A slightly more traditional Dudeist wedding ceremony

[faho]

I'm officiating my first Dudeist wedding in FL later in this week.  I will be officiating my SD's wedding in April in NC.  Note that I have strongly advised both sets of parties that it would behoove them to conduct a Justice o'the Peace ceremony either immediately before or after - so there's never any question on legality in those jurisdictions.

Anyway...kinda lost my train of thought....

Oh - in both cases, it's likely a variety of dudes and squares may be in attendance to wish the couples well; so I grabbed a few ideas off this board, got myself a copy of the Tao, and developed a sort of quasi-traditional and semi-dudeist non-denominational wedding ceremony to keep everyone happy.  Or keep everyone pissed off.  Whatever is their opinion, man.  I got me a fancy priest sash with Dudeist patches that I can wear with a bathrobe or a suit coat - so fuck 'em. 

Anyway - I toss this out as a template for any other ordained Dudeist Priest/Reverend/Minister/ or What Have You to comment on, edit, and use for your own services if you wish.  (note the "New Day" and "Dawn" references are for a specific outdoor ceremony timed to coincide with sunrise) 

Greeting
Friends and dudes, we are gathered together this morning to witness and bless the joining together of

BRIDE FULL NAME and GROOM FULL NAME in Marriage.

   BRIDE and GROOM have come before us, to give themselves freely to one another in this bond of Love, Trust and Faith. 


DECLARATION OF INTENT

Bride and Groom,  I ask you in the presence of these friends and dudes to take one another's hands and formally declare your intention to enter into marriage with one another.
       
Pastor to Bride:
Bride, is it your intent to have Groom to be your Husband,
   and to live together with him in the state of marriage?

Bride  It is.

Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him,
   in sickness and in health,
   forsaking all others be faithful to him,
   and lovingly abide with him
   for as long as you both shall live?

Bride:  I will.

Pastor to Groom:
   Groom, is it your intent to have Bride to be your Wife,
   and to live together with her in the state of marriage?

   Groom:  It is.

   Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her,
   in sickness and in health,
   forsaking all others be faithful to her,
   and lovingly abide with her
   for as long as you both shall live?

   Groom: I will.


PRAYER

The world is filled with different faiths and beliefs - many of which are represented here this morning.   I ask each of you to take a moment of silence ? and in accordance with your own beliefs - wish Strength, Joy, Peace and Undying Love upon this union.
(30 seconds of silence)    Abide.

PROCLAMATION

Tao Reading                      Verse 2

Difficult and easy bring about each other
Long and short reveal each other
High and low support each other
Music and voice harmonize each other
Front and back follow each other
Therefore the Sages manage the work of detached actions   Abide

Sermon - A man much wiser than myself once said ?sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes - the bear he eats you?.  We know that marriage is both a joyful yet difficult journey. The success of a marriage is as dependent on mutual support as much as it is upon Love.

Bride, Groom - You each bring your own strength and weakness to this union.   Always remember that you must support and grow the strengths, goals and ambitions of your partner as well as your own. You must also strive to be a rock of comfort and strength to support your partner's weakness.   

As ?High and Low support each other?, so must you complement one another.  As ?music and voice harmonize each other?, so each of you must daily strive to become more than the sum of your parts -and ensure that your relationship is always your highest priority.
As ?front and back follow each other?, so must you always realize that this relationship is a journey - not a destination.  Never forget that you are equal partners in this journey.  In order to gain wisdom as the Sages of the Tao; you must seek to gain further understanding of yourselves - and each other - with each passing day. 

This will ensure that your Love continues to grow.  Then no matter what trials and tribulations the world throws in your path ? together ? with your combined Strength and Love - you will be as the Sages of Old ? and you will always be prepared to eat the bear.


THE MARRIAGE


BLESSING AND EXCHANGE OF RINGS
(hand rings to Pastor)

These rings are the outward and visible sign
   of an inward and abiding Love -
        signifying to all others the unbreakable union of
   Bride and Groom in marriage.

With the giving of these rings, we express our hope that those who wear them may live together in Peace and Love for all the days of their lives.  Abide.
(rings returned to Bride and Groom to place)


EXCHANGE OF VOWS

Groom, do you now take Bride to be your wife, to love her, honor her, comfort and cherish her?  Forsaking all others, will you remain honest and faithful to her, to have and to hold, and lovingly abide with her for the rest of your days?   

Groom Responds  (hopefully, ?I do? and places ring on Bride) 

Bride, do you now take Groom to be your husband, to love him, honor him, comfort and cherish him?  Forsaking all others, will you remain honest and faithful to him, to have and to hold, and lovingly abide with him for the rest of your days?   

