Losing your temper

[thuni]

I am new to this forum, so you dudes will just have to, like, excuse me if my question has already been asnwered.
So, I was thinking that losing my temper is very un-dude, but what if someone came up to me (for any reason whatsoever) and really started bugging me and talking trash, perhaps the fascist would even hurl his coffee cup at me or hit me, what should I do? Should I just walk away (or in a more extreme case take a beating) or fight back. Fighting back with physical force sounds very un-dude and unappealing to me personally.
What would the Dude do?

[cckeiser]

Every incident has different circumstances, so your description is too vague to actually know what are the reasons for the attack.
See if you can calm the situation down with a friendly "Dude...what's the problem man? Why all the hostility dude?"
If that doesn't work...call a cop...then sue the fucker.

[Busmum]

welcome thuni-- did someone point out the bar yet? grab a refreshment, and pull up a rug...

personally, i don't think that losing one's temper is particularly undude... it's just emotions man, and like a summer storm, tend to pass quickly. what's undude is when you use losing your temper as an excuse to be shitty, in word or deed.

ignoring aggression or walking away is always a good 1st line of defense, but in reality doesn't always work. for myself, i'm not shy to defend myself or my loved ones physically when necessary, but if you're not comfortable doing this, you just need to get yourself safe in whatever manner you're able.

of course, with my excellent schmoozing skills, i'm rarely the target of uncalled-for aggression 

dudely is, as dudely does. 

[cckeiser]

Yeah, what Busmum said, and always remember...as Meekon5 pointed out...don't be a Dick!

[BikerDude]

I think it is Un-Dude.
But even the Dude was Un-Dude on occasion.
Heck Walter said it.

DUDE
We're screwed now!  We don't get
shit and they're gonna kill her!  
We're fucked, Walter!

WALTER
Dude, nothing is fucked.  Come on.  
You're being very unDude.  They'll
call back.


Think of it this way. In Christianity they had their hardcore adherents with hair shirts and living a life of singular devotion with no wiggle room. It was heaven or eternal hell fire. Then you had the "I'm Ok yer OK" hip Christians that came along in the seventies strumming guitars and bending the rules.

We just never bothered with the first phase. Go with the flow. If you can dig it, it's totally Dude to be Un-Dude on occasion. IMHO the Dude vision does not stress perfection. We Abide imperfection.

[Rev. Ed C]

There's some good stuff in the newly published Abide Guide on things like that.  Such as Dudejitsu, the art of calmly deflecting the undudeness of other people

[thuni]

Alrighty, thank you for all your answers, good shit man! Will check out Dudejitsu and just keep on abidin'

[Rev. R Lewis]

It is important to realize that when someone else is un-dude to you that it is not your problem, it is theirs. Something in their world is creating an unbalanced non peaceful state. All you have to do is know that their is nothing wrong in your world and the good vibes will flow to others. There's nothing wrong with walking away from confrontation either. Love all, always and that is what you will receive.

[Hominid]

I'm sure there's some new shit that has come to light for you, thanks to these wise words.  Fer me, I've also learned that the less stressed I become, the less aggression I attract. Don't worry about what *may* happen, 'cause it likely won't anyhow. And, it helps to be 250 pounds as well...  ;-)