The Little Lebowski!

[cckeiser]

The Little Lebowski Script
            by
c.c.keiser and The Lennon



We see a young girl of about 15 sitting in her bedroom, she is dressed mostly in black and is wearing way too much black and purple eye liner. She is sitting at a computer typing furiously. Every few seconds she stops and we see the computer screen change rapidly flickering one page after another.
We watch this as once again we hear the voice of Sam Elliot.

               Voice Over

   Well there dudes it's been a while but I have another doozy of a story to tell you about.
   This here story I call The Little Lebowski...since it is more about the daughter of The Dude and Maude than it is about The Dude Himself. Oh The Dude plays his part for sure, as does Walter and the rest of the gang from The Big Lebowski, but the real star is his offspring.

   It's like 16 years later since the Dude and Maude got together and their offspring..a daughter...Geoff Lebowski has just turned 15. Yeah, Maude has named her daughter Geoff..."For All the obvious reasons" according to Maude. Which, unfortunately, seems to be based on an inside joke and only obvious to Maude and a few of her very close friends.

   As for Geoff,...well she didn't mind her name and never though anything of it when she was younger, but attending Private School has changed her attitude about...well...just about everything!
   She was always off scale, spoiled, opinionated and precocious; much like Maude herself, but since turning 14 she has turned Emo. Of course Maude and company thought Geoff "Indigo" and she always tested 'off the charts' so this drastic transformation to Emo Goth has them all beside themselves. Geoff has taken to hacking in a big way and is somewhat famous among the underground computer hackers.

   The Dude is still The Dude, but now has a job as caretaker of the lodgings for Marty. The Dude gets free rent for collecting and maintaining while his landlord Marty is in New York as the President of an off Broadway Theater Group. Marty is doing very well and may not return for sometime to come; if at all.
   One of the other renters is the checkout girl from Ralph's who The Dude is now dating on a steady basis.

   Walter now runs Sobchak Security which hires and trains Mall security guards. But that is just a front for Walter's real business of finding and training private black-ops agents for a International Private Military Company.
   Walter has a Red Phone with a direct connection to "The Big Dick" which he carries with him at all times; even bowling. It only has that one number on it, and Walter drops everything whenever it rings. Walter answers it with a salute and "Sir! Yes Sir!" no matter where he is when The Big Dick calls.
   Walter claims he was waterboarded once when he didn't answer when The Big Dick called on a Saturday!
   Bunny is now married to Walter after Brent and Maude's father, the other Jeffery Lebowski, took the million and ran off to Argentina together. It is rumored they have a doctor there who can fix his legs. There is another rumor he was never really crippled.

   Da Fino...our Brother Shamus...well, he now works for Walter. He stays just out of sight for the most part but is always close at hand. He runs the day to day operations for the Mall Security for Walter and transfers promising candidates for the Black-ops operations.
   
   And you never would have guessed, but Woo and Blondie are now on The Dude and Walter's bowling team. Woo now anchors the team and out rolls Jesus Quintana just about every time they meet. Jesus is trying to get Woo to join his team.
   
   Jesus Quintana got his wish and is now a School Bus driver.

   As for Little Larry Sellers...well to everyone's surprise, he became a best selling author and the head writer for a major movie and TV studio.
   
   After their run in with Walter, the nihilist Uri Kunkel, Kieffer and Franz vanished from the face of the Earth and were never heard from again.

End Voice over:

Just as The Stranger finishes this last sentence we see Geoff's computer screen go white and a 403 error pops up.
Geoff exclaims in a very pissed off tone: Shit!...Fuck!....Shit!

[cckeiser]

Scene 1

Walter still dressed in his Sobchak Security General's uniform; which looks rather suspiciously like a French Foreign Legion Officer's uniform, burst into The Dudes place screaming.

   Walter: Keep that brat of yours Out of my Computer System! I'm warning you, if she hacks past my firewall one more time there will be Consequences!
   
   The Dude: What the Fuck Walter?

   Walter: I'm not fooling around here Dude. Big Dick is pissed as hell and heads will roll!
   Tell your daughter she is messin' with the Wrong Fuckin' People here and if she doesn't knock it off she could get hurt. No no ...tell her she Will get hurt! You Do Not want to get Big Dick really pissed. Believe me, he's got connections and people just vanish like they never been born!

   The Dude: What the fuck Walter you moron. You know Geoff doesn't live here, she lives with Maude. I haven't seen or heard from either since her last birthday. Go knock down Maude's door and yell at her!

   Walter: Dude! You know I can't get within 500 feet of Maude since that incident and she slapped a restraining order on me. Hell, I can't even call her on the phone without her calling the cops! The Big Dick doesn't like the local authorities poking around our business.  Besides, Maude doesn't listen to me.
   Maybe she will listen to you Dude. Call her up and tell her Big Dick is really pissed and if Geoff doesn't stop messin' around with our computer system things could get bad; and I mean real bad. There's stuff in there that could get people killed...a whole lot of people.

   The Dude: Fuck Walter, Maude wont listen to me either, not that it would do any good talking to Geoff either. She's as stubborn as Maude. Besides, how do you know it's Geoff getting into your system? It could be anyone!

   Walter: We have our ways of tracking anyone anywhere in our system, but mostly because she left her icon all over our pages. Good thing she only got past the first firewall and didn't do any real damage, but she keeps it up and she could put everyone at risk.

   The Dude: Ok, I will call Maude and see what I can do, but I can't promise anything.
   
   Walter: You gotta make her listen Dude...people could get hurt. I could get hurt! Big Dick doesn't fool around.
   
   The Dude: I hear ya, I hear ya. I'll do what I can.
   You ready? We got to pick up Woo on the way to the alley. His car is in the shop again.

   Walter: Again!! Don't know why the fuck he keeps that foreign piece of shit. It's in the shop more than he drives it. Yeah, I got my ball in the Hummer. Fuck it Dude. Let's go bowling!?

[The Lennon]

Scene 2:     

The Dude and Walter arrive at the bowling alley and walk through the double doors. They walk along the long strip of freshly vacuumed carpet that sits behind the lanes when The Dude notices in the corner of his eye, a familiar face. The Dude puts his hand out to stop Walter and turns to the left to see Geoff throwing a gutter ball.

   Geoff: Mother****er!! (Geoff screams to the pins still standing... mocking her)

The Dude walks down the steps to the lanes with Walter not too far behind holding a pair of bowling shoes and his ball.

   The Dude: Geoff what are you doing here, where is your mother?
   
   Geoff: oh... Hello Father, I've come to enlist your help.
   
   The Dude: Wh- Help with what? What the f*** are you doing here?
   
   Geoff: I'm here to tell you that I've run away and I need a place to hide for a couple of days.
   
   Walter: Alright you little twerp, what have you done now?
   
   Geoff: Is this really going to turn into a interrogation? I came here for your help, if I wanted to be scolded then I would go back to Mother.
   
   The Dude: Alright we'll hear you out, can we add some games on your lane?
   
   Geoff: Sure, whatever you want, I'll even pay for your games because I know you're financially inept.

   Walter: NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME-

   The Dude: Walter just calm down, we don't want to make a scene here man, this isn't the place, you don't want the cops to be called again, you're already got one warning, one more slip up and you'll be kicked off the league man.
   
   Walter: *sigh*, you're right, thanks dude. Okay, you little brat, the minute we get back to the dudes place, you're going to get a talking to!
   
   Geoff: Go suck it Walter.

Walter lunges at Geoff but is grabbed by the Dude just in time.

   Walter: You're lucky your dad is here to restrain me, you'd be in those pins if I had my way.

Geoff glares at Walter and the scene ends.

[cckeiser]

Scene 3:

The scene begins with the three sitting in the chairs next to the Lanes discussing Geoff's run-away.

