Is this too harsh?

[Caesar dude]

've been looking at your posts on my fb page for some time now and I appreciate that you're having trouble sleeping....

Let's put this in perspective mate.

My partner has been "sleeping" for 6 weeks after being in a car crash.

I have spent the majority of 2011 in Hospital with her parents who are in absolute pieces.

We do not know if she will ever wake up.

I did not sleep through the night when my partner was in NICU and then around 7am when her parents arrived I would get 3-4 hours on a settee outside Burger King I would then spend the next 20 hours at or near my ladies bedside. ! I would drive two hours home every fourth day in order to get some proper rest and feed my cats...

I think I'm saying Grow up dude!

[Banjo Dude]

What, like, someone's busting on you for your posts to them? 

I don't know what the posts in question might be, or anything like that, but I'd say you might be well-advised to try to let someone's obnoxiousness slide, at least as well as you can, just for your own sake.  You know, like, try to save your strength.  We all know what you've been going through, even me, and I'm really new to this little community.  (enough so that I feel more than a little presumptive putting my two cents' worth in here)


If the other facebooker is someone with whom you interact regularly, is a friend to whatever degree, then I think what you're saying there should not be interpreted as "too harsh," no...  Just because one might not realize what one says is hurtful, of course, does not mean it is not.  Flippancy can be exactly the wrong attitude, and one I'm usually guilty of, and the intention behind one's words does not always map directly to the impression they give, particularly in a text-only environment.

So, like, no, I don't think you're exactly flying off the handle in what I read there.  You're saying what you have been dealing with, and pretty goddam calmly, at that.



I'm making a few assumptions here, though - that the first line is them to you, and the rest is you to them, and that this other person is unaware of the tribulation you have been enduring.


Of course, the really BIG assumption is that some jerk you don't even know (me) should even attempt to address this.   Please understand that I am absolutely pulling for you and your partner, and I pray she wakes soon, and is well.

Peace

[forumdude]

Hard to say, Banjo dude is right. We'd need more info.

In any event, hope your friends at home and on Facebook are largely being supportive. It's easy for people to say insensitive things on facebook though - there's a sort of impulsive aspect to posting there. maybe they didn't realize what they were writing or how it might make you feel.

But that can go for responses as well - it can be easy to take people's comments with offense and then the whole thing spirals. I myself recently got into a pointless argument with several people on facebook over nothing because of a misunderstanding.

Anyway, hope you're holding together okay man. Keep on keepin on.

[SenatorTso]

CD - I'd say nope not harsh.

As I read it, what you posted is a reply to someone who's yammering on about not sleeping well. Right?

IMHO, putting some shit in new light is not that bad of a thing.

[DigitalBuddha]

've been looking at your posts on my fb page for some time now and I appreciate that you're having trouble sleeping....

Let's put this in perspective mate.

My partner has been "sleeping" for 6 weeks after being in a car crash.

I have spent the majority of 2011 in Hospital with her parents who are in absolute pieces.

We do not know if she will ever wake up.

I did not sleep through the night when my partner was in NICU and then around 7am when her parents arrived I would get 3-4 hours on a settee outside Burger King I would then spend the next 20 hours at or near my ladies bedside. ! I would drive two hours home every fourth day in order to get some proper rest and feed my cats...

I think I'm saying Grow up dude!

Caesar dude, not to worry, whoever it is, is a fucking human paraquat. Everyone here is pulling for you, dude. Constant good vibes flowing to your lady friend and you. Can't be bothered by that shit man. The asshole is very undude and not worth your time. Fuck em'! Hang in there, dude; abide because we're abiding with you, man.

[cckeiser]

Have my Medicine Man on the case for your special lady dude.

[Caesar dude]

As I read it, what you posted is a reply to someone who's yammering on about not sleeping well. Right?

Yep exactly Senator.

Sorry dudes I just cut and pasted my response and didn't give you any context....not thinking to straight right now but am trying to get some normality back into my life..so have been browsing the boards.

Chantelle was moved today back to the N&N which as I've said is only ten minutes away. She's in her own sideroom off the neuro ward and is being well cared for. Visiting hours have been cut right down though....and I will only be able to see her from 6-8 in the evening.on work days....I might get some leeway here though....have to speak to Matron tomorrow!

