"The Dude Abides. So Can I."

[Pancake Waitress]

This thread's title came rushing in to my head last week, pre-empting a mini-freakout that threatened my newfound Dudeness. It was almost like an acid flashback, but... Ah heck. Jus' grab an oat soda and I'll tell you the story.

My special gentleman and I were camping in a nice beachside community (it was an island, if you wanna get technical) for a few days last week. Beautiful - our campsite was a quick walk to some fabulous beaches, man. Our first day/evening there, we walked out to a rocky coastline, which I love so well. We stared out at the open sea 'round sunset for a while. We fuckin' took 'er easy and it was heaven. Rocky coastline is one of the best places on earth.

Walking back, we somehow lost our way. We discovered that the island was considerably larger than we had previously thought. We kept walking, because those dirt roads all connected to each other at some point, and we knew we'd find a familiar one. 'Cept when we got to the end of a road and there was a house and a small marina we'd never seen before. It was gettin' pretty dark, and the mosquitoes were using us as their buffet. We didn't have any idea how far away we were from our campsite.

Me, I'm prone to anxiety. Always have been. Only recently have I understood a little better how it works, and how to cope with it, tamp it down. It's far from gone, though. I also like to know where I am, where I'm going, and have some basic physical comforts. So, my monkey brain began chattering and getting worked up, trying to freak me out, though I spared my special gentleman the verbalization of these increasingly panicked thoughts.

I looked up at the sky, took a deep breath, and as unexpectedly as a Marmot gets dropped into someone's bathtub, the fully formed thought "The Dude Abides. So can I." popped into my head. Next thing you know, I'm laughing at the ridiculousness of getting panicky in this beautiful place, and everything's fine. Got back to our campsite about 20 minutes or so later, had several oat sodas, and all was right with the world.

Has anything like this ever happened to you Dudes? Almost like The Stranger whispered a helpful narrative into your ear or what-not when you needed it?

[Busmum]

Mine is more along the lines of a hammer, or knife, rather than a helpful whisper, in the effect it has on my conscious mind. it tends to jolt, and get my attention (much like a whistle from my dad a few blocks away could cut through the most mundane background noise as a child).

i imagine if it were a gentle experience for me, i might not pay overt attention-- rather, it would be like letting it seep into my brain through the back door, then coming into the kitchen and saying, "oh! there you are!"  not a bad scenario, on second thought  

you'd think that being lost on an island, it would be easy to get back, yah? we ended up miles away from our car one time, and while we knew that eventually we'd run into it, it was a stressful walk!

I like it as a mantra though...

[Pancake Waitress]

  It's really not a big island, either!

That's cool that you get the jolts! Sounds like some good stories there, Busmum - come on, tell us some! (I'm jumping up and down like an impatient tween. I love stories!)

This is hard to word, but I'll try... I've slowly come to see The Tao (with my very limited understanding) and Abiding and Dudeness as just being here, there, everywhere, and to tap into it, I just need to take a few deep breaths, drop the shoulders, and open up to it. When I'm able to do that, stuff starts to fall into place. I guess it is pretty gentle!

Bah - wording this is hard, but it's fun to try.

[Busmum]

for the most part, i feel connected to the universe.. like... um... well... like an excellent bassline that is constantly thrumming through everything. i see our experience as one giant dance, or concert (it would not be a bad comparison if you imagined a favored dead show experience at this point, or even a fab drum circle jam), and our bassline runs through it, so it's easy to grab ahold and tap into it-- i just imagine joining the dance.  so my little nudge has to have some oomph, lol...

so, yeah... just being there in the dance, or the bassline, or the moment... yeah 

shit-- if i'm this esoteric stone cold sober... well, someone pass that j my way please, i've got some world peace to work on, hahaha 

[A.B. Dude]

I'm a pretty anxious person too (in fact last night I had to "abide" myself through a panic attack that lasted a half an hour) but I've found that my "abiding" usually shines through while I'm at work more than anywhere else. Usually by myself or with a close friend (a Walter, if you will) I give myself a little leeway to be undude. Even the Dude slips up occasionally.

But at work, when I have rude customers or coworkers that treat me like shit, I have that split second of "what the fuck man" but my brain instantly goes, "Fuck it, Dude. Just abide." and I feel much better. Also participating in activities that make me feel relaxed (baking, drinking with close friends, grilling outdoors, and gardening) usually helps to maintain the anxiety that sometimes pops up out of nowhere.

I have a long way to go until I'll be as Dude as possible. But it's a work in progress.

Best of luck to you in your newfound Dudeness.

[Busmum]

i'm seeing a pattern here, in terms of anxiety. i have issues with it myself (nearly 20 years), so reminding myself to abide (consciously or otherwise) is a good tactic.

i'd rather do it without the benefit of an external aid, but i'm not above a strategic {insert fun of choice} 

[Pancake Waitress]

I'm a pretty anxious person too (in fact last night I had to "abide" myself through a panic attack that lasted a half an hour) but I've found that my "abiding" usually shines through while I'm at work more than anywhere else. Usually by myself or with a close friend (a Walter, if you will) I give myself a little leeway to be undude. Even the Dude slips up occasionally.