   Geoff: Due to my rebelliousness Mother is planning to send me off to a public school in Northern California, she thinks that it would teach me how to respect others if I knew what it felt like to be ostracized for my unique talents. To tell you the truth I hate the idea, the last place I would want to go is the capital, and I have a feeling that is where she is going to send me.
        

   The Dude: No fuckin' way! You?! Public School!? No fuckin' way. She's just trying to scare you. No fuckin' way would Maude ever seriously consider letting you attend public school. There hasn't been a Lebowski in public school since...well since the fuckin' revolution! That's on your mom's side of the family of course.
   
   Walter: Reform school's more fitting. Would serve you right you little brat. Stay the fuck out of my computer system!

   Geoff: Hey Walter you call that a computer system!? A 5 year old could hack your firewall. Better go check on your Chinaman. Looks like that fuckin' bus driver Quintana is crawling up his ass. Don't want him to soil himself all over his nice new bowling shoes! Go boy...go fetch!

Walter reaches for Geoff, but the Dude holds him back with an out stretched arm.

   Walter: You little...! Ok dude, you talk to your little monster. I'll get Woo and Blondie and see about an alley.

Walter leaves and the Dude talks to Geoff.

   The Dude: So what the fuck is this all about anyway? What did you do to get Maude so fuckin' mad?

   Geoff: Nothing really. I mean nothing bad. Just poking around on Walter's system a little. Didn't even mess with it really; just left my calling card to say "Hi" I was here is all. Their firewall is a joke. I did them a favor really. Walter should be thanking me for showing how lame is security is.
   But no, Walter and his Nazi masters had to call the authorities. Frickin' goons from Home Land Insecurity paid Mother and I a visit. They took my fucking computer!!!
   Walter's a bad boy you know. I didn't tell him, but I got past all his shitty security and poked around some of his private stuff before they shut it down. Walter's been a very naughty boy.

   The Dude: Shit Geoff! Homeland Security?! The fuckin' Feds!? You can't do that fuckin' stuff and not expect people to get pissed. It's not like it was back in the 60s. People get fuckin' nuts about security now.
   
   Geoff: Fuck it pops, you going to assist my or not? I don't need another lecture, especially from You! You were not exactly the model child either. I thought you would understand! But fuck it, if you will not assist me, I know others who will. And without all these fucking questions!

   The Dude: Just hold on one fuckin' minute. I didn't say I wouldn't help, just wanted to know the fuckin' details. You can stay at my place till I talk with your Mother and Walter and see if I can get this whole thing straighten out.
   Damn, Geoff, didn't anyone ever teach you how to bowl?

Walter, Woo and Blondie stroll back over to The Dude and Geoff.

   Walter (eyeing Geoff suspiciously): Dude, we're heading to the bar for some oat soda, coming?

   The Dude: Nah, I'll just order a drink here. I'm going to give Geoff a few bowling lessons.

Off in the background just within Walter's  eyesight Da Fino signals Walter with a slight nod of his head.
Geoff catches the signal in the reflection of the score monitor and bolts before anyone can make a move. She had been sitting so she could keep and eye on Da Fino all along and suspected something was up. She knew better than use the public exits and picked the alley next to the runway that goes back behind the pin setters when she first got there. She bolts down the runway and out the back exit with Da Fino chasing but far behind and lagging more so every second.
Geoff slams out the back exit and vanishes into the night.

[The Lennon]

Scene: 4
        
The Dude just watches as Geoff leaves through the door, knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop her. He turns around and shoots Walter a "What the fuck" sort of look.
Da Fino follows her out the door but comes back inside minutes later panting and holding the side of his stomach.

   Walter: Dude uh, I've got some uh, laundry to do, I'll see you later.
   
   The Dude: Walter I know what's going on, I'm not stupid okay?

   Walter: I know dude you're not stupid, I've just got some things I've got to sort out.
   
   The Dude: What about you spying on my daughter? What the fuck Walter? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

   Walter: No dude... look, this isn't about you anymore okay, this is much bigger than the both of us. You don't want to get wrapped up in this shit.
   
   The Dude: Walter, she's my daughter, how can I not get wrapped up?
   
   Walter: ......Good point, okay dude, you're daughter is now a threat to national security, we are going to have to find her and keep her out of trouble before she ends up in federal prison.
   
   The Dude: But she's under age.

   Walter:  I know that dude, but we are dealing with people who make the rules here, they can bend a few things if they want to.
   
   The Dude: sigh, fine, what are we going to do?
   
   Walter: We have to find her, do you know of any places that she likes to hang out?
   
   The Dude: Maud would probably know more about that than I would, you know that.
   
   Walter: Alright dude, calm down, this isn't a big deal.
   
   The Dude: This is a big deal!!

   Walter: Okay, this is a big deal but it's nothing to get stressed over.Okay dude? You're being very undude right now, just relax for a moment and take a deep breath okay dude?

The dude takes a deep breath and relax's.and changes his tone to something more subtle.

   The Dude: okay.. what are we going to do.
   
   Walter: That's the dude I know, alright here's the plan. We're going to go talk to Maud about where Geoff might go, if we can find the clues then we will find the answer.

   The Dude: Alright, but what about the games?
   
   Walter: what you think we are going to do that right now? Fuck no, We came here to bowl, and that's what we are going to do. Besides Geoff paid for the games, no use putting them to waste right?

Walter signals Da Fino to leave the alley without him and nods like he knows what he's doing.

   The Dude: Sigh, I guess you're right.
   
   Walter: Yeahh!! That's the dude I know!

Walter slaps the dude lightly on the back and picks up the ball, and the scene ends.

[cckeiser]

Scene 5:       
         
We cut to the outside of a bungalow. The view is from across the street. It's very dark out with only a half moon for light. The shades are pulled down with a soft light backlighting the shade in the window and also a shade in a diamond shaped window cut into the door on a small stoop.

We cautiously pan up and down the street as we slowly approach the front stoop of the bungalow, then more quickly till we are safely on the stoop. 99 Luftballons by Nena (the 2002 version)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRZ1RPf_d_E  is softly playing in the background.
A small hand reaches out and raps lightly three times on the screen door. It's more of a scratch than a knock. We wait for a few seconds then the hand raps again, but just slightly louder. The music stops playing right in the middle of the song.
The shade in the diamond shaped window in the door is pulled just slightly aside as the shadow of a head is backlit.
The door opens just enough to see a thin woman's foot just inside. She is wearing expensive looking Italian sandals with only one loop around the big toe and two straps wrapping up a slender ankle. The toenails are polished a forest green. The little toe is missing.

   Geoff: Neune it's me Geoff. Let me in quick.

The door opens a little wider: A thin lady of about 40 with long blond hair sticks her head out and quickly looks up and down the street as she gently grabs Geoff by one shoulder.

   Neune speaks with a heavy German accent: I heard! Make haste.

Geoff is gently but quickly pulled in. As Geoff clears the door we get just a peak of the inside. When Geoff and Neune step aside we see in the dim light what looks like none other than Knox Harrington sitting with his legs crossed on a large overstuffed chair next to an end table with a table lamp and a yellow, red and purple paisley scarf hanging over the lampshade to soften the light.
   
The door closes and the inside lights are dimmed to near out. 99 Luftballons by Nena softly starts playing from where it had left off.

Fade to black.

We fade back in at the bar in the bowling alley. Woo and Blondie are just getting up to leave. The Dude and Walter are still seated, each fondling a bottle of beer, but not really drinking.

   Walter speaks to Woo and Blondie as they leave: Ok, guys good practice. See you Wednesday and stay away from fuckin' Quintana.. He knows he can't beat us so he's just trying to mess with your head. Don't let him get to you Woo! He'll mess you up good.
   
Woo and Blondie give a 'Ah shit' wave as they exit the bar.

   Walter turns back to The Dude: Fuckin' Woo, he's just may be one of the best league bowlers I ever seen, but he's dumb as a bag of hair. And he's the smarter of the two!
   Ever watch Blondie tie his shoes?