Bride Responds   (hopefully, ?I do? and places ring on Groom) 

THE KISS

Over time, the laws of man have required three actions to constitute a recognized state of marriage ? a formal  declaration of intent, a public profession of vows, and a Sealing of those vows with a Physical Act of Love.  By the bounds of contemporary community standards, this is usually accomplished by a kiss.  You dudes may now seal your vows before this assembly as you see fit in order to bring Dawn to this New Day.   

DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE

Seeing that Bride and Groom
have given themselves to each other today
by expression of intent,
by expression of their solemn and public vows,
with the joining of their hands
and the giving and receiving of rings,
and by sealing their vows with a kiss -
I now proclaim that in accordance with their beliefs and the laws of the State of (where were we?);
they are now Husband and Wife.
May their Love continue to grow for all the days of their lives.  Abide.


BLESSING OF THE MARRIAGE      
We now bless this union with a second reading from the Tao.
      
Tao Reading                Verse 22
Yield and remain whole
Bend and remain straight
Be low and become filled
Be worn out and become renewed
The Sages hold to the One as an example to the world
Abide

May the union of Bride and Groom remain strong and everlasting, and be a shining example to the world as this new day dawns.     


PRESENTATION:

Friends and dudes, it is my honor and privilege to be the first to introduce to you ? as husband and wife -

Groom and Bride LastName

?It's their turn to roll.?

[faho]

Don't know where all those question marks came from .... cut and paste can be your friend - or it can be the bear.   

[DigitalBuddha]

Don't know where all those question marks came from .... cut and paste can be your friend - or it can be the bear.   

Congrats, dude; a very dude-like wedding, mang! Welcome to the beach party. The trampoline is over there, as is the bar.

The question marks are there because when you past in text from another source, sometimes the background coding for some symbols don't make it over properly and are displayed as question marks. Fuck it, dude, no worries.

[milnie]

thats fairly cool man. been a lot of discussion on this kind of activity and what is appropriate words when officiating weddings.
I have a vague memory of a tv program or cartoon where a lounge lizard type minister is conducting a wedding by simply asking:
"do you (then points at groom) take (points at bride) to be your wife?" then to bride "same question, names reversed?" "I now pronounce you man and wife" keep thinking it was a simpsons or futurama episode but not sure.
short and to the point - thats a dudeist wedding if you rinto the brevity thing (and doing the least amount of work)

[meekon5]

Don't know where all those question marks came from .... cut and paste can be your friend - or it can be the bear.  

Usually the forum doesn't recognise M$ word coding for " so shows ?, but as DB says copying from other sources corrupts the ", ? is the default error for punctuation.

[meekon5]

This seems to  be more Taoist than Dudeist to me (not complaining or judging here).

[DigitalBuddha]

This seems to  be more Taoist than Dudeist to me (not complaining or judging here).

Hey M5, was thinking that there is a lot of comparison with Dudeism to Eastern thoughts and concepts, but we haven't heard much from the point of view of Paganism and Dudeism. You being a practicing Pagan should have good material to share that I believe would expand out Dudeist thinking. Knowing little about modern Paganism, I couldn't offer much down that trail. How about it, dude, any ideas from the Pagan corner that you think would expand out Dudeist thinking and add to it?

My thinking here is that everyone's experiences and opinions helps to expand out Dudeism. The more the better IMHO!

[faho]

Thanks for the vibes, compeers.   And for the formatting pointers :-D   I've come to expect that behavior from html code, but didn't think about it from an OpenOffice doc.    And yes meekon5 - I chose Tao for a philosophical (rather than religious) base - since it's sort of a progenitor to the 'take 'er easy" ethos of Dudeism.  Made sure I hit all the basics to keep The Man happy wherever our ordination may be accepted.   Wrapped it in hopefully just enough traditional ceremony to keep all the in-laws happy.  This version gets its first run Friday morning - we'll see if it turns out to be strike or a gutter.  Either way, it should be obvious I'm not into the whole brevity thing ;-)

[Andrea Da Fino]

Very interesting faho, mark it 8.

[faho]

First ceremony went well.....   at least the small and very informal party in attendance seemed to think so.   In spite of fog and frost in the field for sunrise ;-)   Now we'll see what my SD thinks in April; for a much larger and bit more "formal" shindig.   

[Jasonp0]

perhaps in the vows you should add something about remaining bowling partners whether it be gutter balls or strikes.

[dudeismdude]

I love the idea of dudeist weddings and even dudeist funerals. My wife and I used a methodist minister and I felt like such a hypocrite. When my mother passed (she was not what I'd call a holy roller) we felt compelled to hire a minister. He did a real good job until he started with the fire and brimstone and how it wasn't too late to come to Jesus. Obviously we made a mistake!

I wish we had taken a dudeist approach and had a funeral that would have more accurately reflected her and her friends and loved ones values.

I believe there will be more a bigger demand for dudeist type ceremonies than traditional ceremonies once more people become aware of dudeism.