But at work, when I have rude customers or coworkers that treat me like shit, I have that split second of "what the fuck man" but my brain instantly goes, "Fuck it, Dude. Just abide." and I feel much better. Also participating in activities that make me feel relaxed (baking, drinking with close friends, grilling outdoors, and gardening) usually helps to maintain the anxiety that sometimes pops up out of nowhere.

I have a long way to go until I'll be as Dude as possible. But it's a work in progress.

Best of luck to you in your newfound Dudeness.

Thanks, A.B. Dude. I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough time - panic attacks are so awful. I don't seem to get them much anymore (knock on wood), but used to - and you have my sympathy. Not that you asked, but here's something worth trying, maybe, if you don't mind a little bit of the woo-woo - there's a line of flower essences by Bach, and there's one called "Rescue Remedy" that's a surprisingly helpful calmer-downer. Here's a little info: http://www.directlyfromnature.com/RescueRemedy.htm  Even my grocery store carries this stuff in the natural foods section, so it's accessible.

Ugh, dealing with customers *and* shitty co-workers just plain sucks. That's a strong testament to your character that you can abide even in a dealing-with-the-public job. Seriously impressed!

i'm seeing a pattern here, in terms of anxiety. i have issues with it myself (nearly 20 years), so reminding myself to abide (consciously or otherwise) is a good tactic.

i'd rather do it without the benefit of an external aid, but i'm not above a strategic {insert fun of choice} 

It is very fucking interesting - I've seen a lot of fellow/sister nervous nellies on here - all saying how much Dudeism has helped. Must be something to that, huh?

[Pancake Waitress]

for the most part, i feel connected to the universe.. like... um... well... like an excellent bassline that is constantly thrumming through everything. i see our experience as one giant dance, or concert (it would not be a bad comparison if you imagined a favored dead show experience at this point, or even a fab drum circle jam), and our bassline runs through it, so it's easy to grab ahold and tap into it-- i just imagine joining the dance.  so my little nudge has to have some oomph, lol...

so, yeah... just being there in the dance, or the bassline, or the moment... yeah 

shit-- if i'm this esoteric stone cold sober... well, someone pass that j my way please, i've got some world peace to work on, hahaha 

Oh! I must add, that speaking as a bass player, I very much adore this analogy, Busmum Dude! <3

[Busmum]

for the most part, i feel connected to the universe.. like... um... well... like an excellent bassline that is constantly thrumming through everything. i see our experience as one giant dance, or concert (it would not be a bad comparison if you imagined a favored dead show experience at this point, or even a fab drum circle jam), and our bassline runs through it, so it's easy to grab ahold and tap into it-- i just imagine joining the dance.  so my little nudge has to have some oomph, lol...

so, yeah... just being there in the dance, or the bassline, or the moment... yeah 

shit-- if i'm this esoteric stone cold sober... well, someone pass that j my way please, i've got some world peace to work on, hahaha 

Oh! I must add, that speaking as a bass player, I very much adore this analogy, Busmum Dude! <3

is that a stand-up bass i see in your avatar pic? brilliant! you hold the key to life's mysteries in your beautiful fingers! and probably your hips and back and arms too, lol

[Pancake Waitress]

is that a stand-up bass i see in your avatar pic? brilliant! you hold the key to life's mysteries in your beautiful fingers! and probably your hips and back and arms too, lol

Indeed it is! It is a total blast to play - and now, there's even more reason to love it. Thank you for that!

Also, it's early here, but nonetheless, the oat sodas in your signature line look DELICIOUS.

[Busmum]

is that a stand-up bass i see in your avatar pic? brilliant! you hold the key to life's mysteries in your beautiful fingers! and probably your hips and back and arms too, lol

Indeed it is! It is a total blast to play - and now, there's even more reason to love it. Thank you for that!

Also, it's early here, but nonetheless, the oat sodas in your signature line look DELICIOUS.

ahhh... the goddess of oat sodas does highly recommend a guinness for brekkie, lol... but you should really try a shandy*! it's the bestest tastiest, imo!


*1/2 bass ale, 1/2 lemonade-- can't beat it!

[Pancake Waitress]

*gasp!* A Shandy sounds amazing! What a great way to stretch one's oat soda supply, too! I'm going to have to try this this weekend.

Cheers, dear!

[meekon5]

Damn you woman, a shandy is exactly what I could do with now.

Nice Sussex backwater pub, a few mates, and a pint of shandy in the afternoon sun, Dudevana.

[Busmum]

ahhh... meekon... i just close my eyes-- and pour out a lovely for us'ns and the mates... c'mon PW!

we don't really have a local pub, as such; maybe i can sweet talk the reverend Mr. Busmum into getting some lemonade at the market... i think we have the bass. yum!

[Busmum]

*gasp!* A Shandy sounds amazing! What a great way to stretch one's oat soda supply, too! I'm going to have to try this this weekend.

Cheers, dear!

serve very chilled-- you can put it over ice if needed (tho the purists might be gasping-- they don't have to deal with 100+ degree heat like the so-cal folks)