JESUS had a special lady friend

[Masked Dude]

Let's assume the Christians are right about him being the literal son of God.
Let's assume he did the wild monkey dance with a chick.

What did he say during orgasm? I'm thinking "Oh, Dad!!!" might spoil the mood for her.

LMFAO this will not stand lol


No really other are for kinds of orgasms
The religious: oh god! Oh god!
The positive:  oh yes! Oh yes!
The negative: oh no! Oh no!
And
The fake:oh masked_dude! Oh marked_due!

I approve wholeheartedly!

[Zen Dog]

Well dudes, around that time and place,Canaan,The Promised Land,Israel,Judea,Palestine,The Holy Land,Outremer,Palestine again,Israel again, There were quite a number of Messiahs working the crowds. You see, there was a lot of uptight opinion going the rounds and the reason is this;Way back in the mists of time,these Jewish dudes got into a bit  of a discussion about a number of things and so deep was this that no matter what happened to them they never let go.It's like,the Landlord is managing to chuck them out 2 hours after last orders but they are still discussing the finer points of the Offside rule and failing to notice that they are on the street in the rain.JC may or may not have been real and Davy Crockett may have grinned a bear to death but Christianity was invented by a chap named Paul and that is a fact.

[Zen Dog]

Lost my train of thought there somewhere.But there are a number of elements.Oh yeah, the wedding at Cana or where ever.It was customary in that time and place for the bridegroom to provide the beveridges apparently.So who did the lads report to when the refreshments ran out? Water into wine my arse.They are all pished.You could sell them anything.He obviously had a stash for just in case Judas brought a few of his mates.

[Caesar dude]

That didn't happen either!!

[Hominid]

Lost my train of thought there somewhere.But there are a number of elements.Oh yeah, the wedding at Cana or where ever.It was customary in that time and place for the bridegroom to provide the beveridges apparently.So who did the lads report to when the refreshments ran out? Water into wine my arse.They are all pished.You could sell them anything.He obviously had a stash for just in case Judas brought a few of his mates.

It's all fairy tales; regurgitated stories from centuries before.

[Caesar dude]

It's all fairy tales; regurgitated stories from centuries before.

Dude!!!

[Zen Dog]

The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail dudes. It's all in there.

[meekon5]

The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail dudes. It's all in there.

Actually the Holy blood and the Holy grail is a very poorly argued and based on an earlier text (which is why they failed to sue Dan brown).

One of the major premisses "The Priory of Sion" (Prieure de Sion) is actually a joke created by a sixties surrielist, so actually a surealistic joke.

The most controversial is a fringe fraternal organisation, founded and dissolved in France in 1956 by Pierre Plantard. In the 1960s, Plantard created a fictitious history for that organisation, describing it as a secret society founded by Godfrey of Bouillon on Mount Zion in the Kingdom of Jerusalem in 1099, conflating it with a genuine historical monastic order, the Abbey of Our Lady of Mount Zion. In Plantard's version, the priory is devoted to installing a secret bloodline of the Merovingian dynasty on the thrones of France and the rest of Europe. This myth was expanded upon and popularised by the 1982 pseudohistorical book The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail and later claimed as factual in the preface of the 2003 conspiracy fiction novel The Da Vinci Code.

After becoming a cause c?l?bre from the late 1960s to the 1980s, the mythical Priory of Sion was exposed as a ludibrium created by Plantard as a framework for his claim of being the Great Monarch prophesied by Nostradamus. Evidence presented in support of its historical existence and activities before 1956 was discovered to have been forged and then planted in various locations around France by Plantard and his accomplices. Nevertheless, many conspiracy theorists still persist in believing that the Priory of Sion is an age-old cabal that conceals a subversive secret.

Sorry but the Holy Blood and the Holy Grail is very poorly researched and put together.

[meekon5]

though there are other inferences.

As I've said before to be called Rabi Jesus would have had to "Known" a women in the personal sense.

There are also references to the gospel according to Mary Magdalene in the Nag Hamadi Library, which also includes a reference to the gospel according to Thomas the Doubter as well.

See the interesting bits of the bible where in the uncompromised first draft.

[Zen Dog]

M5,I said it was all in there.I didn't say I believed it.After doing my own research I disposed of the tome years ago.Nowadays,I prefer Terry Pratchett for reviewing the human condition.He's much more believable.

[meekon5]

I hear you  Zen Dog. It's just one of my "joneses" whenever Holy Blood, or Da Vinci Code, is mentioned.

There is also some very interesting archeological evidence that seems to suggest that Jehovah had a female opposite in very early versions of Judaism.

Which goes back to my own personal theory that (misogynistic) monotheism is a corruption of religion that stems from Tutankhamun's father, Akhenaton who declared himself the one (and only) god above all others.

[milnie]

M5,I said it was all in there.I didn't say I believed it.After doing my own research I disposed of the tome years ago.Nowadays,I prefer Terry Pratchett for reviewing the human condition.He's much more believable.

Pratchett certainly has some entertaining views on the human condition. Shame he's not long for this world I fear. He's pro-choice for self termination and as his illness progresses, may soon be taking a one way trip to Switzerland

M5, I thought after akhenatons death the people rebelled and started worshiping the old gods ?

[Zen Dog]

I wouldn't have thought all of them converted back.Maybe they were the "Hebrews"!  The Hyksos were semitic and they are the only recorded people who were 'thrown out' of Egypt.Apart maybe from the Nubians.The Jews largely originated in Canaan but the place was a crossroads of cultures.Ba'al,the main god of the Canaanites was depicted as a bull,the same golden calf that the children of Israel were making when Moses came down off the mountain with the 10 commandments.A variation of ba'al was El.The el in Isra'el whose early consort just happened to be Asharah who equates with Ishtar and Isis amongst others.I think the whole story has a simple origin.The Great Bull of Heaven who makes the thunder etc impregnates Mother Earth with his seed (meteorites)  who gives birth to all life.Pass that story around for a few thousand years tacking bits on here and there and see what you get.The oldest carved figure ever found is of a headless female with big tits.And there's loads of them.

[Zen Dog]

So it's all about sex really.Simples.

[meekon5]

Pratchett certainly has some entertaining views on the human condition. Shame he's not long for this world I fear. He's pro-choice for self termination and as his illness progresses, may soon be taking a one way trip to Switzerland

I walked past him in the museum a couple of weeks ago. Didn't have the time to stop as i was rushing to a meeting.

:-(

M5, I thought after akhenatons death the people rebelled and started worshiping the old gods ?

Actually isn't it more "After the Priest cast had him assassinated and put his boy child (Tuten) in charge of things, they went back to the more profitable pantheism".

It just seems anachronistic that the majority of religions (not Abraham related, or descended) are pantheistic, yet Judaism is individually monotheistic.

Even the Romans were pantheistic until bloody Constantine converted. Then they followed their very successful campaign of "convert or we'll kill you, rape all your women, and sell your children into slavery, and may very well do that anyway".