That's Like Your Opinion Man...

[RevKHyler]

Just got off the phone with a parent who is very un-dude... Some of the strange stuff she gets off of those religi-television shows is just nutz, man! Anybody else have a situation like this? How do you handle it? (I just kept quiet on my side of the phone and thought WTF? to myself... Just sayin'...) 

[DigitalBuddha]

Just got off the phone with a parent who is very un-dude... Some of the strange stuff she gets off of those religi-television shows is just nutz, man! Anybody else have a situation like this? How do you handle it? (I just kept quiet on my side of the phone and thought WTF? to myself... Just sayin'...) 

I have a crazy friend into that shit; the "send us your money in Jesus' name" scam. He's into assholes like this dip shit undude.........

[Hominid]

Ya, my mom keeps telling me she prays for me, even though she knows I'm not a theist. It's her way of telling me she loves me; if she tried to argue and convert me, then that's not love. Big diff. Then there's the whack jobs. I don't know where your parent falls in the spectrum, but in the end, it's your reaction to undudeness that defines you.

[DigitalBuddha]

Ya, my mom keeps telling me she prays for me, even though she knows I'm not a theist. It's her way of telling me she loves me; if she tried to argue and convert me, then that's not love. Big diff. Then there's the whack jobs. I don't know where your parent falls in the spectrum, but in the end, it's your reaction to undudeness that defines you.

You vile heathen!!!!


p.s. love the new avatar, very dude-like

[Hominid]

Thanks man, I'm back into brewing beer so it's kinda fitting.

Cheers for beers!

[Masked Dude]

Brewing your own beer is.... hell, nothing like it.

[DigitalBuddha]

Thanks man, I'm back into brewing beer so it's kinda fitting.

Cheers for beers!

Self brewing, way cool! The beer drinker's version of "home growns' alright with me, home growns' a very good thing!"

[This Dude Abides]

Entire family has never been exactly "devout" followers of religion.  I was christened by Cardinal O'Connor though so guess that's something.   Far as take on religion?  Live your life, do the right thing, and believe someones watching out for you.  Do that and how can the big dude upstairs get mad at you for not sitting in a room on Sunday to listen to a guy ask for money? 

Rather be out, taking in the glory of the scenery he put here, drinking the hoppes he put on earth and catching the fish he put in the streams man. 

But once in awhile I run into the "born again" or the fundamentals.  Even at the job.  I'm a firm believer that anyone can believe what they want.  Psychic Tandem War Elephant, Flying Spaghetti Monster, C'Thulu, Santa...  Doesn't matter to me, and that's exactly what I'll tell them.

The moment it crosses from a simple discussion of what their beliefs are to "Oh don't you think YOU" is when I'll just shut it down.  Sorry I have to go, or I respect your opinion on the matter but I'd rather not get into this discussion. 

But I'm lucky in the sense that it's co-workers and such.  Family members would make the whole situation different I guess so I don't know exactly how that situation would go, but in the case you described? 

Simple acknowledgement and appreciation for the fact that the person is taking time to do something they think will benefit you I guess.  Wow, that sounds quite clinical when you put it that way.

[RevKHyler]

Mom can be pretty off the deep end with her fundamentalism (as can my other half siblings). I've figured it's best to love them and I know they're only doing it because they care but still...it gets under your skin and it may take a beverage or two to calm the inner dude.  Nice to know we're in good company.
(And home-brewing is awesome, by the way... Haven't done it for a while though. Used to do porters and stouts.)

[Fatdrifter]

Just got off the phone with a parent who is very un-dude... Some of the strange stuff she gets off of those religi-television shows is just nutz, man! Anybody else have a situation like this? How do you handle it? (I just kept quiet on my side of the phone and thought WTF? to myself... Just sayin'...)  :o

I just say "go on." It basically tells anyone else "it's fine just wear yourself out. I don't care, but I can see you're putting in the effort."

[roystonoboogie]

Here in the UK it's actually OK to be an atheist, pagan or other ungodly type. For the most part. I have friends and work colleagues who are Christians, they know I am not, and it's all fine and dandy with all concerned.


Hell, I even played a gig in a Baptist church a couple of weeks ago. I said to one of my God-bothering workmates "Is it OK to be setting up in front of the altar? We're not going to piss anyone off?" She said "No, Baptists are not like that, when the room's not full of people worshipping it's just a room. Now if it was a Catholic Church, it would be a different thing..." There wasn't even a 'You're an atheist asshole for not understanding this stuff' attitude, it was just like - this is my area of expertise, so I'll give you some information and advice. No problem from the believers, even in a church.


But we do have some real zealots, and unfortunately it seems that a lot of the money that is being fleeced from the credulous Stateside is being spent on spreading the somewhat dubious word over here. The UK Centre for Intelligent Design is based in Glasgow. There's not a lot of popular support for their ideas, but it doesn't stop them having a go.


They used to have a physical address posted on their website, but not any more. They are even more circumspect about where their money comes from, but it doesn't take a genius to work it out. They are feeding into a lot of Christian radio stations and Christian internet forums, trying to spread the word that evolution is 'just a theory' and that science must be wrong because it hasn't discovered everything yet.


Now *those* guys worry me...


They've got money and energy, and they want to make the UK have the same sort of attitude to science and education (ie it's suspicious, elitist and probably wants to take your guns away) as in the USA. Don't get me wrong, I have been to the States, I love the place, I love a lot of the people there, I love the music, the art, the culture. But man, you (as a country) have a problem with religion. Some greedy asshole starts fleecing people for money, but because he's carrying a Bible it's OK?


I don't want my country to go that way. I don't know how I will deal with it if it does. Neither do my biologist wife, or my chemical engineer-in-training son. But I digress...






Anyway, back to the OP: I spend a lot of time at work representing the views of people with significant mental health problems. I talk to a lot of people who have some pretty unrealistic and literally incredible worldviews. But I don't judge them for that: I have to represent what they say in a structured and measured way, so that their views are taken into account in their care and treatment. So I have some experience in listening to people with far-out ideas.


It is relatively easy to listen to that stuff in a detached and professional manner. It's a bit like counselling or life coaching: it's all about the person doing the talking, all you do is reflect their own words back at them, question their own ideas in relation to other ideas of their own. None of it is about you. The questioner has no personality.


The difficult bit is when it's family, close friends, workmates etc. and you cannot be detached and professional: they know you, they know that you know them, acting like a shrink all-of-a-sudden isn't going to cut it. You're going to come across very un-dude, very unlike you.


So you have to split the difference: they want to talk to you about their beliefs, then that's cool, you listen to them, don't disagree with them, nod and smile. But deflect anything that is aimed at your own beliefs, your faith, your immortal soul etc. Keep that barrier up. Don't be unfriendly, don't be an asshole about it, but just deflect anything about you, turn it back around into a point about the other person. Most people get bored talking about themselves after a while. The conversation will fizzle out.

[RevKHyler]

Took a tour of a mental hospital museum recently (a One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest exhibit) and learned that in the early days they used to put a lot of the more fervent pentecostals inside for fear that they'd harm themselves. Can't see a Dudeist getting into that kind of hot water...