To do a J, or not to do a J

[Abideist]

I'm at this point where it seems like every time I spark up, I get very thinkative. I stop enjoying the present surroundings, and the experience and wind up very contemplative and inward focused.

It's not paranoia, but a morose almost shameful self loathing where I review my current path in life and breakdown all the mistakes that got me where I am. Every time I try and distract myself from the negative thoughts, it seems to get more intense.

So I'm deciding whether or not to give up blazing all together. I've even tried smoking only Indica, but still had the same effect. ( Personally I think sativa and indica give the same high. Never been able to tell a difference anyway. )

It wasn't always like this, and I've heard stories of people quitting for similar reasons. Has my brain finally been manipulated by chemicals, propaganda, and enviormental factors to where I'm tuned out?

The strangest part is I don't really care one way or the other, but this way I don't have to worry about drug tests i guess. 

I think the Dude, would probably understand. He wouldn't mind.

[cakebelly]

Well, Dude - I can, of course, only speak from experience: I think I had my first J when I was around 16 - I didn't come up for fresh-air 'til my early twenties. We all get those vibes from time to time - your inner-dude is telling you to lay off for awhile. I used to view, in those far off days, herb as purely recreational which of course, it ain't. Oh yeah, we can surf the THC wave with joy, bliss - what have you - and that's cool, that's cool - but in our high spirits we tend to forget that herb is used for gentle introspection, which requires fresh input from the big bad - you know,  world. We miss a lot of shit when we are shit-faced, important self-development stuff - we can't really move forward when we medicate ourselves into a stupor (which I was only too guilty of). Shit, not managing to say what I want today - you of course, know all that stuff. I guess what I am getting at is that hedonism is all well and good; but our minds will rebel, after awhile, and mirror all our inner discontent back at us when we spark up. Herb, just like any other drug can be abused - it probably ain't a popular viewpoint but it isn't supposed to be used everyday. When the vibe is negative it just means it is time to find yourself again - it's time to get lost in something practical. It can be a cold step to take - but learning something new or revving up on a creative project can be just as joyful as a thc high (well, nearly). When you are more content with your lot (that is to say you feel you have taken care of business) then the positive high will come back. Don't get me wrong, in my view herb is a celebratory drug - but it works best when your inner-dude feels there is something to celebrate or reflect, with joy, upon.

Also, and this again is just my opinion, alcohol just fucks up the herb high; it is a depressant  - don't mix your highs. Rastafarians sip red wine with their herb - but they don't get drunk. All this caucasian, oat soda and J stuff is all well and good (from time to time) but it does not serve the herb or ourselves well.

Anyway, Dude - sorry, this probably doesn't help - my perspective may just be an age thing and the fact that I am a Dad. When the kids are away with grandparents. maybe we will get out the pipe again ('cept we have nothing to put in it  ). My spouse had a near-death motor-bike accident some years ago and her joints and muscles are fucked; she's suffering at the moment and herb is the only thing that helps - roll on spring break (kids will be staying with their grand parents).

Here's a vibe about getting lost in your work (Sufi-like ): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR67nIhLaBg

[BikerDude]

Well this is a big question.
I quit sparking up the ganja for a very long time.
Now I admit to enjoying the occasional buzz. Mostly at music fests.
I think much has to do with what you bring with you. If you are having some heaviness right now then it might be good to deal with it and get yer footing for a while till you can kick back with ease.

I have found that indica and pure sativa give me a different buzz.
I've had some sativas that absolutely keep me from sleeping and make me just full of energy to things like playing and recording music and even just watching TV.
Most indica's do just stone me out. But I've also found some strains that don't have a big difference. Probably
cause they are all crossed up. Few are very pure.

[Quaker Dude]

Dude, reading your experience is almost like looking at an entry from my own journal two or so years ago.  I think almost ALL of us have been where you are at this point.

Cakebelly is absolutely right-on.  Sometimes, one can fall into the trap of smoking up just for the sake of the high (or out of boredom) instead of using it as an enhancement for day-to-day activities.  I'm not saying this is what *you're* doing of course, but this is something I myself have done and it always ends in burnout and, as you said, self-loathing/bad feelings in general.

