Buddha's "In And Out Burger Adventure"

[cckeiser]

Well dudes, maybe it's time to open a Dude Burger joint in the UK?
Actually, that's not a bad idea for North America either!
They would have to be worthy fuckin' burgers though.

[DigitalBuddha]

Well dudes, maybe it's time to open a Dude Burger joint in the UK?
Actually, that's not a bad idea for North America either!
They would have to be worthy fuckin' burgers though.

Fucking eh, man, that is a righteous idea, cc dude. A DudeBurger! I bet THOSE would be good burgers, dude!

A dude like Friday night...

A few DudeBurgers, a few beers, some cash free zesty coitus, and new rug, burning one after...our troubles are over; living the life, mang!

[cckeiser]

Well dudes, maybe it's time to open a Dude Burger joint in the UK?
Actually, that's not a bad idea for North America either!
They would have to be worthy fuckin' burgers though.

Fucking eh, man, that is a righteous idea, cc dude. A DudeBurger! I bet THOSE would be good burgers, dude!

A dude like Friday night...

A few DudeBurgers, a few beers, some cash free zesty coitus, and new rug, burning one after...our troubles are over; living the life, mang!

We need a worthy fuckin' recipe for a burger dudes. You know, cut of meet, % fat, how it's cooked/ open flame, charcoal...electric iron maybe...etc? Any ideas dudes?

[DigitalBuddha]

We need a worthy fuckin' recipe for a burger dudes. You know, cut of meet, % fat, how it's cooked/ open flame, charcoal...electric iron maybe...etc? Any ideas dudes?

Hmmmm, have to meditate on that one, but will do some research cc dude. Having a dude like recipe is a very good idea.

[cckeiser]

We need a worthy fuckin' recipe for a burger dudes. You know, cut of meet, % fat, how it's cooked/ open flame, charcoal...electric iron maybe...etc? Any ideas dudes?

Hmmmm, have to meditate on that one, but will do some research cc dude. Having a dude like recipe is a very good idea.

Yeah digital dude...can't be just any cut for a Dude Burger...gotta be worthy of The Dude if you know what I mean? Take it to the next level of Abiding. Maybe 30% fat to keep it juicy no matter how incinerated? High fat... crisp char on the outside, juice dripping down your chin from the first bite! A fuckin' 5 napkin burger dude!

[cckeiser]

Then we need the Fixin's for The Dude Burger, the Walter Burger, the Donny Burger, the Maude Burger...the Jesus Burger...etc!
I'm drooling already dude!

[not_exactly_a_lightweight]

The Walter Burger would have to be no pork in the mix. The Maude Burger, lots of porkin there.

Donny died of  a heart attack, no shots fired, so would that one be low fat?, or would it be high-fat, the plane has crashed into the mountain fat burger?

[cckeiser]

The Walter Burger would have to be no pork in the mix. The Maude Burger, lots of porkin there.

Donny died of  a heart attack, no shots fired, so would that one be low fat?, or would it be high-fat, the plane has crashed into the mountain fat burger?

No, Low Fat is The Chinaman burger!
Sorry...just could not help myself!!!!

[not_exactly_a_lightweight]

I am definitely in contreement with that comment about the guys who built the railroads burger.

[DigitalBuddha]

Some other ideas.............

"The Nihilist Burger," would cost what ever you have in your pocket and the marquee would read..................


The Nihilist Burger.......................................................Ve Vant the Money, Lebowski!
The Kraut Burger........................................................Sorry, not available on the Sabbath. Shomer fucking shabas!
The Jackie Treehorn Special (AKA, The Log Jammer)...Comes with a free drink. What cha drink, dude?
The Johnson Burger (AKA, The Tube Steak)................Cut off anyway you want it.
The Compeers Special, burgers for two......................Not sold in the drive through; get outta that fucking car, man!
The Big Lebowski Burger............................................Perfect for eating on the job, Sir!
The Bum's Burger.......................................................Sorry, we lost it. (The bum's always lose)

[not_exactly_a_lightweight]

could add
The Malibu Burger, comes with a cup of coffee
The lingenberry Burger, now that sounds like a mess
The Larry Sellers Burger, topped with a special sauce you get when you fuck a stranger in the ass.
The Vagina burger.. Hey, even if you can't say it, it's shaped like a taco...

[cckeiser]

The Brother Shamus Burger...comes with hot dog on the side and an Irish Monk http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink4438.html

[Abideist]

If you want to make burgers RIGHT, and not the generic fast food bs that exists everywhere, you have to start with the ingredients. Preperation is the next most important factor, then finally atmosphere. Details like how you'll serve the meal, what you'll charge to exceed your investment, portions, etc all come later.