   The Dude: Aah Walter, leave them alone. They're really nice guys. Who would have thunk it!? But they did come over and apologize and they bought that new rug and my new bowling ball. I mean, that was really nice of them.

   Walter, looking at The Dude with a puzzled look: And you never questioned that? Never wondered why...who was behind it and all?
   
   The Dude looking at Walter with a puzzled look: What ya mean? Who... behind what? Why?

   Walter: Ah... never mind...nothing Dude. Just forget it.. Just thinking out loud is all. Probably nothing at all. Yeah, nothing at all.....

   The Dude: Ok Walter, what's going on? I know you're pissed at Geoff for messing with your computers and all, but why the big fuckin' brouhaha? Fuck Walter she's only 14. What kind of damage could she do? She's just a kid!
   She said she didn't do any harm and just left a hello or something. Now you call in the fuckin' feds?!
   What kind of shit are you up to over there?
   You got to call off your fuckin' goons man. This just aint right going after a 16 year old kid for playing around. That's what kids do...remember? We did some shit in our day didn't we...hehe?

   Walter: Yeah Dude we did some shit alright, but it's not like it was back then. Things got really serious since those towel headed camel fuckers started fuckin' everything up. It's gotten Real Serious. And it's not me Dude...it's Big Dick. I could have smooth thinks over if.... well she just went too far is all, and now Big Dick is real pissed and it's out of my hands.
   Fuck Dude, you know I love the little monster as if she was my own. She's smart and sassy, and a real pain in the ass, but...well...it's out of my hands is all.
   We gotta find out what she saw. I mean there are lives at stake here. People could get hurt, real hurt. Face down in the fuckin' muck type hurt.   
   Tell her to come in Dude so we can talk to her and find out what she knows.
   Nobody's going to harm her Dude...just talk.

   The Dude: Ok Walter, I'll try and talk to her, but she's real scared and that hair brain stunt you just tried to pull didn't help any. You scared the fuckin' piss out or her. Did you see her run?! Damn, I didn't know a kid could run that fast! She sure was movin'!
   But I swear Walter if any harm comes to her....I'll....Well you know.... Don't fuckin' harm a hair on her spoiled ass head. She's the only kid I got...

   Walter: Don't worry Dude, I wont let any harm come to her.

   Walter flops a big arm around The Dude and pulls him tight: Ya know I love you Dude, and would never do anything to hurt you...we got to go talk to Maude.

[The Lennon]

Scene 6:   
        
The Dude and Walter finally decide to leave the bowling alley, the Dude pulls out a fat joint and begins smoking it in the car as they drive off to grab a bite to eat.

   Walter: Dude, you really want to light up something that big? This isn't the 70's anymore Dude, you heard about what happened to Tommy Chong.
   
   The Dude: Walter, this is California, I got a medical card now for fuck sake! Plus I heard they are planning to legalize it anyway.

   Walter: Legalize it huh?
   
   The Dude: Yeah, turns out there are apparently more stoners in the state than we thought.

   Walter: That's a startling statistic Dude, speaking of such, I'm getting contact munchies, let's grab a bite to eat.
   
   The Dude: Where do you want to go.

   Walter: In and Out Burger, I'm feeling like reminiscing about our little buddy, may he rest in peace.

   The Dude: That's a good idea.


The Dude turns a corner and they head into In and Out Burger. It's about midnight, we move up through the bushes moving toward the window to the Dude and Walter sitting face to face at a small table. The Dude has a burger, fries and a drink, and Walter the very same.

   Walter: Okay Dude, now that you are in this, what mode of action do you want to take?
   
   The Dude: Why don't you please explain it to me and then I can decide.
   
   Walter: Fine, The Big Dick is s working with the US government, that's all I can tell you. All I have to do is just play my part and report back to him periodically, I've come a long way from Nam dude.

Walter takes a big slurp of his soda and lays back.

The Dude motioning for Walter to continue with a hand gesture.

   Walter: I can't tell you anymore Dude, if I did I would have to kill you.

The Dude shakes his head and squints his eyes at Walter for a minute before dipping his fry in the dome of ketchup he made on a napkin.

   The Dude: Let's talk about something else for a while.

   Walter: Oh yes, Our good old friend Donny, how I do miss him.

   The Dude: Yeah.... He sure loved In and Out Burger, you know even though Blondie and Woo are great bowlers, I'd still take Donny any day.

   Walter: Me too Dude... Me too...

   The Dude: Well what can we do to honor him tight?

   Walter: We can go to where we dumped his ashes.

   The Dude: You know let's do that.

   Walter: Really?

   The Dude: Yeah, I think it's time that we pay our respects again.

Walter leans over and pats the Dude on the back.

   Walter: Let's go Dude.

Walter and The Dude grab their trays and dump their trash into the bin labeled "Thank You", they leave their trays on the rack above it and leave the place.

The scene ends.

[cckeiser]

Scene 7:
        
All we see is a swirling light gray fog lit by headlights as we enter the scene.
Creedence - Bad Moon Rising playing in the background.
The fog begins to part and thin. A half moon is shining over the ocean and moonbeams light up the pinnacle of rock where Walter and The Dude distributed Donny's ashes.
They are headed up the path now but stop after a few steps to pass the joint.
Bad Moon ends. After a short pause Dale Hawkins - Susie Q starts playing from the car's CD player. The music begins to fade as they continue up the path.

Walter takes a big hit and passes the joint back to The Dude. Holding his breath Walter tries to talk as they continue the climb to the pinnacle.

   Walter: Man I can't believe it's been almost 17 years already. Just doesn't seem right he's gone.

   The Dude taking another toke: Fuckin-egg right it's not right.

The Dude passes the roach over to Walter but Walter waves him off.
   Walter: No...no thanks Dude...I'm good. Just want to stand here and think awhile...remember and all. A moment of silence and all. You know..for Donny.

   The Dude (lost in a little bit of a haze both physically and mentally): Fuckin'-egg yeah...for Donny.

   They both stand stoned in the moonlight staring off into space with glazed eyes.
   A voice speaks softly from behind them: So what's your point Walter?
   
   The Dude and Walter just stand there not moving as if they had not heard the once familiar voice.
   The voice speaks a little louder this time: So what's your point Walter?
   
   Walter still in a mental haze replies automatically without turning: Shut the fuck up Donny.

It takes a few seconds to register through the grass induced haze but Walter and The Dude both pop their eyes open wide at the same time. Walter turns his head slowly and looks at the Dude. The Dude turns slowly and looks at Walter. 
Both mumble "Donny?" at the same time as they turn around to see the apparition of Donny still in his bowling shirt standing just a few feet behind them.
   
   The apparition of Donny with his wide smile speaks again as he half waves: Hi guys.

   Walter: Donny? You know you're dead don't you? What the fuck Donny? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Bowling Heaven or something?
   
   The Dude waving his hand in front of him at the apparition: Fuck!
   
   Walter: What the fuck was in that joint Dude? We're hallucinating here! There any psychedelics in there? You know I can't do fuckin' psychedelics man. They make me all nuts and all.
   
   The Dude: It's not a fuckin' hallucination Walter. I'm seein' Donny too. We both can't be hallucinating the same fuckin' thing...can we??

   Walter repeats: Is that you Donny? You know you're dead don't you?

   The apparition of Donny replies: Yeah Walter, I know I'm dead. And thanks for spreading my ashes here...one of my favorite places. Sure is pretty here in the moonlight and all. But I came to warn you. You're in trouble Walter and you don't know it... Geoff is in trouble too. There are things going on behind you back that you better look into fast. Geoff knows. Listen to Geoff Walter then you get her out of town...fast.

   Walter: Fuck Donny, if you came back to say so...say, I'm not going to get a visit by three ghosts or anything am I? I mean this is too way out enough. Don't think I could take three more ghosts.
   