I'd suggest you take a break from smoking for a while, have some personal time to process and filter any negative energies, fears, or day-to-day BS that one can't really deal with properly in an altered state, then you'll find, next time you smoke up in a *happy*, *contented* mood, that all the abundantly warm, positive feelings the herb can bring are back at your grasp.

[Abideist]

Cake- Yea i see that as good advice. I need to handle my shit and get to a point where i don't have to focus on my problems. I still don't know how that will help with looking back on things, but I suppose I'll accept my plot in life eventually ( as soon as I figure out where that is ), I don't really have a focus or goal. Maybe it's time for some ambition.

It seems undudely to give a damn about it all, when I'm really passive and just let it be about so many things and confront issues when they happen. But all this time i'm not really paying attention to the direction I'm going, and I keep hitting walls. When i could have a plan of action to avoid them...? I think i'm making sense.

Basically i think i'm going to try and do something instead of just being something. Which really isn't the dude in me at all. I'm pretty confused about it.

I see that their are bigger fish to fry and larger problems than my own, so i usually don't worry about my own shit.

Why I only think about it so intensely when I'm high, i have no clue. But it's almost like it's telling me to pull my head out of my ass, because when I'm sober I really don't feel pressured to do anything.

I dunno. that little green plant be a strange one.


Biker- if i could figure out how to leave my baggage at the door and just shut off from it, i would do so. It's just i haven't solved that riddle. That's what seperates a lot of long term smokers i think, being able to just let go and have a good time instead of doin what i'm doin now.

Quaker- thanks, deffinately taking a break for awhile. Don't know if I'll be back, but as of today i'm having someone else take the last 3 grams of my medical stuff away. And I'll be focusing that aspect into something more creative or constructive.

[cakebelly]

"Yea i see that as good advice. I need to handle my shit and get to a point where i don't have to focus on my problems. I still don't know how that will help with looking back on things, but I suppose I'll accept my plot in life eventually ( as soon as I figure out where that is ), I don't really have a focus or goal. Maybe it's time for some ambition.

It seems undudely to give a damn about it all, when I'm really passive and just let it be about so many things and confront issues when they happen. But all this time i'm not really paying attention to the direction I'm going, and I keep hitting walls. When i could have a plan of action to avoid them...? I think i'm making sense.

Basically i think i'm going to try and do something instead of just being something. Which really isn't the dude in me at all. I'm pretty confused about it.

I see that their are bigger fish to fry and larger problems than my own, so i usually don't worry about my own shit.

Why I only think about it so intensely when I'm high, i have no clue. But it's almost like it's telling me to pull my head out of my ass, because when I'm sober I really don't feel pressured to do anything."


It ain't undudely to give a shit - and it certainly ain't uncool to have ambition. Even worldly ambition (it's how one goes about fulfilling that ambition that counts). Personal evolution nearly always comes with a hearty serving of pain (spiritual/physical) - you will be  reborn many times over before you get to my age, Dude. You'll be carrying a few scars, too - all of which will have taught you something about being you. It's a process of becoming. Same thing happened to the Dude (if we wanna use the movie as an example) - he hadn't perfected the art of abiding, either. He had to go through a ton of shit before he delivered the line "the Dude abides", did he not? I think before we can hope to approach the near-mythical state of 'abiding at one with the universe' you have to learn how to abide with yourself (not that I can lay claim to that state). Lotta ins, lotta outs on this narrow lane, Dude - you'll be waylaid by nihilists and paraquats at every turn (bummer) but those fucks   will have a lot to teach you, too - sometimes a lot more than a friend can teach you.

     Self-disgust
     Gnaws at the root of being, and doth hang
     A heavy sickness on the beams of day,
     Making the atmosphere, which should exalt
     Our contemplations, press us down to earth,
     As though our breath had made it thick with plague.
     Cursed! accursed be the freaks of Nature,
     That mar us from ourselves, and make our acts
     The scorn and loathing of our afterthoughts?
     The finger mark of Conscience, who, most treacherous,
     Wakes to accuse, but slumber?d o?er the sin.
                  (Christopher Marlowe)

[Abideist]

Profound words.

I shall reflect.

[Maltshake]

Woah man, how you should or shouldn't feel is just like, an opinion dude. just relax and let whatever comes come.

[cckeiser]

Woah man, how you should or shouldn't feel is just like, an opinion dude. just relax and let whatever comes come.