The best hamburger you can enjoy is high fat. All this low fat, lean meat mumbo jumbo is fascism working against you.
1. The brain requires fat to maintain the bodys cell metabolism and function correctly.
2. Fat in food isn't what is killing people, it's chemical addiction, hormone manipulation in our food, and high fructose corn products combined with sitting at a computer for 8 hours a day.
3. Fat is where most of the flavor comes from in the burger, and when you pay for a fancy steak you're paying for the meat that's been hanging out with the fat.

A burger the dude would be honored to enjoy is one that doesn't try to be something it's not. We all should adhere to the K.I.S.S method (keep it simple stupid), since occams razor has proven itself time and again.  The burger should consist of primarily nothing more than...
1. MEAT
2. CHEESE
3. BUN
(4.) Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, and any other "toppings" should be provided upon REQUEST.

The patty should be built using 70% USDA CHOICE ROUND and 30% PRIME RIB

You take you're prime meat, ground into litte meat balls, then take the choice meat and cover it over the prime. Make a patty (preferably genuine quarter pounders to half pound burgers) Anything less and it's too little to be called a burger, anything more and it will take too long to cook. Although specialty challenge burgers (The Big Lebowski)  may be on the menu for those who wish to attempt the wall of fame. I digress.

The best method for cooking a burger is...ON  A SKILLET WITH OIL!!!
But thankfully a commercial grill will do just as well. Flame to burger is a big no no. Great for a barbique, bad for your burgers flavor. You can use a propane grill and individually wrap the burgers in aluminum, but it's not cost effective. A simple flat electric grill with oil works every time.
It's best to do your burger with olive oil at home, but since you'll probably be frying fries at your burger joint, you'll want to keep it simple and stick to one brand of oil to prepare both.

CHEESE.
Wisconsin.
Sharp Cheddar.
Thick slices...Need I say more?

BUN
I prefer a kaiser bun that's been slightly toasted with a bit of the runoff from cooking the burger soaked and fried into the both sides, this way the bun won't get soggy and provides some of the flavor and fat that was lost while cooking. You pay for the meat, so this way you get a little more back. HOWEVER, a lot of people seem to like seasame seed buns because mcdonalds engineered theirs to maintain homiostasis by enriching them with silly putty.

If you want another example of a great burger place, check out 5 guys burgers. They have a good thing going.

[cckeiser]

If you want to make burgers RIGHT, and not the generic fast food bs that exists everywhere, you have to start with the ingredients. Preperation is the next most important factor, then finally atmosphere. Details like how you'll serve the meal, what you'll charge to exceed your investment, portions, etc all come later.

The best hamburger you can enjoy is high fat. All this low fat, lean meat mumbo jumbo is fascism working against you.
1. The brain requires fat to maintain the bodys cell metabolism and function correctly.
2. Fat in food isn't what is killing people, it's chemical addiction, hormone manipulation in our food, and high fructose corn products combined with sitting at a computer for 8 hours a day.
3. Fat is where most of the flavor comes from in the burger, and when you pay for a fancy steak you're paying for the meat that's been hanging out with the fat.

A burger the dude would be honored to enjoy is one that doesn't try to be something it's not. We all should adhere to the K.I.S.S method (keep it simple stupid), since occams razor has proven itself time and again.  The burger should consist of primarily nothing more than...
1. MEAT
2. CHEESE
3. BUN
(4.) Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, and any other "toppings" should be provided upon REQUEST.

The patty should be built using 70% USDA CHOICE ROUND and 30% PRIME RIB

You take you're prime meat, ground into litte meat balls, then take the choice meat and cover it over the prime. Make a patty (preferably genuine quarter pounders to half pound burgers) Anything less and it's too little to be called a burger, anything more and it will take too long to cook. Although specialty challenge burgers (The Big Lebowski)  may be on the menu for those who wish to attempt the wall of fame. I digress.

The best method for cooking a burger is...ON  A SKILLET WITH OIL!!!
But thankfully a commercial grill will do just as well. Flame to burger is a big no no. Great for a barbique, bad for your burgers flavor. You can use a propane grill and individually wrap the burgers in aluminum, but it's not cost effective. A simple flat electric grill with oil works every time.
It's best to do your burger with olive oil at home, but since you'll probably be frying fries at your burger joint, you'll want to keep it simple and stick to one brand of oil to prepare both.

CHEESE.
Wisconsin.
Sharp Cheddar.
Thick slices...Need I say more?

BUN
I prefer a kaiser bun that's been slightly toasted with a bit of the runoff from cooking the burger soaked and fried into the both sides, this way the bun won't get soggy and provides some of the flavor and fat that was lost while cooking. You pay for the meat, so this way you get a little more back. HOWEVER, a lot of people seem to like seasame seed buns because mcdonalds engineered theirs to maintain homiostasis by enriching them with silly putty.

If you want another example of a great burger place, check out 5 guys burgers. They have a good thing going.

Now we are talking BURGER dude!
They just opened a 5 guys not to far from us. Have yet to try them. I don't get out much.

[cckeiser]

How about The Woo Burger?
Don't know what is in it, but the bun is drizzled with pickle juice!