   The apparition of Donny replies: No Walter it doesn't work that way...well at least I don't think it does?
   But anyway's find Geoff and get her out of town. Ok guys...I gotta go...

And with that Donny turns into a puff of smoke and drifts between Walter and The Dude and over the edge of the Cliff.
The Dude and Walter still glued to the spot they are standing follow with their eyes. As they watch the puff of smoke that was the apparition of Donny drift away, it turns into Donny on his surfboard riding the waves just before he vanishes into the moonlight on the Pacific.

   The Dude: Fuck!
   Walter: Fuck!
   The Dude: Fuck!

   Walter: Fuck Dude that was some shit we smoked! Let's get the fuck out of here and find Geoff.
   Fuck man...shit!! Dude?! Come on Dude...I'll drive.
   
   The Dude: Fuck!

Walter and The Dude stumble back down the path to the car. The fog is beginning to settle back in as we fade out. Creedence Clearwater Revival's- Long As I Can See The Light is playing softly on the car stereo.

Fade out.

[The Lennon]

Scene 8:
        
They begin driving back to town.

   Walter: Sigh, Dude, I don't think I can handle this kind of stress anymore.
   
   The Dude: Yeah... man.. well where are we going to find Geoff?
   
   Walter: A better question would be, where are we going to find Maude. She hasn't been seen for a week and that worries me.
   
   The Dude: Where could she be?

   Walter: I don't know Dude, but I still have a feeling that Geoff is up to something.
         
        Suddenly Donny's reflection appears in front of Walter on the wind shield and Walter slams on the breaks. The Hummer spins around and is knocks into a couple of garbage cans, the Camera pans out from behind the Garbage cans as Walter and The Dude step out.
They are in front of a house in the middle of nowhere near the beach, and you see someone peering through the blinds.

The Dude: Sigh.


Walter gets out of the Hummer and walks up to The Dude. They are in front of a Bungalow near the beach, and you see someone peering through the blinds.

   Walter: Dude, I'm serious, what did you put in that joint, don't be fucking around with me while I'm driving.
   
   The Dude: I didn't put anything in there besides a bit of green, nothing else!! You said you liked Sativa man!

Suddenly the door opens, and there stands Neune signaling Walter and The Dude to come in. The Dude and Walter look at each other and start walking towards the door.

   Neune: Come in, Schnell!!

Both of them walk in the door, and there sits Geoff on a rocking chair next to an open fire, There is Marilyn Manson playing "This is the new shit" in the background from a CD Boombox on the left.

   Geoff: I think it's time I explain things a little better, but first how did you two find me?
   
   The Dude: You wouldn't believe us if we told you.

Walter sits down and massages his forehead, looking very stressed out.
   
   Neune: Vie are here to tell you zat zere ist a misundahstanding, vie are not your enemies!
   
   The Dude: Okay, that's a good explanation, tell us more.... And can we maybe change the song? It's kind of freaking me out.
   
   Geoff: It helps me to relax, Maralyn Manson is such a visionary for the music industry.

   The Dude: But he burns bibles regularly at his concerts doesn't he?
   
   Geoff: That's him expressing his hatred for organized religion, you don't have to agree with his politics to enjoy his music. I like him a lot.
   
   The Dude: Yeah bu-
   Neune: Silence!! Vee vill now explain ourselves!
   
   Walter: I'm all ears.

Walter looks at Neune from head to toe and notices the missing pinky. Neune see's this and hides her toeless foot behind the other.

   Walter: Wait a minute, I know who you are!
   
   Neune: No you Don't!
   
   Walter: Yes I do, it's your guys who caused our buddy to have a heart attack, fucking nihilists!
   
   Geoff: No Walter wait!!
   
   The Dude: Let them explain themselves!
   
   Geoff: Just relax, there is no need to cause a scene here

Knox Harrington comes out from in the shadows like a ninja and the light goes out.

The scene ends, when the light comes back on The Dude and Walter are tied to a couple of chairs with their mouths gagged so they can't say anything.

[cckeiser]

Scene 9:

It's 2 AM and when the light comes back on. Not only are The Dude and Walter tied to chairs and gagged, but they are in a different room...in fact, they are no longer even in the house!
After tying and gagging them, Neune and Knox, with  some difficulty and a refrigerator dolly, drag The Dude and Walter out the back door and across a dune into what looks like a garden shed that is all but invisible from the bungalow.
The furnishings in the new shed are very sparse, consisting of little more than a table, chair and a notebook computer next to a small latticed window.
The light was on for but a second when Neune urgently whispers to Geoff.

   Neune: Nein! Nein! No Lights!!


Geoff quickly flips the light switch off again.
As their eyes become accustomed to the dim lighting The Dude and Walter could see a set of black Hummers pull quickly up to the bungalow they were just removed from. About a half dozen uniformed men storm through the front and back door of the bungalow. As the light in the bungalow across the way comes on Walter recognizes the men are wearing his Sobchak Security uniforms.

   Walter: MPHFF HMPH!

   Neune: Shhh! Vatch!

As they watched the leader of the Sobchak Security raiders speaks into a cell phone as he inspects another cell phone he just picked up off the floor.
Walter recognizes the retrieved phone as his 'Red' phone and direct link to The Big Dick.

   Walter: Mph mhp phmm!

   Neune with a threatening tone: Shhh! Dat's your phone Valter. It is bugged. Big Dick has a GPS and a microphone in your phone that never shuts off. He always knows where you are and what you are saying...always!

The Dude is his usual calm self and just sits there watching, but wishing he had a beverage. He is coming down from his high and now being gagged is making him thirsty. He tries looking around to see if there's a bar or liquor cabinet in the room, but it's too dark to make out any details more than a few feet into the room. The Dude's attention comes back into focus when Geoff moves to his side and touches his hand.

As they watch, more of the security agents come into the room shaking their heads no. The lead agent speaks into his cell again nods to his men and they exit the bungalow, get back into their Hummers and drive off.

They wait in the dark for a few minutes as Neune and Knox watch to make sure Big Dick's goon squad has left the area. Walter and The Dude are still tied and gagged as the door to the shed opens very slowly just enough for Knox to slither through. Neune quietly closes the door behind Knox and he vanishes into the darkness outside.

   Neune once again warns: Shhh!

They wait. It seems like an hour before Knox returns and slithers back in the door.

   Knox in a hushed voice. The bungalow is bugged. It's not safe here anymore. We need to move to Santa Monica again. At least until we can find another secure location here.
   Did we get the tap?

Neune walks over to the table with the notebook computer:

   Neune: I vas just going to jeck.

Knox and Neune each share an ear bud from a headset as Neune works a few key on the computer. Geoff watches the notebook between them. Know and Neune look at each other with a puzzled look.

   Geoff looks at the notebook again and speaks: Volume??

   Neune makes and adjustment: Da sure!

Knox and Neune listen for a little nod at each other remove their ear buds and take the notebook over to where Walter and the Dude sit still bound and gagged.

   Neune: You listen, than ve untie you...ya?

   Walter, nodding in the affirmative; mphmp!
   The Dude, also nodding in the affirmative: mphmp!

Neune digs into a pocket in her faded Cargo pants. She pulls out a flash drive and holding it up so Walter and The Dude can see says:

   Neune: Because of the files Geoff copied on here we were able to tap into the same code Big Dick uses to tap your cell phone. So we can hear everything he hears and see where your phone is at all times. Because of this we know you are not a criminal Walter, just another moron being used by Big Dick.
   We left your phone for them to find. Here is what they said. Listen!

Neune hits a few keys and turns up the volume on the notebook's tiny speakers.
The sound is tinny but clear.
At first all we can hear is Maralyn Manson singing Sweet Dreams in the distance coming from the notebook.
After a few seconds we hear the goons rush into the door and the sounds of a half dozen pair of boots entering the bungalows doors. A few seconds later we can hear a rustling sound and the unmistakable sound of a cell phone flipping open and closed.