Welcome dude.
Smoke em if you got em!

[Maltshake]

hey thanks bro.

[Abideist]

Woah man, how you should or shouldn't feel is just like, an opinion dude. just relax and let whatever comes come.

Maltshake, well, how I feel is more than just an opinion. I think that if one person is upset and carrying negative energy it will transfer and DOES effect others. I am concerned with my own mental state as well, but I am currently recovering. Thanks to some remberance of dudely teachings, and some teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz.

If I just accept the bad for what it is and let it continue to roll over me, I won't change anything or let myself over come the emptiness. It will return.

I have to learn something. Simply taking the duely route and avoiding the negative is impossible in this case because it's internal.  The internal struggle is different than the dudely way of deflecting the negative vibes.

But I like that you have an opinion about it all the same, and I welcome you.

By the way dudes.   Check out this video of Andreas Vollenweider. one of my favs that the old man introduced me to many moons ago.

I remembered it today because I had a slightly prophetic dream.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3lYRvpo74Y

[Maltshake]

well, buddha, an awesome dude basicly taught that this feeling of "emptiness" is usualy caused by wanting stuff. and stuff is like, made up dude. some guy tells you that they have a job or a lot of something or accomplished x,y and z is just in their head bro. it is said that what can be said to be the dude is not the true dude, 'cause like, everything is just an opinion. you're free to like, enjoy yourself mang, no path to follow, just remember that in general, people are UNDUDE and they will be all dickhead about it. or I dunno man, do what you please...

Also consider the words of bill hicks, another great dude. go to youtube and type in "It's Just a Ride"

[Abideist]

Yes, buddha, I understand.

We are all buddha.

I've studied 10 years of philosophy, but again, this has nothing to do with wanting anything. This is basically when i smoke and only when i smoke, I have a strong awareness. i feel my focus is mostly on things i need to accomplish. It has nothing to do with wanting anything material, because i naturally don't really want anything other than to seek some resolve. There is an underlying urgency, maybe it's because I secretly want other people to stop being 'dicks', and I'm tired of simply avoiding the problems around me as if they did not effect me in someway, which they do.

I feel this way when I'm sober, but to a less frantic degree, not as ugent or plaguing.

As far as bill bicks goes, (RIP, unless you subscribe to the Alex Jones theory), he's right about a lot of government, people suck type things, but I don't agree with the 'just a ride' deal.

What i'm beginning to discover through my own interpretations of sacred texts, and my own dreams. ( I have sleep paralysis, or hypnogognia you can look that up if you want) is that it's not just a temporary jump to and from each life, but a work in progress.

being stagnant, and static , on the fence...it's doing nothing. Just like atheism ( a religion in my opinion), it's so neutral and absent it breeds more problems than it accomplishes.

My inner dude, says, not to lash out at the dick head and just let the stress roll over you so you can control your emotions and be a better dude. But at the same time lately I feel it's my responsibilty to tear these paraquats asunder and eliminate the threat so future generations don't suffer.

The dreams are harder to explain. I've achieved astral projection only once, and it was when I was able to resist the negative 'beings' that seem to be attracted to distress, and just submit to myself.  It basically showed me that you have to be dudeist to get the message, but you have to be something else if you want to carry out the plan.

Maybe that's why masonic templars, and other groups i'm not a part of have warrior sects, because they know sometimes you can't let someone go over the line.

We need Walter. Walter keeps things in check.  It's finding a balance and harmony between both that seem to make the most sense to me.

I don't have all the answers, but I can't just walk down the road and not pick up the garbage I see anymore.

What can I say, I guess I feel there are bigger fish to fry, and I haven't caught them yet.

[Maltshake]

hmm, well, best I can say is, it's nice to wake people up to their delusions, but not stress if you can't, equanimity is very dudely.

[brother_erwin]

Hi fellas,
today I talked to a colleague about the pain killing effect of the weed. A friend of hers suffers from chronic pain. And she wondered whether she might try weed.

Now the thing is, my experiences with it are - well, from ages ago. So I was not of much help.
Does anybody of you dudes can give some advice for someone who would like to try it out as a pain killer? Like: Should it be a certain type of weed, how should one dose it, and so on?

Do you knwo websites that deal with the issue (not the Chinaman)?
Thankee in advance, dudes, for any help

be