Here is another PM I sent to a member dude...

[DigitalBuddha]

* Here is another PM I sent to a member dude...

_________ dude, you have some really good observations and ideas about Dudeism that should be heard, but as in all efforts in getting other people to consider and value your input, wise diplomacy can really help. Expressing ideas is all about the relationship you have with people.

If your relationship is a good one, they will be far more open to your good ideas, but if your relationship is a negative one, you can shout all day and even make good points but people will be far less likely to listen to you. This is just basic common sense and a good strategy in communication. And, good communication is important if we are going to engage in some development of Dudeist thinking.

Sometimes you have to set aside the desires to always be right and forcing other people to see your point. Try backing off a bit, let other people have the front seat sometimes. Express your points of view and be wise enough to except that your ideas will not always be excepted, and if they aren't, that's OK too.

You will never win favor with people by having to be right all the time even if you are right. Sometimes people will disagree with you up front, but if they have a positive feeling about you, will often reconsider later on what you have to say.

Trust me, dude, you are closing door after door to others dudes who will in time, no matter what you say, reject you and you point of view simply because they feel you are too pushy, coming on to strong, or have to right all the time.

Chill a little bit, in a relaxed and even humble way, express your ideas and let others do the same. Getting into wars with other dudes will never serve your cause. It will never help you have your ideas considered.

In other words "don't shout so loud that people can't hear you."

Abide dude.    All IMHO.

** FOOTNOTE from DB.......

Debating is a good thing, but when it turns into a war of one person against another, or one idea against another, all we do is, well, WAR. And sometimes little is accomplished. It would be better if all ideas, even inaccurate or wrong ideas, were seen as springboards to better ideals.

You can even build on bad ideas and help them develop into good ideas. But to do so, we must set aside a constant temptation to fight for our ideas and champion our point of view as the one and only "best" idea no matter the cost. This concept is working together, not working against each other.

Hope that helps. 

[Caesar dude]

It's not going to help because "thinking"dude neither thinks nor is dudelike.

He's shown his true colours (note spelling yankees ) By stomping up and down and demanding that HIS topic is removed.

He is absolutely not going to listen to anyone no matter how reasonably the request is put across because he is right (probably divine in his mind) and he does not see that the best way to integrate oneself into any community is to initially keep a low profile and then gently ease oneself into the conversations that are going on around you and then offering opinions etc. His modus operandi is to simply behave like a bull in a china shop and then tell everyone else they are wrong. Then when he doesn't like the responses he complains that he is being hard done by.

The guy in my very humble opinion is a complete and utter wanker.

Thank you for your time.

Peace dudes. (not you obviously.... thinker.)

[forumdude]

let's not call each other names ok? everyone got angry at thinkingdude for calling meekon a rug pisser. but calling him a complete and utter wanker isn't cool either. it certainly doesn't help clean up the mess that the forum has become lately.

obviously a lot of people are pissed off at thinkingdude. i wasn't privy to the shit that went down and he deleted all his posts so i can't see what happened. the fact that he deleted them all is pretty undude in my opinion and i wish there was a way to prevent that from happening (i could make it impossible for people to edit their posts but that seems extreme).

can someone summarize what happened without resorting to being nasty? make a case for why thinkingdude should be talked to about his behavior? because besides his requests to lock topics and presume ownership of his topics and delete his posts, what has he done that's so objectionable? even calling meekon a rug pisser doesn't seem so out of line considering the way many of you all talk to and about each other.

i'm happy to listen, so long as the sound is pleasant to listen to.

[Caesar dude]

As I said Forum dude. That is my very humble opinion and I'm not going to edit my post or remove it.

My reasons for stating that are nothing to do with what he called Meekon. The guy is either a child or on imbecile or perhaps both.

I pm'd you yesterday with my thoughts as of now you so far have not responded.

Cheers big dude.

[DigitalBuddha]

Hey ForumDude, I think that offering some compelling wisdom that would empower thinkingdude to express his ideas in a more diplomatic way would be the first thing to do. This I have done.

I look at it this way; some people are not as experienced in chat room etiquette as others and the ability to publish your thoughts on a chat board perhaps read by hundreds, if not thousands of people, can be intoxicating. That is to say that some people just need some help and encouragement to use such a facility, and the power of it, in a manner that wields it wisely. Otherwise........

The other alternative is to call Walter and have him pull a piece out on the lane and shoot the dude! LOL, just kidding!

In all seriousness, I have a had a "PM chat" with thinkingdude and I think we need to give him some space to absorb what was advised to him. The concept here is to help another dude be more dude like. Are we not all in need of that at times? So, I vote for taking a break here and let's see how it proceeds.

[forumdude]

not asking you to edit it or remove it. just wish you wouldn't throw more fuel on the fire. i don't see how it helps. we've all got our opinions, but if they're unnecessarily incendiary then they can foment brawls. or, in this case, just keep them from dying down.

i got your pm. thanks. i took your advice to heart but i can't do much because i don't understand what it is that thinkindude has done to invoke so much ire on the part of so many. i've not been privy to the undude shit.

i think digitalbuddha so far has the most admirably dude attitude about this. he's giving thinkingdude the benefit of the doubt - that perhaps he doesn't know that this isn't 'nam and that there are rules. he just doesn't know what they are yet. that sounds like the most reasonable explanation i've heard so far.

[Caesar dude]

Fair play. There will be no more derogatory comments from me.

I've been in touch with DB and yes he's the voice of reason. So lets see where this takes us.I'd love for us all to get back to where we were prior to this guys ordination.

Peace.

[DigitalBuddha]

Cool, this may be a chance to show and act on "the better inner dude" of our personal dudeness.

There are always options to solve any problem here on the board, so let's give it some time and see if we can't handle this situation working together to solve a problem that in no way is bigger than us. You don't think we're rolling out naked, did ya?

Nothing to fear here dudes, nothing is fucked; there is plenty of wisdom in the dudely group mind to keep things cool and dude-like. Let's get us as lane and let the Tau of Dudeism take it's course.

Personally, I think small problems and minor crisis like this serve to test and develop our dudeness and makes us stronger. The old saying of "when life tosses you a lemon, make lemonade." Or, perhaps; "when life drops a hemp leaf on you, roll it."

[hannahdude]

and may i just add, for the sake of intellectual introspection.....vagina.

[DigitalBuddha]

and may i just add, for the sake of intellectual introspection.....vagina.

LMAO!! Not sure I get that one, but who am I to argue with vagina? 

[A.B. Dude]

Or, "when life gives you lemons, you say 'Fuck the lemons', and bail."

[DigitalBuddha]

Or, "when life gives you lemons, you say 'Fuck the lemons', and bail."

Or maybe just add some vodka to the lemonade and get drunk 

[hannahdude]

wow,man, i just had vodka with fresh lemons. oh, and dominoes pizza. but thats a post for the 'guilty pleasures thread.
and please! 'vagina' fits right in there, its a word for its time and place. its an action stopper, a one word statement that gauges a mans comfort level and makes a woman feel strong. vagina.
we're not such a mens club that we dont recongize iconic 'maude' lines, are we?
oh, im so fucked up right now. pizza and vodka. oh, and coen brothers movies to watch all night.

[forumdude]

Or, "when life gives you lemons, you say 'Fuck the lemons', and bail."

ha ha. i love that scene. i think it was the best one in the whole movie. paul rudd is a very dudely actor.

[A.B. Dude]

I like sour stuff, so I actually just eat lemons. But I like to add a wedge of lemon to some whiskey and 7-up.