It's Chantelle's 40th birthday tomorrow too so it's nice that she is nearby her family and friends...

Thanks again for all your thoughts and wishes. I'll pass them on to her.

CD

[meekon5]

Caesar we all hit times when all we can do is rant at everything whether it's their fault or not. It's just the stress finding another way of relieving all the immense fear, tension, and frustration you are feeling at the moment.

I think we're all reasonably grown up enough (physically anyway) to not take this personally.

As everyone else has said we all continue to send good vibes, and wish  well to you and yours.

[Rev. Gary (revgms)]

This all breaks my heart. I have seen this too closely, and if you are not hacking away at assholes with an ax you are doing really well. When my brother had his accident he suffered massive brain swelling, the doctors fretted about giving him a shunt, and waited too long. We had to attend ethics panels and all sorts of shit, it was absolutely grueling. This is 11 years ago, but I can still feel the pain that time brought, I was a dangerous wreck.

See we lost another brother just a few years before to a hit and run driver, at 10 years old, and the accident was witnessed by the brother who was comatose, that previous incident stole his joy, he endured massive guilt over the other brothers death, it was his idea to go for a bike ride. He also just managed to get out of the way himself. He saw what no one should ever have to see, he watched helplessly as his best friend and brother was brutaly run down by a truck. He told us about the accident, and it was terribly violent.

So then we found our selves around his bed, hoping against hope that he would wake up. He passed last year, ten years to the day after his accident. We let him go, stopped forcing life on him, but I still cry for him, and the hell he faced.

Ceaser dude, hang in there, it is tough, no one can say otherwise, and you are handling it fine, I was so on edge I could have killed. Back then I was a drunken nihilist, and between the accident and letting go, I grew, found Buddhism, and became a Dudeist just a little before I traveled out to say goodbye. I will tell you, being a Dudeist was one thing that really helped me overcome the anger and pain of that loss.

I truly hope your situation ends much better than the one I faced, remember, abiding is the truest strength, and your loved ones will need to rely on that strength you bring.

I give you my heart, my love, and if there were more I could do, it would be done.

[Quaker Dude]

Reading stories like these makes me wish I had arms big enough to embrace everybody in pain at once.  You guys are in my thoughts and prayers big-time, dudes!

[Caesar dude]

Hi Revgms.

Thank you for sharing your heart rending story. To have lost both your brothers in such a similar manner must be devastating. I truly and sincerely feel your pain.

Again thank you for your words of encouragement and your genuine sympathy for me and Chantelle's family.

Truth be told guys... I'm not doing so good really....I put on a face and am strong for her parents but I'm a total mess. I'm just dealing with life by numbers. This so fucking hard and I don't know how I'm going to get through it.

Last night I went to bed at 1 am and didn't sleep at all well, then up at 6:30 for work...then back to the hospital to see my lady and her family and her cards and balloons...she opened her good eye for the whole 5 hours we were there....now I'm back in my flat....and that's a lonely place I can tell you...her uniform is hung up in the bedroom...her hair products are in my bathroom she's just everywhere.

Thanks again to all of you dudes who are wishing her well and have posted and to any others who are thinking of her.

Once again Revgms I am so sorry to hear your story and I thank you for sharing it with us.

Namaste dudes.

CD

[Caesar dude]

Forgot to say thank you Meekon....

[Abideist]

Fuck it. Give em a little perspective. Who knows, maybe you'll be doing them a favor, while teaching them a lesson at the same time. No one has any answers, just opinions. That's mine.

[justjake]

I hope using a quote doesn't cheapen the message but "This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man." or at least it shouldn't. What could twist a man's view so far that they would go out of their way to grief someone in hard times. Fuckin' disgusting, man. Well keep in mind that's just one bad vibe while you have all your Dude broheims rooting for you and "your's" on the positive.

Fuck it. Give em a little perspective. Who knows, maybe you'll be doing them a favor, while teaching them a lesson at the same time. No one has any answers, just opinions. That's mine.

Truth. 2nd that notion.