   We then hear a husky male voice speak: "Yeah" Then a another male voice that sound small and very far away like it's coming from a cell phone: Well?

   The Husky voice: Walter's Hummer is still outside, but no one's here. The place is empty. But we found Walter's red phone on the floor. I think the moron may be on to us. It looks like they had help. We better start cleaning out.
   The small voice on the cell phone: Ok, you know what to do. Keep your ears open and get back here.

   The husky voice: Lets move!

We hear the sound of half a dozen boots across a wooden floor followed by the closing of a door. Then we hear the sound of air rushing past a micro phone then the sound of car doors slamming shut.
   The husky voice: Fuckin' Shit head Walter fucks up everything. Couldn't do one simple job and hold onto a fuckin' child for 20 minutes! That fuckin' nosy brat just fucked up the whole operation.
   Fuckin' Walter! Told the boss he was a liability. Should have fried his fuckin' ass a month ago...shit brains!

   Another male voice breaks in: Shhh! I think I just heard something from the bug we left!

There is only the sound of road noise from the Hummers tires on the road for a about 30 seconds
   The other voice speaks again. Nah, I guess it's nothing...maybe the wind or a cat or something? They're gone.

   After that we hear the husky voice curse mildly: Shit!

The husky voiced goon realizes he still has Walter's bugged phone and the Big Dick can hear everything he is saying. The phone goes dead.

Knox speaks as he and Neune untie Walter and The Dude:

   Knox: Now 'We' follow the GPS in your phone and maybe we find where the Big Dick is hiding! But first we need your cooperation Walter. We need you to give us access to your computer system so we can copy Big Dick's hidden files. These are the files of all his illegal activities we will use to arrest him and extradite him to the International Court of Justice in the  Hague to stand trial for his crimes.
   Geoff has given us the codes to get past the firewall but Big Dick has blocked access from outside. We need to get into the network from the inside, we need access to your company computer Walter.
   Will you take us there?

[The Lennon]

Scene 10:
        
   Walter: Uhhh Fuck me... alright dude, what do you think?
   
   The Dude: They hold a pretty decent argument man, I mean we heard it with our own ears.
   
   Walter: Alright, we'll do it.
   
   Neune: Gut!

The four of them slink around the bungalow, we watch from above like 3rd person video game. They get to the Hummer but the tires have been slashed.

   Walter: Now what do we do?
   
   Knox: That is no problem, look!

There is another car near the alleyway with a tarp over it. They remove the tarp revealing that it's a dark green Dodge Viper with a large metal plate shield covering the grill and bumper.

The Dudes eyes become wide and he puts his hands on his head.  Walter snorts a little, grabs the keys from Knox and gets in without another thought. The Dude still dazed by the brilliant piece of machinery finally snaps out of it and gets into the passengers side.  The rest of them get into the back, there is plenty of room, and a mini bar built in to the back of the chair The Dude's sitting in.

   Knox: What'll you have Dude?
   
   The Dude turns around and his eyes get even wider.
   
   The Dude: White Russian please.

Knox pours the drink, hands it to The Dude, and Walter drives off rather quickly. The sudden jolt of the car going backward caused the Russian to spill a little on the dudes shirt.

   The Dude: Hey man, there's a beverage here! This isn't a Hummer Walter this is a classy car, treat it with some respect!
   
   Walter: You're right dude I'm sorry, I didn't take into account the speed difference.
   
   Walter drives out of the rest of the alley and starts speeding up.

It's about 3:43 in the morning, and the group makes it to the mall.

   The Dude: Geoff you stay here, there's no telling what will happen in there.
   
   Geoff: Aww Please? I can run faster than all of you!

   Walter: You're not going to get us into any more trouble brat, you got that?

Geoff moves over between Walter and the dude and playfully punches Walter in the gut, hard enough to make Walter fume a bit.

   Walter: Okay that's it you little turd!

Walter moves between the two front chairs and lungs toward Geoff, who moves to the back of her middle seat, and kicks Walter square in the face.
The Dude grabs Walter and attempts to hold him back. Walter adjusts a little more and accidentally presses his foot on the car horn. It was a quick Honk but it was enough to make everyone in the car freeze at the same time. Walter pulls back and gets out of the car.

   Walter: Come on Dude, it's just you and me, we're going.
   
   Knox: But you may need back up!
   
   Walter: Backup Schmack up, I went up against 10 men in Vietnam and I held my own.

   The Dude: Walter maybe this isn't such a good idea? I mean Nam was a long time ago, and well, look at us?
   
   Walter: Don't fucking start this with me dude, it's you and me going in! Got that Creampuff?
   Walter shoots Geoff an angry glare.
   
   Neune: You go! Vie Stay! Take this!
   
   Neune hands walter a flash drive.

   Neune: Zis vill automatically pull in the data vie need! Just insert it!
   
   Geoff: That's what she said.
   
   Walter shoots Geoff another fast glare.
   
   Walter: This is no laughing matter!

Geoff sticks her tongue out at Walter.
   
Walters face turns  bright red, the Dude notices this and walks over to Walter.

   The Dude: It's not worth it man, calm down, we have a mission dude.

Walter nods and begins walking to the door, The Dude throws up his hands in defeat, shakes his head, and sighs a semi loud uhghh.

Walter pulls out a wad of keys, and after a few minutes finds the door key and opens it up.
It's pitch black inside the mall, Walter grabs The Dudes hand.

   Walter: I'm not coming onto you dude, we have to stick together.

The Dude is still holding his White Russian in his hand and sips it as they slowly creep up to the security office, they pass by many stores.

   The Dude: *whispering* feels kind of creepy at night man.

   Walter: *Wispering* With the weirdo's that come in here on a daily basis, It's slightly less creepy Dude, have you ever heard of the term "Mall Goths?"

   The Dude: *Whispering* No, what's that?

   Walter: They're usually teenager who dress in dark clothing and makeup and just come in to sit around, they rarely buy anything!
   
   The Dude: huh...



Suddenly we hear footsteps, the light turns on, and the group is surrounded by Sobchak Security.

   Walter: Oh hey guys, what's up?

   Security guard: You have become a liability to the Big Dick, Walter. I'm afraid we can't let you into the computer system.

The lights turn out again, the scene ends.

The next scene, the lights turn back on, both of them are tied up and gagged, a Sobchak security guard walks near them.

   Security Guard: You had to go around and pry, you couldn't have just kept your nose out of it. Well it's too late now, I believe it's time that you are erased.

The Dude mumbles something, the security guard pulls out the gag.

   The Dude: We're going to get erased? What is this, Tron?

The light begins to flicker it goes out, turns on and flickers again. We hear a screeching sound in the distance, an engine coming closer... The security guards begin to look around, closer... and still closer.... An somewhat empty wall begins to vibrate BAM The Dodge Viper rams through the wall.

Knox is Driving, Geoff jumps out of the side of the car with a tazer and quickly zaps the already slightly stunned security guards, Neune jumps out and unties Walter and The Dude and un-gags them.

   The Dude: Twice in one night, what the fuck!
   
   Walter: I don't know dude, but we gotta get out of here!

Geoff runs to Walter sticks her hand down his pocket and takes the flash drive to the computer and sticks it in.

Neune pulls on the arms of Walter and The Dude.
Out of the corner of his eye The Dude sees the White Russian on the table and reaches out his arm.
Everything goes slow motion, The Dude barely misses grabbing the glass, "NoooOOoo!!"

   Geoff: Got it!

Knox signals with his hand from the drivers seat waving back, and Geoff jumps into the passengers seat of the car with Neune, Walter, and The Dude in the back seat.

A bunch of Hummers are seen driving up to the mall as the group speeds off onto the freeway.

