and becomes inseperable.

Will you all please pour in your sand, representing your intention to live together as a family in love.  Everyone!   They have poured the sand!

You have shown before these gathered that you will not abide a line in the sand.  Like a beverage, this sand has combined to be more than its elements, forever.  And like a beverage, it is able to combine to make new colors, to spill and be refilled, to stain a rug, and to remove a stain, and to adapt to the shape of new receptacles.  May your family also.  Abide.

TOKENS
You have shared promises or whatnot in our presense.  Do you have a token to give to each other?  (Someone brings rings)  Please present the rings and repeat after me.

I give you this ring as a constant reminder of the promises we exchanged today.  As you receive this ring, receive my promise to abide always and forever with you.

You have exchanged promises, have exchanged tokens, have eliminated lines in the sand, and have taken it easy in our presence.  By these acts you have become matrimonially dudes.  According to the laws of the state of State and the powers ordained in me by the Dudely Lama, I pronounce you man and wife.

In the parlance of our times, you may now kiss the bride.

I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. D!

Sounds exhausting, but I like it.  And dudette2, welcome to our beach community, mang. Good to see you in our family restaurant. Grab yurself place on the rug and abide, dudette. Bars' over there.

[Hominid]

Welcome D2...  your ceremony was a worthy achievement! Oh - um- it's past the 10th - just slip your rent under my door......

[dudette2]

Dudes, this ceremony went GREAT!

It was a surprise to everyone.  So, as expected, a lot of people were really confused.  Some started laughing.  There was a lot of mumbling.  I made a few impromptu jokes.  It went great.  It was definitely not uptight.  The couple were thrilled.

I hope this ceremony helps some other dudes write a wedding ceremony!

[The Daryl]

Dudes, this ceremony went GREAT!

It was a surprise to everyone.  So, as expected, a lot of people were really confused.  Some started laughing.  There was a lot of mumbling.  I made a few impromptu jokes.  It went great.  It was definitely not uptight.  The couple were thrilled.

I hope this ceremony helps some other dudes write a wedding ceremony!

Fantastic that it worked out according to plan. Looks like you put a lot of effort into the ceremony's planning; finding out it went smooth and the folks were thrilled is great news.

The wife and I were married a decade back in a "civil union" now THAT was fucking uptight man... The judge read from a hallmark greeting card (no shit). The reception with our friends and family made up for it... Anyways the point is, we've talked about renewing our vows some time on our terms, and this kind of thing sounds right up my alley. So thanks much for the food for thought to gnaw on.

[jgiffin]

Thanks for sharing that, dude. I'd be at a loss on where to start composing a ceremony. I'm sure time will prove you've helped quite a few matrimonial endeavors here.