[cckeiser]

Scene 11:

        
   Walter: Gee guys I didn't know about all the illegal activity. The Big Dick was setting me up to take the fall if anything went wrong. All I knew about was the transport of potential black-ops agents to Big Dick's  private army. I though Big Dick was with the US government! I mean he has some very deep connection and owns more than a few politicians. I didn't know about all the rest. Honest guys...I didn’t.

   Geoff: Well I did! I just didn't know till now that you are not actually a bad guy Walter, just a moron who the Big Dick is using.
   Walter: All I was worried about was that you may have gone past the Mall Security computer file with all the identities of his Sobchak Security Mall cops and hacked into the files containing all the identities of his black-ops agents. The black-ops agents are mostly operating overseas and if their identities are leaked they could be in a world or hurt; face down in the muck kind of hurt. That's all I was worried about. You have to believe me, I didn’t know Big Dick had other super-secret files on our computer.


We see The Dude, Walter, and Geoff and company racing at high speed down the Freeway. They are being cased by half a dozen of Big Dick's black Hummers with dark windows so we cannot see who is driving them.

The Dude is on a cell phone calling 911.

   The dispatcher answers and asks "What is your emergency?".

   The Dude in a very excited voice replies. Help! We are being cashed by Big Dick's goons and they are trying to kill us man!

   Walter and Geoff both shout at the same time: "Tell them where we are! Tell them where we are!"
   The Dude: We are on the Santa Monica Freeway heading West to Santa Monica! We just passed the San Diego exit! Send a Swat Team...fuck, send everyone you got! The Big Dick is trying to fuckin' kill us man!!

   The dispatcher replies chuckling: You say a big dick is chasing you down the Santa Monica freeway sir? Does the dick have balls sir?

   The Dude: What the fuck ya mean does he have balls? It's not A big dick, it's The Big Dick!! I'm not kidding man, he's pissed off and is trying to kills us man. Send fuckin' help man!

   The dispatcher: Aah, you say the big dick is pissing now? Have you had anything to drink sir, are you on drugs sir?

   The Dude: Well yeah,...a white Russian and a little weed, but what the fuck does that have to do with anything?! Just send the militia man and FAST!!

   The dispatcher: Sir you are having a bad trip and you are hallucinating sir. There is no big dick chasing you and if anyone is pissing on you it is probably yourself. Please calm down and seek immediate medical attention. You have overdosed.  Should I call an ambulance for you sir?  What is your location sir?

   The Dude: I just told ya I'm on the fuckin' Santa... Oh Fuck it! You're fuckin' useless!!
The Dude closes his cell phone.
   
   Geoff reaching out for the cell phone: Fuckin-egg pops, let me try!

   Walter: Yeah Dude let Geoff try!

But just then the phone rings as a big white stretch limo pulls up along side and the driver's side window opens to show Woo driving. Walter is the first to see Woo.

   Walter: Hey Dude! It's Woo! What the fuck it's Woo!!

   The Dude answers the phone: The Dude here.

While The Dude is answering the phone one of the back passenger side windows on the white limo slowly lowers to reveal Jackie Treehorn sitting calmly in the back seat. Jackie looks out the window at The Dude as he talks into his cell phone:

   Jackie: Greetings Dude we meet again. I'm here to help, just follow us to my compound. You and Geoff will be safe there. Trust me Dude, I am only trying to help.

   The Dude: Well Jackie fancy meeting you here. Nice of you to try and help, but why should we trust you Jackie? I'm mean after... well you know?

   Jackie Treehorn: Yes Dude I quite understand, you may be a little confused right now. You want it to be one way, but it's not, it's the other way.
   
   The Dude: Yeah, Jackie, there's been a lot of that "other way" going around lately. So what's in it for you Jackie?

   Jackie Treehorn: Well Dude lets just say a few of my business interest and your Mr. Dick's business interest have clashed recently. We are rivals in several areas that are important to my business. If I help you to take Mr. Dick down I stand to gain handsomely from his absence. No offence Dude, and I do like you Dude, but I assure you my motives are purely of self interest.
   
   The Dude: No offence taken Jackie. Lead the way. Knox, follow that limo!

With the smell of jet fuel in the air and tires screeching the limo cuts off a side exit and makes a screeching sharp right with the hopped up Dodge Viper close behind! Within seconds Big Dick's Hummers follow!

There's a high speed chase down side streets then more country type roads and finally a long tree line driveway that empties into Jackie Treehorn's gated compound hidden somewhere in the Tuna Canyon Park. The gates are open but begin  to close as Jackie's limo and the Dodge Viper pass through. But they do not completely close when the first of Big Dick's Hummers comes crashing through with four more close behind.

Jackie's limo makes a sharp left and heads for Jackie's fortified lodgings with the Dodge Viper close behind, but Big Dick's goons open fire with automatics hitting the Viper and taking out the right front tire. Knox does a great job of keeping the Viper  under control but another round of fire takes out both rear tires and the Viper slowly flips over on its side.
While all this is happening four black military helicopters gun ships come zipping in from the other direction over the compound. Walter and crew are too busy to see them at first, but as The Dude and Geoff then Walter clime out the rear of the Viper they look up to see the helicopters just open fire.

   Walter: Fuck Dude we're dead. Sorry Dude, Geoff; sorry I got you into this mess. Fuckin' helicopters man. Didn't even know we had fuckin' helicopters!

Just as Walter is saying this a hail of bullets is pouring from all four helicopter gun ships but not at The Dude, Geoff and Walter. The guns are shooting at Big Dick's Hummers! A small missile is fired and explodes in front of the lead Hummer which turns sharply and comes to a full stop.

Everything stops! Then in slow motion...through the whiffs of smoke from the exploded missel drifting away, off in the distance and coming up the tree lined driveway we hear and see sirens and a dozen red white and blue flashing lights. The goons in the Hummers attempt flee into the woods, but are quickly caught...the Big Dick is not among them.

One of the helicopter gun ships lands just a short distance from the tipped over Viper. On the side of the helicopter is a triangle with the all seeing eye inside.
A lone figure dressed in military garb steps out and walks over to The Dude and Geoff.
It's a woman, she lifts her visor and removes her helmet tossing it to the ground. It's Maude!!
She steps over to Geoff and picks her up and holds her tightly in her arms and speaks to The Dude and Walter.

   Maude: Nobody Fucks with My Daughter!

Fade out.

[The Lennon]

Scene 12:


We fade in to see The Dude in a bath tub, bubbles are everywhere, the bathtub is an expensive design that is long enough to stretch out his legs. The Dude takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, he eases into the water with a big grin on his face.
We shift to the left through the door to see Maude and Knox sitting next to each other with Geoff sitting on Maude's lap, holding her close with her arms clasped gently around her torso.

   Maude: I'm glad you were able to keep my daughter safe in my absence, I would never have guessed that you of all people would be rescuing my daughter.

We turn around to see Walter sitting on the sofa across from them.

   Walter: Ahem, no thanks needed mam, just serving my country.
   
   Knox: *Giggles* we had such a fun adventure Maudey!
   
   Maude: Good, I look forward to hearing about what happened.

Jackie Treehorn comes walking in and sits on a tan colored chair to the right between Maude and Walter. Jackie has a Glass with some sort of beverage in his hand, with 4 ice cubes in it and a little red straw.

   Jackie: I have my agents surrounding the area, we are totally safe.

Everyone takes a big sigh of relief.

   Walter: so has anyone seen the dude?

   Maude: Mr. Lebowski is in the bathtub, he requested some relaxation after your run in with the Big Dicks men.
   
   Walter: That's my dude, he's been through a lot.
   
   Geoff: Well I believe its time for us to start the next phase of our plan.
   
   Jackie: We leave all of our resources up to you.

Geoff slides out of Maude's grip and runs to the other room, she comes back with a black laptop, she sets it on the table and begins typing.

   Geoff: From the data we uncovered in the security room computer we found out where the Big Dicks main center of operations are. They aren't in the US that's for sure........ *typing*..... It's going to take me some time to decode the location, unfortunately when we downloaded the information we also got a few of the fire walls too, so I'm going to have to get past those before we can get any more of the information.

   Maude: Don't over work yourself dear.

Geoff gives Maude an "I know what I'm doing" sort of look.

   Maude: Alright dear, you know what is best, I taught you well.

The Dude  comes out of the bathroom with an expensive looking robe on.

   Dude: "Hey Jackie, what kind of material is this?
The Dude tugs a bit on the robe.

   Jackie: Egyptian Cotton.

   Dude: Huh....?
He nods and sits down next to Walter, on the table between Maude and Walter there is a White Russian. The Dudes eyes light up as he takes the glass and sips it. He crosses his legs and leans back.

   Walter: Hey Dude, feelin' better?
   
   The Dude: Yeah, man, I'm feelin satisfied. Hey Maude.
   
   Maude: Hello "Dude", it is nice to see you again.
   
   The Dude: Nice to see you too. *Smiles*

   Jackie: I have prepared something nice for you two, for your efforts.

Neune comes out from the back of the room with a silver platter in her hand, a rather large long one.

   Walter: Oh man this is gonna be good! What is it? Duck? Turkey?

Neune lifts off the lid to reveal two gigantic Cheech and Chong sized joints, both of them least a foot long and two inches wide.

The Dudes eyes grow huge with excitement, his jaw drops, and he takes one of the Godzilla joints. He slowly moves it across his nose, savoring every scent that flows through his nostrils.
The Dude looks up at Neune with a big smile.

   The Dude: You got a light man?

Jackie searches through his pockets and eventually fishes out an expensive looking lighter, it's maroon with a picture of a naked woman on it,  it's about six inches long. He tosses it over to the Dude.

Walter takes the other joint and sniffs the end.

   Walter: This is some high grade stuff Jackie, where's it from?
   
   Jackie: It's Maui Wowie, privately flown in.
   
   Walter: hohoho I've been a good boy this year.

Upon hearing this new information The Dude lights up one side and and begins puffing away, he coughs a bit and his eyes turn red almost instantly. He hands the lighter to Walter who proceeds to to ease into the same state.

   Knox: *in a goofy voice* I don't know how you can smoke that, ughhh drugs are SO bad for you!

   Geoff: Actually it's quite the contrary *still staring at the screen* From my research it seems that the THC causes the body to produce more T cells which boost the bodies immunity,
   
   Maude looks at her and sighs.
   Maude: My daughter, always the little book worm, researching everything. Even in things that she shouldn't know.

   Geoff: Well how could I not look into it after I find out that my father is a flashback to the 1960's counter-culture.

We shift around to The Dude is passed out on the chair with the joint still lit in his hand, a small bit of it came off on the couch and began to catch fire.

   Walter: *pushing the dude to wake up* Dude!! Your on fire Dude, wake up!

The Dude wakes up to find that the left side of the couch has a mini bon fire. The Dude starts screaming and picks up a sofa cushion and begins pounding the fire, the fire spreads to the sofa cushion, the dude begins screaming like a little girl not knowing what to do, he drops the sofa cushion on the ever growing flame In panic of setting his hands on fire.

Jackie appears by the flame and pours his drink all over it, putting the fire out. He looks at the Dude for a few seconds with a calm almost creepy calm face without saying a word, and then shifts his attention to Walter for a few seconds before proceeding to leave the room.

   Walter: Uh-Oh dude, you've done it now.

The Dude puts his hands on his forhead and massages his brows. "Man it's been a hell of a day. I'm getting too old for this Walter.

   Maude: We should all get some sleep now, we have an important day tomorrow.

   Geoff: It's going to take all night to decode the firewalls on the drive anyway,  I'll have the directions for the destination in the morning.

Everyone leaves the and we cut to Woo showing The Dude where he will be sleeping. The Dude still with the Godzilla blunt in his had continued to puff away.

   The Dude: *exhaling smoke* Are you keeping up on your practice man? We have that big tournament coming up soon.

Woo shrugs and leaves the room. The Dude shakes his head, takes another puff before putting it out in an ashtray on the bedside dresser and crawls in bed, the screen fades black.

He's in a foreign country, the time period looks to be around 1100AD, he's sitting in a dark room with another man.

   1st  man: I can't believe what you are telling me! You quitting the family business, this is outrageous! I can't let you stay here any longer, you must either leave the country or die!
   
   The Dude: I don't know what you're talking about man.

   1st man: You know exactly what I mean, ever since you went "There" it's like you've become an entirely different person!

Suddenly Donny appears next to the Dude.

   Donny: Dude you need to wake up, shit is going down Dude, In and Out Burger... Walrus... Pedarass dude... FIND OLIVER!

Suddenly a bottle comes flying out from the dark into the dudes face. 
We hear an alarm as the scene fades out.

[cckeiser]

Scene 13:

(Great Uncle Leo)

The Dude wakes to find Walter standing over him and shaking his shoulder trying to wake him.

   Walter: Wake up Dude. We have company. Come on Dude...wake up!
   
   The Dude: Hey Walter? What time is it? What's that noise?
   
   Walter: It's almost 9 Dude. That's another helicopter Dude, a big one. Looks like someone important is paying a visit. Everyone is in the kitchen having breakfast. Better get over there Dude. New shit has come to light.

   The Dude: Ok Walter, I'll be there in a few minutes. Hey Walter, I just had this dream that Donny was shouting all kinds of weird shit at me to wake up, then he threw a bottle of Kahlua at me and hit me right in the face! What the fuck do you think that was all about?

   Walter: Fuck Dude, I don't know, but it doesn't sound like our Donny. While he was not exactly a pacifist, Donny was definitely non aggressive. Donny would never throw a bottle at you Dude. Not unless it was something important like maybe to save you from something really hostile to your well being. Sounds like another warning from Donny. Maybe it has something to do with the visitor and the new shit that has come to light since last night?
   
   The Dude: What new shit? Did we find the Big Dick?

   Walter: Not yet Dude, but we are getting close. Da Fino came early this morning. The Big Dick cleaned me out Dude...took everything. All that's left are a few funds under the Mall security operations and a few of the Hummers. He cleaned out all the corporate accounts. Bunny is gone too. Looks like she left with the Big Dick. Why do I keep losing my wives Dude? Why do they keep leaving?

The Dude is peaking out the window at the helicopter that just landed as he replies to Walter.

   The Dude: Fuck Walter! That's some bad news, but at least you're not the one going to jail. Your name is in the clear and you still have the Mall Security company. As for why your wives keep leaving you, that's simple Walter; you keep marrying them.
   Ok, man I gotta use the bathroom and wash up. I'll be over in a few minutes.

The Dude enters the private bathroom that is connected to his bedroom suite and closes the door. Walter exits the Dudes suite and heads back to the kitchen.

As Walter is walking through the hallway back to the kitchen he looks out a window and sees Jackie Treehorn walk out to meet a distinguished looking elderly man as he steps out of the helicopter. They shake hands in a formal business like fashion and Jackie extends a hand and invites the well dress gentleman back to the house.

The Dude just enters the kitchen where Maude, Walter, Da Fino and Geoff are seated around a table with fruits and breakfast cakes piled in the center. There's a large coffee pot on a counter next to the table. We do not see Knox or Neune.
As the Dude nods and greets everyone as he pours a cup of coffee. He spies Jackie and the new arrival entering a foyeur just off the kitchen. The turn and head down the short hallway that leads to a formal dining area that is between the foyeur and the kitchen.
Geoff also sees them and perks with recognition.

   Geoff shouts: "Uncle Leo!" and runs excitedly to greet him.

Great Uncle Leo bends to meet Geoff and swops her up in his arms with a jolly "Hello Princess!" as he hugs her tightly.

   Great Uncle Leo: Well Princess, you had us all worried. I am delighted to see you are alright and in good hands. Mr Treehorn treating you well?
   
   Geoff: He sure is unck, but I want to go home now. Is it ok if we go home now?

   Jackie, Leo and Geoff enter the kitchen. Jackie turns to Leo and give a slight bow of his head and says "I'll leave you now. Call if you need anything".

   Leo also nods slightly and says: "Thanks you for you kindness Jackie. It will not be forgotten."

At which Jackie just nods and turns to exit back the way he came. Da Fino giving a nod to Walter and then to Leo catches up to Jackie and exits with him.

The first thing Walter notices is that Leo looks an awful lot like The Dude. So much so he could be The Dude's more distinguished older brother!
The Dude does not see the resemblance, but considers Leo a hansom man.

Leo sets Geoff down and greets Maude.

   Leo: Well Maude I see all is well at last. I take it this is "The Dude" and his friend Walter Sobchak we have been hearing so much about lately.

   Maude: Yes Leo, this is "The Dude"...the other Jeffery Lebowski of course. Jeffery, I would like you to meet Leopold Lebowski; my fathers brother. He runs own family business Jeffery. Those were his helicopters you saw yesterday. It was Leo who was able to track you by your cell phone and it was Leo who called in a debt and sent Jackie to your rescue till we were able to get our helicopter here from our headquarters.

   Leo with a nod and an offered hand: Jeffery.

   The Dude: Call me Dude. Nice to finally meet you Leo. Geoff has nothing but high praise for her uncle Leo.

   Leo, as he musses up Geoff's hair: Well Dude she is our little Princess. Nothing is too good for our little Princess...we spoil her rotten. I’m Geoff’s great uncle really. I am Maude’s uncle on her mother’s side...my sister...

   Maude: Walter...uncle Leo Lebowski. Leo...Walter.

Walter nods and extends a hand with a sheepish look on his face.

   Walter: Mr Lebowski. A Pleasure sir, a real pleasure. And I am so so sorry for all this mess. But if it were not for Geoff here and here friends,...well...she saved my ass for certain sir. Yes she did. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you all...well...just ask. I am in your debt...I'm in all your debt.

   Leo: Yes Walter, I am well aware of your situation. We will talk later. But now I must talk to Maude and take my family home.
   There will be plenty of time for negotiations after I see to it that my family is safely back home.

   Leo turns and addresses Maude: Maude, I made arrangements to have your Limo take you back home. I have made the arrangements to take Geoff to see Oliver. It's time to take her to our ancestral home and introduce her to our family history. She is old enough to learn the truth about her ancestors, the Family Curse and the family business.
   It is time to take her home to Braslau.

[The Lennon]

Scene 14:
The true Journey begins.


Geoff gets into the Helicopter with her uncle and waves goodbye to everyone. The helicopter takes off into the air towards the LA air port. We move back to the group on ground level.

   The Dude: Yeah man, well what should we do now?
   
   Walter: Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling.
   
The Dude smiles but pauses for a moment.
   
   Walter: What is it Dude?

   The Dude: Walter wasn't our bowling equipment still in the Hummer back at the bungalow?

Walter pauses with a blank look in his face for a few seconds.

   Walter: You know what dude you're right.

Walter slaps the dude on the back lightly

   Water: Come on Dude, hey Maude, you have any way we can get back to our Hummer?
   
   Maude: We've already arranged everything, the hummer is in top shape. We cleaned it and refurbished it thoroughly.

The Dude begins to sweat and a tense look appears on his face.

   The Dude: How thoroughly?
   
   Maude: Go and see for yourself.

Maude pulls out an expensive looking cell phone and holds it up to her ear.

   Maude: Okay bring it around.

Only a minute passes and the Hummer comes from around the corner with Knox Harrington driving it, he parks next to the Dude and gets out.

   Knox: Here you go dude, *giggle*

The Dude quickly opens up the car and searches under the seat frantically.

   Walter: What's wrong dude, lose something?

   Dude: Where's my stash man!!!

   Knox: *giggle* oh I got rid of that for you, it looked old.

The Dude gets out of the hummer and walks up to Knox.

   The Dude: You fuck!! It's better when it's aged you shit head!

   Walter: Calm down Dude, I'll buy you some more weed later.

   The Dude: Fuck Walter, you can't because all of your shit was cleaned out of the office, we're practically broke!!

   Maude: Relax Jeffery, here if it's any consolation, I will replace your "Stash" for you, what kind do you want?

The Dude still panicking and breathing heavily puts his hands on his forehead and tries to relax.

   Walter: Dude you don't want to hyper ventilate here, relax Dude, you can get it back, just take the offer Dude.
   
   The Dude: sigh, okay man, just get me more of the stuff we smoked last night okay?

   Maude: Done, I'll send it to you via Lebowski express delivery, it will be on your possession by tomorrow. Now if you'll excuse me I have some unfinished business to attend to.

Maude turns around and waves to a white limo parked across the drive way. It moves toward her and she gets in.


Everyone goes their separate ways, Walter and The Dude leave in the Hummer towards the bowling alley and we cut to Geoff and Leo who are now arriving at the air port.

   Geoff: Where are we going Uncle?
   
   Uncle Leo: To our roots my darling...in Braslau...across the seas dear.
   
   Geoff: What are we going to do when we get there?
   
   Uncle Leo: You'll find out, just expect it to be a surprise.
   
   Geoff: Alright.

Geoff pulls out her laptop from her black satchel still with the flash drive in it.

   Geoff: It looks like the firewalls have been successfully penetrated, hmm... The Big Dick is located in... wait a minute didn't you say you were taking me to Braslau?
   
   Uncle Leo: Yes I did...... why do you mention that now?

   Geoff: Well from the information that I gathered it appears that the location you just mentioned is exactly where The Big Dicks central area of operations are!
   
   Uncle Leo: hm.... that wouldn't surprise me one bit. I know for sure now, it's time for you to learn about our family history.

The Helicopter lands and the door swings open, a man in a black suit who appears to work for the air port moves to where the door is and picks up Geoff and sets her down safely on the ground. Uncle Leo gets out and takes Geoff?s hand, as they follow the man to a small jet with the same symbol that is on the Helicopter. And they get in.

Meanwhile we go to the Dude and Walter who are driving towards the bowling alley. Walter is driving.

   The Dude; *still stressed*: Man I had been saving that for a special occasion.
   
   Walter: Let it go dude, it's not worth having a heart attack over.
   
   The Dude: sigh You're right.

We see an accident coming up ahead, a bunch of police cars are crashed into each other, Walter slows down and both of them get out to investigate.
   
   Walter: The roads blocked, how do we get around?

An officer comes up to them, it's the same police chief of Malibu.

   The Chief: I told you to stay out of Malibu you Fuck! Every time you come here you seem to cause trouble for our community, look at this mess! Who's going to pay for this?
   
   Walter: Well not me.

   The Chief: *in a snide voice* "Well not me" I told you to stay the fuck out of Malibu, and I meant it. I'm taking  both of you in!
   
   Walter and The Dude: Fuck!

We shift back to Geoff and Leo who are now over the ocean moving fast towards Braslau.

   Uncle Leo: You may not know this, but you have an important mission ahead of you, you are a very special child you know that?
   
   Geoff: You always told me that as a young child Uncle, what do you mean?
   
   Uncle Leo: You have a strong heritage Geoff, a very strong heritage.
   
   Geoff: I know that, mother is on the board of trustees and I will eventually take her seat.
   
   Uncle Leo: Even more so than you think.
   
   Geoff: Really?

   Uncle Leo: This may come as a shock to you when you find out, so I want you to brace yourself when we meet your great grandfather.
   
   Geoff: Alright.

The plane flies off into the sunset and the scene ends.